Walking away  

Mackey05 39F
508 posts
4/20/2005 10:11 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Walking away

After a lot of thought I decided that I need to take a break from this site, trying to find a FWB, and stop dating for awhile. I've been having so many negative and disappointing experiences with men that I am becoming very disillusioned and become more and more jaded day by day.

Going through the emotions I've had the past few days regarding the death of my friend I've come to the realization that good, descent men are extremely rare and when they become a part of your life you should be thankful and know that you are truly lucky. Yes, I've met ( not face to face ) some great guys who make me feel a little bit better but when the connection is made through a computer screen it's just not the same.

I've grown tired of the lies, games, stupid men that are overly abundant, the disrespect for feelings, being hunted down and contacted over and over again by the same men thinking that someday I will submit and sell myself short and hook up with them after they have been verbally abusive and rude, illogical men and e-mails.... My list can go on and on but my main point is that my disillusionment has overcome me and I am starting to hate men.. I said hate and mean it. I want to belive that there are nice ones but some of you guys make it so hard. You claim over and over again that you are great guys and will make wonderful friends but words mean nothing when your actions reflect the true person you are. I know when to forgive and know when I am being played... I'd rather go on not having sex or dealing with this crap the rest of my life because it is making me feel things I don't want to feel and it is changing me for the worse.

Thank you to Soothingbear, SigEp, Sporty, my Shield buddy ( I cannot reach you beacuse of your member status putting a block on standard members ), MN, IPman,and the ladies who have shown a lot of kindness and suppport. I need a break and don't know if I'll ever come back. Good luck to you all.

ccninja 42M

4/20/2005 2:12 pm

I don't know about you, but I get to a point sometimes where trying to meet people becomes more work than fun. We all need a break from it sometimes. Good luck and I hope you'll find something that makes you happy.

TakesTeatsStood 50M
505 posts
4/20/2005 8:43 pm

Good luck Mackey, I was going to try to drop you a note from my paid account (no - not a note hitting on you, just a bit more personal) but I see you have your profile turned off - so all the best in whatever you decide to do.

rm_Somesecret2 37M

4/21/2005 12:26 am

Sorry to hear things not going so well for you. Wish you the best getting through them
I know you don't know me, but if you need someone to listen, look me up.
And again, i hope things go better for ya

Sexonthebrain4U 50M
36 posts
4/21/2005 1:39 am

I'm sorry to hear about you leaving...hope you find what you're looking for. You will definately be missed...take care, hun...

LickMe5X 52F
41 posts
4/21/2005 11:36 am

Aw...do not give up..I was just getting into reading your posts here. It would be lonely here w/ out you.

rm_bluegenes51 56M
245 posts
4/21/2005 11:41 am

I am sorry to see you go..I hope that you return shortly. I know that I will never meet you, but I like your blog

rm_4nik8_4u 61M
2501 posts
4/21/2005 1:37 pm

HEY, DON'T GO! I'M CONCERNED ABOUT YOU! I know I don't know you and I really hate that people(some men) have made you feel bad, but please realize they are the minority. They are just persistant. You have a number of posts that show people do care. Your post really scares me because I don't know what your thinking and I sense a great deal of pain. So please talk to the people who do care and let them help you through this. Thanks for listening

loyaldittohead 37M
1 post
4/21/2005 2:17 pm

I don't really think this is the site to use if you are looking for a meaningful relationship. Undoubtably there are quality people here, but this is a site that promotes itself as a place for guys to find easy sex. By in large, tha is going to attract an element of the population who are going to play head games and generally misbehave. I would hate to be a female on this site, I can't imagine the amount of crap they get from guys that are shotgunning messages hoping to get lucky.

As a "nice guy" my suggestion to you is to change your tactics. Most nice guys tend to be a little introverted. If you're meeting people by going to the bar, clubs or the gym you're meeting people who are too extroverted for the kind of relationship you are looking for. The absolutely best place to meet nice guys is church. Even if you don't particularly subscribe to their beliefs the single guys attending are going to be more inclinded to the type of relationship you want. Of course, these are all generalities and your individual milage my vary.

mnfun952 102M

4/21/2005 5:19 pm

We will miss you - and I truly hope that you find great joy and happiness in your life. I have to add this comment - it seems more common than one might think - but I'm seeing several people leaving this site after a few weeks of blogging. The act of blogging can be therapeutic - writing as an act of catharsis - the result being a fairly important 'breakthrough' for these individuals - helping them to see what they really want or who they really are. I think this topic needs more discussion and I will be adding it to my own blog soon enough.



