With all due FUCKING respect...  

LustyTaurus 48M  
12038 posts
3/21/2006 7:20 pm

Last Read:
7/20/2006 6:40 am

With all due FUCKING respect...


...DON'T PATRONIZE ME!!

Since last week, I've been faced with dealing with the after effects of my brother's accident, on top of regular obligations of work and family.

He is awake and lucid, in that he knows everybody and other than being sore, groggy and confused he could be a lot worse.

However, he cannot stand or walk on his own because his motor functions, particularly balance, is way out of wack. Not to mention having trouble following a conversation and general difficulty in remembering names and words in general. It's like his vocabulary has been cut in half. These are all fairly predictable results from severe head trauma.

Here is the thing that is really PISSING ME OFF and causing stress for everyone. The Doctor in charge is an arrogant, condescending, apathetic, narcissistic waste of skin, who acts like he's not accountable to anyone for anything.

I'm not a doctor, and the nurses and other care workers have been fantastic, but I do know some things about physiology. I also can read and learn, and I can ask questions. I am also the one the rest of the family is entrusting to get and deliver accurate information, for their comfort, and to be satisfied he is being PROPERLY cared for.

I don't need to like the guy if he can help my brother recover, but when you blow me off like a drunken leprous beggar...THERE'S GOING TO BE A FUCKING PROBLEM!!

I guess he doesn't know that my youngest nephew asked if I would be his Dad, if his Dad died.

I guess he doesnít know that an arrogant Doctor just like him misdiagnosed a tumor as a migraine headache, and I lost a very dear friend 10 years ago.

I guess he doesnít know my sister-in-law has not been able to eat since the accident.

I guess he just doesnít give a flying fuck about any of it.

I do not know what Iím going to do about this particular situation, but I WILL NOT allow a doctorís errant ego interfere with the care of my brother and best friend.

Thanks for being here with me, for all your thoughts and prayers and allowing me a place to vent.


. LUSTYTAURUS

meerkittykat 42F

3/21/2006 7:46 pm

There are some fantastic doctors out there....

Then there are some that think loads of book knowledge is a worthwhile substitute for basic interpersonal skills.


If worse comes to worse, you and your family are actually within your rights to request another physician, and you can also approach the Chief of Staff to draw a complaint.

Sometimes doctors forget..if not for our frail human condition, they'd just be accountants.

Continued luck and hope in your brother's recovery. Will be slow..but small steps=miles of progress.

Cheers


LustyTaurus replies on 3/24/2006 6:50 pm:
It's just frustrating b/c I think this Doc is capable, and I want and need to know what he's doing and how.

Thanks for your advice and support.

southrnpeach333 50F

3/21/2006 7:50 pm

I am glad to hear your brother is making some progress. And I would go over the doc's head or confront him. maybe he has forgotten that his patients and their families are human not machines or a sum total of working parts, that they have a level of intelligence comprabable to their own.


LustyTaurus replies on 3/24/2006 6:51 pm:
thanks a million southrn...I'm definately not going to let this ride.

PassionKisses4Me 44F

3/21/2006 7:51 pm

With tears in my eyes, hugs to you sweetie.

I so understand the whole doctor thing...my mother has been sick for the past 10 years...she has had triple by pass, kidney failure, been on dialysis for 3 years and 2 years ago she got a kidney transplant...and through all her in and out of the hospital we have dealt with asshole doctors too....at the time you need them the most too...sucks bad.

My thoughts are still with you baby...my prayers too...and vent all you want...I and every one else so understands the need for it.


Becky

~Becky~


LustyTaurus replies on 3/24/2006 6:54 pm:
I'm so sorry to hear about your mom Becky...my situation doesn't seem nearly that intense...but it feels that way...and asshole doctors don't help...big hug to you.

sweetSinn2690
2943 posts
3/21/2006 8:00 pm

Fuck him...I would get another Dr...he sounds like he does not need to be one. The nurses of the world are the "Angels". I think it's great that you are doing the very best for your brother...and don't give up! My kids Dad was in a very traumatic accident also when he was younger and in the military. Head and spine injury, lost all of his motor skills, had to learn to walk and talk all over again. But with the intensive therapy they have he made it through, and regained most everything back, so it can be done! So never give up hope...My Prayers are still with all of you...xo
Stay Strong(as most Taurus's do)


Oh WHATEVER BITCHES!


