Children  

MWWwantsmore 51F
1594 posts
5/30/2006 4:43 am

Last Read:
5/31/2006 4:15 am

Children

WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)

To those of us who have children in our lives,
whether they are our own,
grandchildren,
nieces,
nephews,
or students...
here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control,
you can take comfort from the thought that
even God's omnipotence did not extend
to His own children.


After creating heaven and earth,
God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was
"DON'T !"

"Don't what ?"
Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit."
God said.

"Forbidden fruit ?
We have forbidden fruit?
Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit !"

"No Way ! "

"Yes way ! "

"Do NOT eat the fruit ! "
said God.

"Why ? "

"Because I am your Father and I said so ! "

God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped
creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked !

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit ? "
God asked.

"Uh huh,"
Adam replied.

"Then why did you ? "
said the Father.

"I don't know,"
said Eve.

"She started it ! "
Adam said.

"Did not ! "

"Did too ! "

"DID NOT ! "

Having had it with the two of them,
God's punishment was that Adam and Eve
should have children of their own.

Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.


BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY !

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it,
don't be hard on yourself.
If God had trouble raising children,
what makes you think it would be
a piece of cake for you ?


THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

1. You spend the first two years of their life
teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend
the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you.
In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties
is to remind yourself that there are children
more awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.



ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

Be nice to your kids.
They will choose your
nursing home one day.


AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION
AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
DO WHAT IT SAYS
ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN"
AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!



Phuc_Buddy 46M

5/30/2006 6:16 am

Thank you sooo much. I really needed this today of all mornings!


MWWwantsmore replies on 5/30/2006 5:20 pm:
So why such a bad weekend?

RockPebble 69M
2487 posts
5/30/2006 12:57 pm

Insanity is hereditary, you get it from your children!

How did things go at the doctor's?
XOXO


MWWwantsmore replies on 5/30/2006 5:19 pm:
That one is true too. Also I have a t-shirt that says..

I have a sexually transmitted disease......Children

I am working till the day before surgery ! Doc said it wouldnt make much difference

digdug41 49M

5/30/2006 4:33 pm

OMG thats so I have to copy and paste this gotta send this to a few people who aren't on the blogs hope you don't mind

roaming the cyber streets of blogland


MWWwantsmore replies on 5/30/2006 5:18 pm:
Its funny but sooo true! Feel free to share it

docdirk 47M

5/30/2006 5:38 pm

That's why I've always advocated sending them for a little spin in the dryer when they're bad!

Ah, Its you again, Your Angel Feathers and your Blood Stains...


MWWwantsmore replies on 5/31/2006 4:15 am:
LOL A spin in the dryer

Jeepidiot 42M

5/30/2006 8:25 pm

I know I can always count on you for a laugh.


MWWwantsmore replies on 5/31/2006 4:15 am:
Glad to help!

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