cloud1945 67M

4/21/2005 5:26 pm

mackey, you have helped alot of people. I thank you and believe you must be regarded very highly by alot and I say alot of people.
Some miners was mining in the west and couldn't raise a pinch of gold. They stopped one day and called it quits. Another mining company moved in and dug three feet and struck a mother load.
Dig a few more feet,walk a few more steps, email once more time and look at the great diversity of men.

keithcancook 60M
17795 posts
4/21/2005 6:39 pm

I will miss your honest and emotional postings. I wish you well wherever life takes you and I mean that truly.

SexySquirterGirl 50F
102 posts
4/21/2005 10:07 pm

Mackey~I am right behind you... I have been on verge of pulling out as well. It gets old, the story get repeative, and I have started wondering why in the world am I even here? Granted it could just be the mood I have been in, or maybe I am tired of being single and having fuck buddies. I dont know, but I am sorry to see you go.. I like your blog, and agree with MnFun, I think blogging may cause some of us to re-evalute what we are looking for or maybe we simplely discover enough is enough. Best wishes for you and I hope you find what you are looking for. Big Hugs, SG


4/22/2005 12:54 pm

GOOD LUCK Mackey take care of yourself , and try to remember that you are number 1 ,I am sure that you will be fine in any thing you choose you are alot stronger than you give yourself credit for.
Smile and walk with your head up high.

sportyfun56 106M

4/22/2005 1:34 pm

Mackey sweetie,

I know you have felt great pain and frustration here and elsewhere. I am grieved and sorry for that. The person that I have come to know and appreciate through this portal has certainly deserved much better than they have gotten. You deserve much better hun. And I am truly and honestly confident that you will find what it is that you deserve and seek somewhere, sometime.

I know I have felt some small connection with you here and that suggests to me that there is surely someone out there looking for YOU and wondering where you are. Know that you are being sought by one that is for you.
I hope the time you take for yourself now will make you stronger but not rigid. Softer and not weaker. Sweeter and not bitter.

Know also that there are many that you have "met" here that are wishing you the best and are happy to have likewise "met" you. Always know that you will be welcome here if/when you return by those that you already know or a new bunch if "we" are missing.

you have my warmest of hugs and wishes babe.


EvilMuppet69 37M
89 posts
4/23/2005 4:27 am

I've only just found your blog, but I can see where you're coming from. Good luck in the future, but please don't think ill of all of us men, we're not all assholes.

LickMe5X 52F
41 posts
4/24/2005 5:56 am

...agree with muppet... you can encounter hundreds of "OK" guys..and a couple of real jerks. Too bad it is the jerks that we remember most..

ltsgetnwty 47M/44F
17 posts
4/24/2005 4:15 pm

Unfortunately, after being on AdultFriendFinder for a while we can understand your decision. If you are truly looking for a relationship, we don't think AdultFriendFinder is the place to be doing so. The guys on here (most of them) really don't give a shit about anything other than their dick.

Whatever your decision, best of luck to you.

missy97330 47F

4/24/2005 10:50 pm

I had to take a break from the whirl wind as well. I am still here blogging and chatting. But no more listening to guys tell lme how great at oral they are, how they hate one night stnds, only to find they are average and never call again. I can't say I relate to the hate, but you must be going through rough times. I am sorry.

You know what's best for you. Trust your instincts.

IPman 61M
313 posts
4/25/2005 6:50 am

Mackey: walk away but run back.

I am almost twice your age, so I would like to think that my life experiences could benefit you.

I have the same instincts as you, I get bummed out, disillusioned and I just want to bolt; I don’t want to see my friends I just want to shut down and be alone. I understand how you feel and why you want to walk away.

Mackey as I get older, I have found that if I can resist that urge to break away, and stay put with my friends and family, it’s everyone around me who brings me back. OK I'll admit it, I am weak, and need to rely on others who care about me to get myself in balance again. I don’t have the power in myself; I need the power of others to bring me back.

Here is the really cool thing for you to take away, I bet you will find that your friends will really be there for you, they really will help you regain your energy and balance.

So in summary I understand your need to walk away, I am hoping that you will be RUNNING back here and soon. This place can drain you, but try to use it to fill yourself up and regain your balance.

