The truth about exercise, what doctors don't want you to know !!!  

59 posts
8/11/2005 4:56 am

Last Read:
8/25/2011 12:42 pm

The truth about exercise, what doctors don't want you to know !!!

Subject: Health advice

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this

A: Your heart is good for only so many beats, and that's it... don't
waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
Take a nap.


Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay
and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more
than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good sourcof field grass
(green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your
recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled
wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get
even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain.
Bottoms up!


Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one
to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.


Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No


Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable
oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more
vegetables be bad for you?


Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.


Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO .... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!!
It's the best feel-good food around!


Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.


Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!


Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
about food and diets. And remember: "Life should NOT be a journey to
the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and
well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in
one hand - strawberries in the other - body thoroughly used up,
totally worn out, and screaming - WOO HOO! What a Ride!"

34andahalf4U 49M/44F

9/30/2005 10:21 am

I can't believe noone stopped by just to laugh with you...this was hillarious. Keep 'em commin'.

44 posts
9/30/2005 4:48 pm

Thank you for leaving comments, I appreciate it i'm going to reward myself with a few lap dances.

44 posts
12/22/2005 2:19 am

    Quoting rm_SSasha6905:
    Wow that took some time and effort, but well worth it..That has got to be one of the top 3 funniest blogs of all time..
thanks for the compliment, i'll add another lap dance to the request list.

44 posts
12/22/2005 2:20 am

    Quoting rm_luvgame3:
    Hey! Instead of rewarding yourself with a few lap dances, why don't you reward me with one for laughing so hard! Then my lips could reward you for the dance
i can do that as long as you have a lot of dollars to stuff into my boxers

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