Don't waste your time...  

MajorEasy 46M
3805 posts
11/5/2005 10:54 am
Don't waste your time...


Hahahaha...pissed a mate off recently when he asked for advise on who to go for in AdultFriendFinder...

He : " Should I email the pretty ones?? They look so goooooddd!!"
Me : " Don't waste your time mate, those are mostly fake profiles and if they are not, they have thousands of guys to choose from. Chance of you getting a reply is zero"

He : " How about those with great body pics?"
Me : " Don't waste your time mate, if they looked that good in person, they would not need to be here...won't get a reply unless you're Brad Pitt...and if you were Brad, they won't believe you."

He : " So I should write to those without photo?"
Me : " Don't waste your time mate, how do you even know if they are real? Even if they are real, how do you know they are women? Do you really want a possible nasty surprise at the first meeting??"

He : " Ok, sounds fair, how about those with well written profiles?"
Me : " Don't waste your time mate, if the profiles are well written, they are going to be very articulate in person too, ie, vocally demanding...not something you can cope with..."

He : " Then those with poorly written profiles?"
Me : " Don't waste your time mate, if they don't care to spend even a few minutes to write a proper profile, what hope do you have of them writing an email back to you?"

He : " I got it, I'm going to email those who ask for sex!"
Me : " Don't waste your time mate, those are normally teasers who have nothing better to do. Having written what they want for sex and how they want their bodies to be abused, how could these women dare meet you in person...think about it, it would too awkward even for a bloke to meet a woman after promising all kinds of kinky stuff beforehand...what more from a lady?"

He : " Alright, that leaves profiles with very general stuff...those who claim they don't mind meeting anyone?"
Me : " Don't waste your time mate, if they truly don't mind meeting anyone, they must really not have a life...why would you even want to meet someone like that?"

He : "True, how about those who say they are selective?"
Me : "Don't waste your time mate, If they are selective, then you will be in for very harsh judgement, that defies the whole purpose of being in a site for fun, easy, no-strings hook up..."

He : "Hmmm...that pretty much takes care of the girls then...how about writing to guys?"
Me : " Don't waste your time mate, you may send out the wrong signal and let's not pretend that you'll be comfortable meeting with just one guy from AdultFriendFinder.."

He : " So in essence, you're saying it's a waste of time writing to anyone in this site?"
Me : " YUP!!"

Hahahaha...I was being honest but he really did not ask the right questions...

An orgasm to any lady, and a beer to any guy who can tell me what questions he should have asked instead...


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. . . . .Read on . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .NOW A PART OF THE . . . The Lecture Circuit... SERIES...

. . . . . . . MajorEasy's Blog...
There is no use getting, into heavy petting
it only leads to trouble, and seat wetting.....
.


singalong100033 58M/51F

11/5/2005 10:52 pm

Hmmmm..how to compete with other?how to make good converstation or attract the lady?do i win an orgasm now?...hahahahaha.


MajorEasy 46M
2693 posts
11/6/2005 10:06 am

Hmmm...funsassy...sweetie, you didn't get it...minus one orgasm for you...don't SWEAT it though...there'll still be plenty for you to enjoy...

singalong...pretty close but not quite...okie, you get half an orgasm for the effort...have another try and perhaps you can get the whole orgasm..

Shan't reveal the answer yet, give others a chance to claim the prize..

. . . . . . . MajorEasy's Blog...
There is no use getting, into heavy petting
it only leads to trouble, and seat wetting.....
.


rm_W223344Y 41F
34 posts
11/9/2005 6:09 am

he should have asked, who should i go for?
i want my orgasm as soon as you're free, thanks.


MajorEasy 46M
2693 posts
11/9/2005 10:38 am

Hahahahaha...sweetie...that's very good...not the right answer in my book but yes mdm...you're not wrong either...one orgasm coming up!!


Sayyyyy wheeeennnnnnn!!


. . . . . . . MajorEasy's Blog...
There is no use getting, into heavy petting
it only leads to trouble, and seat wetting.....
.


MajorEasy 46M
2693 posts
11/14/2005 7:28 am

Hahahahaha...mylf46..."Tell me, oh great master, will you help guide me through the swirling dark waters of the raging Hotmatch stream as I learn how to safely and enjoyably make my way through the rapids and on to the shore of sexual pleasure?"
Sweetheart...for this alone, you deserve an orgasm...

Sorry...you can't have both...it's just that beer tastes a little funky after mouth-genital contact... I found out a few days ago that whiskey, however, is a great mixer with women's natural nectar...

"your riddle implies that you know a thing or two about women and what they want."

Heh heh heh...you're talking to the Yoda of sex!!!