PS: Mackey thanks for your supporting and kind words of IPman... see you prove my point, even while down, you have the energy to support your friends, now go to your bank of friends and withdrawal some love and support that you have been saving up in them for years... looking forward to seeing you back here soon... make it quick!

nicole4fun74 42F

4/25/2005 11:55 am


"I need a break and don't know if I'll ever come back. Good luck to you all." How dramatic! Cry me a river.

Gee whiz, doesn't anybody in this room have any balls? Whine, whine, whine. Goodbye drama queen. I will try not to shed too many tears for you.

Apolybear 54M

4/26/2005 5:16 am

Mackey, I will miss your heartfelt posts. Hopefully, your time off will give you time to heal and we'll see you on AdultFriendFinder in the future. Take care, John.

LustGoddess2469 50F  
2453 posts
4/27/2005 5:35 pm


Sorry to hear about you leaving. I hope you do come back after some time off from the site. I enjoy reading your posts, and I know that many, many others here do as well. I wish you the best of luck in whatever it is you decide to do, and I truly hope that you find that inner peace and happiness that you are looking for. Hang in there.


lustmirror 63M
2897 posts
4/27/2005 8:24 pm

Good luck to you
and sorry about your loss....
there are places where sex isn't the first concern...
and hopefully there, you will meet someone
and someone will meet you.

rm_sweetie10169 60F
1 post
4/28/2005 6:45 am


I do hope you come back to read your posts ... As they do look
like real concern to me . I agree with you about what you wrote and totally can connect.. When you mix sex with men or women and with no commitment its like a different world for some people . And lying becomes the norm. There are good people out there, Only on here its about sex and sadly even that can be lied about or games played. I am sorry I didnt get to chat with you I am here in Illinois too .. Best of luck ....

rm_lee581958 58M

5/1/2005 9:02 pm

As a man I'm sorry for all the jerks you've met.I wish I would have met you becouse even though I'm not perfect I always treat all ladies with respect and try to meet their needs too.Too many men on these sites are only interested in one thing and it isn't mutual pleasure.Please dont give up on us.By yhe way I grew up in southern Ill.

LeEnchantress 55F

5/4/2005 12:23 pm

Well.. Mackey.. i can certainly relate to alot of what you have said... There are so many selfish and dishonest people on this site.. it is completely disillusioning. I am getting very disillusioned about men too. I love men.. but i am starting to hate their head space... No.. i don't mean i hate they want sex per se.. but they way they treat women... like we are just objects who have no hearts of feelings at all is so sad...
The crazy thing is.. guys think they are the only ones who need to have sex. But if you want to get laid by a guy you have to put up with all his bullshit and lies. Lies do hurt.
I read thru your post about your friend who committed suicide.. i'm very sorry for that.. He sounded like an extremely decent wonderful person. There aren't too many of those around unfortunately. I agree with you... it wasn't your fault .. he was just a victim of circumstances.. some very hurtful and tragic ones...
You did everythign you could.. You sound like a good person too.
I've become burned out on this site too.. I like to read the blogs and it's fun to peruse what you think might be an attractive guy's profile.. but for the most part i found this site to be a waste of time. I've received many hurtful e-mail too from guys who cannot accept i'm not into them. do any of them EVER read the profile i wrote.. i think not....
I wish you the best..... i am sort of losing hope that finding someone compatible on a website period is even possible let alone worthwhile persuing.
All the best to you. Hopefully when or if i do read another post from you, that we've both met some wonderful guy. Take care Mackey

Scott6372005 45G

5/5/2005 10:26 pm

For the most part, I agree. The male part of this species is a total loss. I am sorry for your hurt, and only hope that you find peace. God be with you. Jenn and I will pray, for what it is worth to you. Scott.

Alvic74 45M
1 post
6/10/2005 4:55 am

Good, got lots of friends and a heavy commitment in your life, Hope all Americans aren't a bussy as you... Sorry or loosing a loved one... I have been there so know what youre going through...WORDS FROM AFRICA.. thanks

Jerosd 47M

6/15/2005 8:44 am

Well....said to see u go.....hope u have a good life and we'll welcum u back anyday

JustaSeeker 106F

7/2/2005 10:40 am

Don't lose hope. I don't know you and you don't know me, but we have the same emotions, and I know how this is all affecting you. This place can destroy you if you let it, or it can be a place where you can open up completely and be more honest than you ever imagined. You can even meet people you can talk to, anytime about anything, without any pretense. I've learned more about people and shared more raw emotion here than...?

