|Blogs > Mackey05 > Sex life in Illinois|
1 day in my inbox
1 day in my inbox
I've been laughing my ass off reading DC Ebony's blogs and encourage everyone to pop in and visit As you've read in my blogs, I've run into a bunch of idiot men here on AdultFriendFinder which can be frustrating at times and my way of turning things around is by making fun of them... When you set yourself up on a tee ( especially after NOT reading someone's profile and blogs ) expect people to take a swing. LOL! Thanks DC!! Right now I am trying to find humor in things to take my mind off of all of the drama that is going on in my life. A lot of men I have chatted with ask about my luck on AdultFriendFinder and how many and what kinds of e-mails I get..
Here are some from today that I'd like to throw out "Eineys" ( The award that says, 'I am not Einstein because no blood runs to my north pole head' award ).
"LOVE THE HANDS ON EXPERINCE I HOPE I LIKE THE PROFILE LOVE TO GET KNOW YOU."
"I am looking for something other than books and shitheads. I'm in grad school and need to have some fun before I leave. Not looking for anything serious but the you never know what could happen. Open to anything really."
"would like to put a face with those 38 c's call ill b waiting or an answer will do"
"Hey want to play"
"So, ok...definitely a woman who knows what she wants! Picture attached. How about sending a face picture? Would like to keep this dialogue going.... " What dialogue? Don't two people have to be involved for one to take place?
"Red haired and lovely. Love oral sex / 69 for a long time. Sending a phot , who knows?" This trench coat, fedora, sunglasses and no pants pic cracks me up!
"You're driving me crazy by not writing me back!" Put on a straight jacket and toss ya in a padded room because it'll get much worse. I am not going to write back even though you've sent me 9 e-mails. Will you stop at 10?
"Hi this is sam from chicago i am good looking and looking for someone like you Because of your wonderfull profile. i will like to get to know you" If you are so darn good looking then why don't you post or send pics?
"YOU WILL LIKE ME" You are supposed to say that after I've fallen into a hypnotic trance from watching your bling swing back and forth for an hour or so, not before. DUH! LOL!!
"Want to share oral some time?
I love that stuff"
"i would love to jerk off for you on cam and then you might want the real thing"
"blak men hav big cok u lik" Is English your second language because there is no way you have a masters degree?
"I want to cuddle and sleep. Want to come over?" Michael Jackson? Is that you?
"I live in the Chicago area in a luxury complex on Lake Shore. I am in my twenties and give amazing massages. Also, I can reach my nose with my tongue. You know what they say about guys with long tongues! I'm very flexible and am a contortionist in fact because I used to do gymnastics. I also did standup comedy while in college.
In case you are not sure I have a few words to help you make up your mind: tantra sex/kama sutra."
"i think i can benifit you"
"Hi sweety, you really have an attractive breasts, i'm such a hot guy, i'm very sensitive, romantic and like touching, i know what to do and how to please a woman. Hi, how are you, let's fuck, is not my way, i like talking discover the woman, going deep inside her soul, then .. may be more. any way i'm sending my photo and if you are interested reply me." This e-mail came with a picture of a man wearing an adult diaper! LOL!
"U need to call me at xxx-xxx-xxxx. i'm 6'5" tall, caramel complextion, a full beard, and a very, very nice package."
"Hello, I'm Jerry and I would say yes I'm gamed.
So it's up to you." HUH? Can someone translate for Mr. Eminem?
"you really know what you want thats good im an edukated proffessional and am also d/d free i do want to know someone first i like that your picture dosent really show to much beuty is one part of this butt personality is the thing that makes it last i need someone that simulates all of me not just part"
Simulates you? Is this where a mime appears and acts out how you'd have sex with a woman? Butt personality? Educated? Wow! LMAO!
"I love to give oral. Let me eat you up."
"I would love to masturbate for you until this load explodes"
"do you like french style?
if yes lemme know!
hope to see you soon"
"love to show myself off to 1 or more girls
have lots of pre-cum ( tastes great) and can cum for you if you want.I am into the same shit as you, we think alike on sex.
I am married but need to play. Always horny we are a good match, please consider at least meeting." It tastes great, but is it less filling?
"all you have to do is let me know what you want.if you pass me up i guess you would never know how good it could have been."