The answer (or question in this case...) is not that complex...can't believe no one has thought of it yet...for clues, read through my other group posts and profile and blogs...come one people...it's dead easy...

. . . . . . . MajorEasy's Blog...
There is no use getting, into heavy petting
it only leads to trouble, and seat wetting.....
.


MajorEasy 46M
2693 posts
11/14/2005 8:17 pm

Scotch!!!???!!!...Wow...that'll do it my dear. (personal fav is JW Blue...failing which, Chivas is always a good alternative...)

Button?? ^_^ You have a button??? COOL!!! But sweetie, I rather spend a couple of minutes 'digging' it out for myself..that's half the fun. (I promise it won't take more than 5 minutes, okie?? heh heh...yeah, I'm a guy...we worry about shit like time and frequency... )

Qucik question...when you say multi-O...do you mean it as many Os in one session with breaks in between, or one O after another within one long-drawn-out orgasmic paroxysm?

I do like your reverse assumptive reply as a means to get an orgasm...but no go sweetie...*wagging a finger you would absolutely love under different circumstance*...until I see you write out the actual answer to the question....saying you found it doesn't make it so...
Perhaps it would have worked better if you came back with...'my brain is clogged...can you give me a couple orgasms to clear it so I can think of the answer?'

(NB...I hand out orgasms for effort...and so far, you're close to scoring one...keep it up!!)

. . . . . . . MajorEasy's Blog...
There is no use getting, into heavy petting
it only leads to trouble, and seat wetting.....
.


MajorEasy 46M
2693 posts
11/14/2005 11:15 pm

Ahhhh..glenfiddich...aye lass...you're a'right...

If ever you get the chance..Blue is too smooth...nothing can beat it!!

Errrrrmmm...confused...excuse a bloke for asking...if you have the one after another, tidal wave like, gone to heaven, out of body experience, shaking and quivering and drooling and leaking, legs twitching, body convulsing, heart undecided to stop or beat faster, lost control of thought, feeling and emotion type orgasm...do you consider that as one orgasm or quite a few?? See, if I'm gonna pay up...I gotta get the facts right...if you decide to give me change after the transaction...I'm not sure I can handle having 3 or 4 orgasms in a row.. (I know I can always stop after giving you just one...but experience tells me that you might be shouting "don't stop"...and I'd be put in an awkward position...hahahahaha...so to speak...)

"so don't even think you are taking that back mister"

Never crossed my mind sweetie....orgasms are like happiness...the more you give, the more you enjoy giving...

P/S- just wondering aloud....what did you do to the two men?? If I found a woman who can do something similar for me...I'd keep her around for as long as I can....

. . . . . . . MajorEasy's Blog...
There is no use getting, into heavy petting
it only leads to trouble, and seat wetting.....
.


MajorEasy 46M
2693 posts
11/15/2005 11:06 am

"I'll just bet you can handle 3 or 4 in a row like that."

Hahahaha...thanks for the confidence sweetie...but being a man...methinks it best that I not be too greedy...one per session would do me fine...two would be tiring for you..3-4 would have me spurting blood...probably...

Well then, if one looooonnnnnngggggg orgasm is still one...then it's all cool...but....are you sure you want to shoot for three?? Won't something burst?? heh heh...doc...sorry to disturb but we simply lost count...is it normal for steam to come out of her ears like that??

. . . . . . . MajorEasy's Blog...
There is no use getting, into heavy petting
it only leads to trouble, and seat wetting.....
.


MajorEasy 46M
2693 posts
11/17/2005 9:56 am

Hahahaha...oh sweetie...I'm terribly flattered...you were sitting there blurry eyed and bored out of your mind and you thought of me and my question...you're too sweet!!

You made a really good attempt at answering the question but unfortunately, it's still not the right one....heh heh heh...as you have obviously put some thought into it...and you're technically not wrong..I'll give you your second orgasm....

Time to seriously push for the third...here's another hint..for anyone who is still trying...
So far, all the questions that everyone has brought up requires an answer which may or may not be workable...I could be wrong and therefore he would not get any benefit from my answer...there's one question which will yield an answer that can never be wrong...think about it...as long as he asks that one question (or questions to the same effect...) my truthful answer cannot be wrong...it might not work for him, but it will be right.
^_^ -_- ^_^

I'll gladly bring JW Blue with me...and so far, you've secured for yourself a fairly good time...what with a few drinks and 2 orgasms in tow...let's go for the third...you'll be nicely knocked out for the rest of the day...

. . . . . . . MajorEasy's Blog...
There is no use getting, into heavy petting
it only leads to trouble, and seat wetting.....
.


greatsucker1978 38F

11/20/2005 1:56 am

hello Major. Today is my first time on the AdultFriend Finder, and was so bored from reading the posts in the other groups. Not to mention brainless!!! That is until I read yours... And I understand why there hv been so many responses to this group!