I can only take a few weeks at a time of reading and responding to the ads- usually all that's needed to come up with an assortment of men who COULD be normal and agreeable. Some have even taken the time to read my profile. Btw, I'm advertising for a FWB, not something meaningless- so I'm one of "those"- that's why I understand so well.

I've met men here, but most are not as represented. I think that they just see themselves unrealistically. Lucky for them, I sort of suspected that beforehand... This is my point. The only way to survive and possibly meet someone you could really like and want to spend time with, online or offline, is to not take it too seriously. If you do, you'll just get hurt. You just can't control anyone but yourself- and you are the only person who can ever truly love or accept you- so that's the person you have to have respect for and take care of. If leaving will do that, then you should leave. But it sounds like you have kindred spirits here, and it would be a shame to give that up. Take care of yourself!

harito2000 42M
1 post
7/15/2005 5:55 pm


22_nova 38M
60 posts
7/29/2005 6:21 am

i don't know what happened 2 u but i hope u find what ur looking 4 some time what were looking 4 is right there,mayby by stop looking nd chilling 4 a few what ur looking 4 will fall on ur laps!!!!!!

lovesyoutoo23 36M
27 posts
8/15/2005 2:29 pm

I use the im on this site. I dont blame you for ignoring most people on this site. But if you ever catch me on the IM give me a chance

StarShapedGeeza 30M
7 posts
8/18/2005 7:06 am

It seems I always say this, but, I'll say it again anyway.

I'm sorry you've had bad experianced with men. I really feel sorry for you women. I've seen it first hand that men treat women like they are nothing. I'd just like to say, we're not all the same, just the most of us. Don't settle for second best.

In life we live, In life we learn, It takes time to see, but time to earn, deep inside we find ourselves, but deep within understand, is life on earth or really hell.

Take Care and Good luck!


rm_pacman806 50M
24 posts
8/20/2005 9:43 am

I'm sorry to hear that u are leaving AdultFriendFinder but don't let the stupidity of some guys ruin it for the rest of us nice guys out here who are just seeking friendship

calis1978 38M
65 posts
8/20/2005 10:33 am

*gives you a comforting hug*
Ive never met you and probably never will.
Even so i felt the need to leave a message, not even knowing if you'll ever read this. Yes, there are a lot of sad people in the net and unfortunately almost all of us fall for them at least once in our lives. I'm glad you do have some good experiences too to look back on.
I know that at times it doesn't look like it, but...the good does outweigh the bad.

Good luck whatever you choose to do

rm_lotusmaglite 45M

8/25/2005 11:13 am

I was kind of sad to see that this blog stopped in April. It was one of the best ones I've read. Good luck to you, M.


9/6/2005 1:08 am

You don't know me but I have to say It is not much eaiser for us guys. I wish you all the best.

Geno4rent 29M
1 post
10/9/2005 9:37 pm

Hello, I am relitively new to this (when I say relative, I mean I joined it today) and your's is the first blog I have seen. I COMPLETELY AGREE!! Men these days piss me off becuase they give guys like me such a bad , merely for being a male. I am sorry on behalf of my sex for any grief you may have encountered. The majority of men are ignorant and care for themselves, without regard for others feelings or needs. I believe that this bunch should be shot in the head repeatedly. It would free up alot of women that are in relationships where they believe that they can't find anyone better, and it would also (at least in my mind) serve as a sort of vengence for all the pain that they have caused, and yet have the potential to cause.
I would be interested in contacting you at some time. My name is Max and my AIM screen name is Geno4Sale. You should IM me sometime so that we can communicate a little more efficiently. Unfortunately I don't have the funding to spend on upgrading my membership for this site so I am afraid that our contact may become a bit limited. I joined this website our of pure boredom, so do not judge me based on this being posted to begin with. I must now return to writing my essay for college. I would be pleased if you could somehow email me or contact me in some fashion. If not, then I wish you the best of luck and offer you this bit of advice: Guys like me (and I want to avoid sounding vain, but for the purposes of this, I cannot) do not use any form of pickup-line or cat-calling. If this happens to you, please just ignore the fool and continue with your day.

Once again, best wishes.

turk388 42M

2/24/2006 2:19 pm

Take pause
Take in a deep breath
Take the lights down
Take in some quiet time
Then when you are back to your center of your universe
Then your strength will come back
Then life will feel better again
Then you will be ready to take on anybody and everything

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