"I get really turned on knowing Im pleasing who Im with, love giving oral: the body twitched, increased breathing, nostril flare, involuntary hip movments " OMG! Are you having a seizure because you got overexcited?
WHAT U SAY IF I SAY THAT I AM A DOCTOR AND WANT TO MAKE SOME GIRL FRIEND.
U ARE RIGHT IT IS VERY HARD TO FIND SINCERE PERSON.
I AM UPTO SOME ONE WHO IS NOT ROUGH BUT DESCENT PERSONALITY. SO, WHAT U SAY IF WE CAN GO OUT AND FIND MORE ABOUT EACH OTHER.
"i'm a good man (so they say), atheltic, tall sexy man.
love sex of all kind. i think that to enjoy sex, you will need to let go, loosen up. sex needs to be dirty for us to really enjoy it. I find that having sex with a person I've just met is the most exciting. Recently my engagement broke up, because of my "Hobbies." so, we'll need to keep it discreet. If you are up to it, send me a note.
one more thing i spend moeny on girls and want to get something back.
In the bedroom(or wherever) i tend to experimental all kind of thing, depending on the partner.
i am college graduate and making good living."
I have a hard time believing that this guy is a college grad because of his poor grammar and needing to keep things discrete despite his recent break-up.
"haey,my name is mister red, and i want to fuck"
"i wanna fuk ur wite pusy"
"i would like to meet you for drinks and make all of your turn ons come true, hot very hot guy here, you will be surprised by how hot"
"I'm totally single also.I go to Indy often,so if you get back with me and get to know me better,a visit would be no problem.Hope to hear from you." Sorry, but I don't live in Indiana.
"Hi! Maby you should try me out. I'm 5'8, dont drink or smoke and drug and d/d free I attend willow creek church and looking for a nice relationship with a lady like you! If intrested email me back"
Mentioning church when trying to get laid is just so wrong!
3/11/2005 1:08 am
That’s just sad! I suspect that many of those responders are just juveniles who lied about their age to put a profile on this site. It’s hard for me to believe that grown men would approach a lady like that. Then again, I’ve known my share of clueless men.|
3/11/2005 5:02 am
Are we that lame? Makes me want to put a bag over my head and call myself one of the "unknown gender" because a person who knows who he is just can't be responsible for some of that. (He really included a picture of himself in a diaper? The visions of where that was go is a little frightening!)|
3/11/2005 5:06 am
Your right. Damn funny stuff. LOL. My name is Allan(obviously). I've really enjoyed reading your blog. I live in NC and will probably never get to Chicago so I won't waste anymore of your time. Keep the entries comong.|
3/11/2005 6:19 am
Dear Lady, I just finished cleaning my guns, sharpening my machete and reading my Bible...wanna fuck ?|
3/11/2005 7:29 am
LMAO! Oh my God Mackey! LMAO! Thanks so much for the great belly laughs! This is just too funny. Between you and DCEbony I just keep cracking up. Good job girl!|
3/11/2005 7:55 am
LMAO! These remind me of some of the one's I've received too. Thanks for posting...at least I know I'm not alone!|
3/11/2005 10:22 am
LMAO. We could fill volumes and volumes with this stuff, couldn't we ladies? I love 'em. The grammar and spelling are what really get me in some of the e-mails and profiles. Like your 'edukated' man, that's a hoot! Thanks for the laughs!|
3/11/2005 11:58 am
Just one day's messages? Holy crap!|
3/11/2005 12:55 pm
Her blogs have been great.. thanks for bringing this all together.|
3/11/2005 12:58 pm
How wonderful! That is what my in-box looks like also! It is funny!!! The biggest kicker....These guys wonder why no one writes them back! *LOL*|
Wishing you the best of luck, and keep on writing.
3/22/2006 2:39 pm
You are too funny... hmm and making them funny is far more than they deserve. |
Myself, eye M look 4 a wohman like ewe! I is vary inteligant Docter - U will like my lagre mansword. Most women think my squirting love wand is soooo hot and soo big. I will lic ewe till my tung is numb an swollen to the size of Shak's sneaker. My most erotice tyme: I was very drumpk and spent one sexfilled end glorious night with a female Kangaroo... but she never called me back : (
Although... I have seen my share of these guys sisters, moms, greatgrandma, and great great great great grandmas...