T'was The Night Before Sexmas ...  

MaggiesWishes 60F
2231 posts
12/11/2005 10:13 pm

Last Read:
6/25/2006 3:10 pm

T'was The Night Before Sexmas ...

T'was the night before Christmas and geeze it was neat
The kids were both gone and my wife was in heat
The doors were all bolted and the phone was off the hook
It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook
Momma in her teddy and I in the nude
Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube
When out on the lawn there arouse such a cry
That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry
Up to the window, I sprang like an elf
Tore back the shade while she played with herself
The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built
Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer
With a fat little driver, half out of his sled
A sock in his ear and a bra on his head
Sure as I'm speaking, he was high as a kite
And he yelled to his team
But it didn't sound right

"Whoa Shithead, Whoa Asshole, Whoa Stupid, Whoa Putz ...
either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts!
Look out for the lamp post and don't hit the tree
Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta pee!"

They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub
Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub
And then from the roof we heard such a clatter
As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder
I was donning my jacket to cover my ass
When down the chimney Santa came with a crash
His suit was all smelly with perfume galore
He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore

"That was some brothel," he said with a smile
"The reindeer are pooped and I'll just stay here awhile."

He walked to the kitchen, himself poured a drink
Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in my sink
I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee
The old boy was hung nearly down to his knees
Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack
But his toys were all gone
and some new things were packed
The first thing he found was a pair of false tits
The next was a handgun with a penis that spits
A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find
And a six pair of panties
The edible kind
A bra without nipples, a penis extension
And several other things that I shouldn't even mention
A cock ring, a G-string and all types of oil
A dildo so long, it lay in a coil

"This stuff ain't for kids, he said,
Mrs Santa will shit!
So I'll just leave them here
and then I'll just split."

He filled every stocking and then took his leave
With one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve
He sprang to his sleigh but his feet were like lead
Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead
In time he was seated, took the reins of his hitch

Saying, "Take me home, Rudolph ...
This night's been a bitch!"

The sleigh was near gone, when we heard Santa shout,

"The best thing about sex ... is that it never wears out!"

Merry SEXMAS to ALL ... and to ALL a good fucking night!

themisskrissy 56F
2302 posts
12/11/2005 10:56 pm

too funny! i needed a good giggle!!

Virtue Alone Ennobles

MaggiesWishes 60F

12/11/2005 11:31 pm

Yea... MissKrissy, I get like that ever so often too...
need a good hardy laugh, I usually find one here. LMAO!

SolarPowered0 67M
8018 posts
12/12/2005 12:09 am

A Christmas delight within every bite!

Excellent Maggs!!!


bardicman 50M

12/12/2005 2:00 am


Now where's me bloody egg nog

I am not dead yet

MaggiesWishes 60F

12/12/2005 2:42 am

<==== does the curtsey thingy to Solar

Thank ya sug'ah!

MaggiesWishes 60F

12/12/2005 3:09 pm

<==== has Southern Comfort eggnog ~ all ready to serve.

Name ya poison, Bard

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