So this is a genuine compliment for you. And about the "right" question your friend should have asked, I'll say 'Heck, just be yourself, be confident, and ask what's on your mind!"

Hows this for my first time in this group?


rm_W223344Y 41F
34 posts
11/20/2005 7:52 am

Hi greatsucker, thanks for joining in. the sexual tension and flirting was getting so much no one else could get a word in. if i didn't talk to the major yesterday, i would have thought he went to portland already.

you're right though, the man has a way to get everyone involve and his questions are normally deeper than face value. so i urge you not to jump in too deep, read and think before replying. he has a nasty habit of 'whacking' people who post without thought.

i'm still waiting for the result to understand why i didn't win an orgasm.


MajorEasy 46M
2693 posts
11/20/2005 10:41 am

Welcome and thanks for your compliment greatsucker..

Nah...wrong answer...no orgasm for you just yet... (but because you did the right thing by stroking my ego...there may be a couple of kisses for you now...work at it a bit more and who knows... )

W22 sweetie...sorry, but the judge's decision is final...I did promise you an orgasm on the side didn't I?? In fact, it was delivered a while back...hahahaha...it was over-delivered if my memory serves me correctly...

Sorry to leave everyone else out of my little intercourse with mylf...she's lovely and I just wanted her to feel at home...not often I get a scotch-drinking visitor from Portland...

. . . . . . . MajorEasy's Blog...
There is no use getting, into heavy petting
it only leads to trouble, and seat wetting.....
.


bacca_laureati 42M

12/12/2005 9:55 am

Hmmm seeing as you've not posted the answer yet I'm assuming the challenge is still on. If that's the case then whilst my two remaining brain cells argue over what the probable right question is (damn is this Jeopardy?) I'm just going to go with a simple open ended question: -

"What can I do to maximise my chances of meeting someone through this site?"

[Yoda of sex? Small, green and speaks strangely does this mean you are?]


MajorEasy 46M
2693 posts
12/13/2005 11:59 am

Hahaha...yes..smallish, greenish and strangely speaking...that's the real Yoda...but mate...the Yoda of sex...it's all about the force...the force to rock all women who 'comes' into contact with the power of the force...

By the way...you're wrong too...but you'll understand if I don't offer you any kisses as a consolation...


NEXT!!!

. . . . . . . MajorEasy's Blog...
There is no use getting, into heavy petting
it only leads to trouble, and seat wetting.....
.


bacca_laureati 42M

12/14/2005 5:23 am

Darn.


MajorEasy 46M
2693 posts
12/14/2005 10:29 am

Errrrmmmm excuse me sir....you still here?? When the counter says NEXT...that means you should shift your arse and let the next person in...when your brain has engaged and feels it has come up with an answer...take another number and queue again...thank you...NEXT!!!



. . . . . . . MajorEasy's Blog...
There is no use getting, into heavy petting
it only leads to trouble, and seat wetting.....
.


bacca_laureati 42M

12/16/2005 9:24 am

Yeah I'm still here. Waiting to see what the bleeding answer is. Somehow I get the feeling it'd end up a little like a recent problem of yours - anti-climatic.


MajorEasy 46M
2693 posts
12/16/2005 10:29 am

Sir...you're blocking the queue...kindly move away!!


No worries mate...the answer shall be revealed soon enough...just give everyone a little more time to claim the prize. The beers are getting warm and the Os are still waiting...


. . . . . . . MajorEasy's Blog...
There is no use getting, into heavy petting
it only leads to trouble, and seat wetting.....
.


MajorEasy 46M
2693 posts
12/19/2005 9:29 am

Hmmm....seems the contest has cooled somewhat...okie...for those still waiting...I shall reveal the orgasm / beer winning answer in a week's time...

Hear ye hear ye....or....read all about it...in a week...


. . . . . . . MajorEasy's Blog...
There is no use getting, into heavy petting
it only leads to trouble, and seat wetting.....
.


MajorEasy 46M
2693 posts
12/29/2005 10:33 am

*sigh*...no new takers...

As promised...here's the answer (question)...'you seem to have some sucess here, how do you decide who to write to?'



. . . . . . . MajorEasy's Blog...
There is no use getting, into heavy petting
it only leads to trouble, and seat wetting.....
.


MajorEasy 46M
2693 posts
1/25/2015 11:55 am

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .NOW A PART OF THE . . . The Lecture Circuit... SERIES...

. . . . . . . MajorEasy's Blog...
There is no use getting, into heavy petting
it only leads to trouble, and seat wetting.....
.


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