You found WHAT?  

MWWwantsmore 51F
1594 posts
3/19/2006 9:03 am

Last Read:
4/23/2006 3:22 pm

You found WHAT?

OK, so here I am doing my weekly household tasks. I am cleaning the downstairs bathroom, sweeping the floor. What did I sweep up? A joint!

Let me start by saying that my "other half" smokes it on a daily basis (which I DO NOT approve of) He does it without hiding it, not necessarily in front of the kids. My daughter is aware of it {shes 18} and she is totally against it. My son, who is almost 15, has to know also. I mean it has a distinctive smell and no one in the house smokes cigarettes. He also just leaves his "stash" in a drawer in his TV room and all the other paraphernalia is nearby.

OK so I bring it to my "other half" and he says, "Well if its mine, then it had to have been there for at least a month" Yeah like I only clean the bathroom once a month.

So now the dilemma! I feel that he should talk to my son about it. But if he does he will probably blow it off. Since he smokes on a daily basis, how can he tell my son it is wrong.

So how am I supposed to raise my kids to obey the law and stay away from drugs when their own father doesn't?

mycin62 54F

3/19/2006 12:03 pm

You do have a dilemma. First off, I would NOT have your husband talk to your son, since he'll just blow if off, like you said. It's the typical situation of do as I say, but not as I do. I think that you need ot discuss this with your son and tell him that it's wrong and just because his father does it, doesn't mean he can too. Your son is old enough to know between right and wrong and he knows it's wrong. But, I'm sure he feels it's ok because his dad does it. You may consider having your daughter talk him, since she's more of a peer, and it's not a parent coming at him.

Second, I would have a talk with your husband about being more descreet with his recreational smoking and about locking up his stash so your son doesn't have access to it.

Good luck,

MWWwantsmore replies on 3/19/2006 4:33 pm:
Thanks Cin, my daughter is away till Sat so not sure if I should wait. I also told my hubby that if he doesnt lock it up I am throwing it out!!!!!!!!!

kyplowboy22 61M

3/19/2006 12:39 pm

Have your daughter go to dad and tell him to stop acting like the fifteen year old.

MWWwantsmore replies on 3/19/2006 4:35 pm:
OH believe me she has talked to him and told him how she feels.

rm_android1960a 56M
428 posts
3/19/2006 1:16 pm

I agree that Your husband is not the person to talk to your son. The way he blew of the doopy on the bathroom floor it sounds like he does not care if it was his or your sons. Your husband talking to him would be as effective of a deterrent as telling him to go ahead and smoke the shit. You are going to have to clean up another one of hubbies messes. I do not know exactly were to look but you should go on the Internet and find some ammo to back you up on this.

Also I agree with every thing mycin62 said. If your son and daughter get along a little peer influence my help some. FUCK them drugs!

MWWwantsmore replies on 3/19/2006 4:38 pm:
My issue is with my husband and his views on this. He has this "do as I say, not as I do" attitude. I just am not sure how to approach my son on this.

southrnpeach333 50F

3/19/2006 2:19 pm

    Quoting kyplowboy22:
    Have your daughter go to dad and tell him to stop acting like the fifteen year old.
I agree, couldn't have said it better myself.

MWWwantsmore replies on 3/20/2006 4:51 am:

simplyfucks 105M

3/19/2006 4:24 pm

I’m an addict, once an addict always an addict. I’ve been clean for nearly 25 years now. The mean Green was my main stay. I built up an immunity to it, smoked for the taste more then the high. I will say this if a person will smoke green in front of kids they would have no problem doing other drugs in front of them. I lived for drugs at one time. I have children and I’m here to tell you that there is nothing that would make me ever do drugs in front of them. I’m sorry to say this but drugs and alcohol influence ones ability to love others. I would never want my children to use drugs so I would never use them in front of them. Guess none of us want our kids to make the same mistakes we made or make. Some of us even care enough to go out of our way to be the best example possible. Good luck sweetheart. S.F.

MWWwantsmore replies on 3/20/2006 4:52 am:
Good for you for cleaning up! Maybe hubby needs a reality check and should get caught with it sometime by the cops!

CamCumWithMe 59M

3/19/2006 6:48 pm

Does your local police have one of those D.A.R.E. programs? Maybe you could get together with some other parents and the school and invite one of the cops over to the school for a presentation. In spite of the television ads on the subject ("Talk to your kids") kids don't always listen to parents. Kids do, more often than not, listen to the cops!

MWWwantsmore replies on 3/20/2006 4:48 am:
Thanks, son has already been through the DARE program, but like I said kids do things by their parents example and their dad sets a lot of bad examples. But I am working on it!

ShavenStud05 43M

3/20/2006 2:12 am

That is one heck of a pickle to be in. I see some good advice has already been given. Let us know how it turns out.

MWWwantsmore replies on 3/20/2006 4:49 am:
Thanks, I will!

BrightonCrazee 47M

3/20/2006 3:48 am

Tricky one but kids are normally quite good at straight talking.
The secret is not to lecture. Take him out one day on the premise of going to the mall or something and go instead to a rehab centre or halfway house for homeless and have him talk to a couple of them. Most of these people end up in their state due to drink or drugs. I was in the police in England for twenty years and a lot of these people are quite interesting however their stories are normally sad. Often they are only too happy to tell someone how it was never always this way!

It seems that the root of your problem here is really you and your husband. Perhaps it is that that requires looking at and changing!

I wish you luck as these things are never easy!brightoncrazee

MWWwantsmore replies on 3/20/2006 4:51 am:
The thing is I have talked to my kids about drugs and things, have had friends/relatives die from drugs. They are aware of the dangers, its just hard when their dad has a different opinion on it.

rm_witch501 60M
1 post
3/20/2006 2:22 pm

Personally I would inform the police and have him arrested. This would get the message across that you will not tolerate drugs in the home or in front of your children.

MWWwantsmore replies on 3/21/2006 10:58 am:
That is a tough decision to make, if he does get arrested, he could lose his job

NSAAddict 42F

3/20/2006 4:20 pm

That is a dilemma MWW, I'd tell your hubby to straighten the fuck up lol. Let us know how you handle it, and good luck!

rm_android1960a 56M
428 posts
3/21/2006 8:37 am

After some more thought on this maybe some tough love is what your husband needs. While my fowling suggestion could be like opening Pandora’s box and you my want to consult a lawyer first. Have the basterd busted while he is smoking in front of your son. That would leave a lasting impression on both of them as to how important this is.

MWWwantsmore 51F

3/21/2006 11:24 am

Thanks for all the advice guys I am still mulling over talking to my son, already gave hubby the riot act and told him if he doesnt lock it up I am tossing it! He doesnt smoke directly in front of the kids but they still know about it. My daughter is actually away until Sat so cant have her talk to him.

I will figure something out and thanks again for all the advice

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