LustyTaurus replies on 3/24/2006 6:55 pm:
Sweet that is good advice...and I'm very sorry to hear about the father of your children, thanks for the prayers.

MaggiesWishes 60F

3/21/2006 8:07 pm

Prayers are with you, Lusty.

warm wishes


LustyTaurus replies on 3/24/2006 6:56 pm:
Thank you very much Maggie

saddletrampsk 54F

3/21/2006 8:14 pm

I agree with meer..you could request another doctor..but my favorite game to play with rude ppl is to be so sickly sweet to them that contract diabetes..hehehe..this was a trick I learned at my first airline job as a flight attendant..the ruder the passenger was the sweeter I was until it drove them insane and I could hide in the galley snickering..

Yes..most doctors are good ppl but you run into the odd asshole..glad your brother is making progress sweety..faith, hope and love..


LustyTaurus replies on 3/24/2006 6:58 pm:
That's just it Saddle, he isn't rude in the traditional sense..just arrogant and condescending...you met me...how well do you think behavior like that would go over...lol. Thanks again so much for your support.

rm_DarknStar 54F
2823 posts
3/21/2006 8:19 pm

Lusty....VENT! all you want to, it does a body good! We are here for you and your brother and the rest of the family too! Sorry your doctor is not doing what you think he should be doing or telling you. But do they ever? Good Luck and hang in there....will be here for the next report in........HUGS


LustyTaurus replies on 3/24/2006 6:59 pm:
Hey Darknstar...thanks for your faithful interest and support..it's nice to know people like you care so much.

rm_AnOddGirl 57F
3469 posts
3/21/2006 9:17 pm

Get a second opinion. It may come out of the family monies but well worth it. Tell this doctor you are going to do that. Also report him to the Chief of Medicine/Surgeryi if you think it worth while. Call the hospital social worker, get the patient advocate or omsbudman. Call his regular medical doctor.
Neurological injuries can be repaired with the right therapies, techniques. You need a head trauma specialist even in a recovery phase.
Get them to give you a PLAN OF ACTION. ASK every question you need to even if you think its dumb. If he double talks ask him to Dummy down and speak English.
KEEP NOTES on everything, every question asked/answered, name of every doctor that visits and his specialty - get a book.

Fight, because your brother can't.

Hang Tough!



Odds


LustyTaurus replies on 3/24/2006 7:02 pm:
Hey AnOdd...I took your advice, and when I stopped him in mid sentance once and made him repeat it b/c I was taking notes...well he hadn't noticed until I forced the issue...his attitude changed completely!! Great advice and thanks so much.

clevergirl4U 58F

3/21/2006 10:53 pm

Unfortunately, you have a battle on your hands at a time when you are already worn out. In a situation like this you can feel pretty powerless, especially when the doctor has a god-complex and won't make the time or effort to communicate. But you are your brother's advocate and have to fight on his behalf. LOTS of Sound practical advice from others here. You are in my prayers.


LustyTaurus replies on 3/24/2006 7:04 pm:
Thanks clever...I had no idea the support and advice from you guys would mean so much, and I appreciate you stopping by to voice your's.

HOTNBOTHERED0414 46F

3/21/2006 11:12 pm

Darlin, I me being a caregiver, and working with doctors every day, and knowing the system, you can get another doctor.And tell the asshole to his face exactly why your doing it. He may need a slap in the face to get back to reality!
I am glad to here about your brothers progress, and you will be amazed once he gets into physical therapy. It is all going to be ok! I am here if ya need to talk!


LustyTaurus replies on 3/24/2006 7:06 pm:
HNB...Doctors in this specialty are a bit hard to come by here, and although he is arrogant etc, I believe he is capable...I've taken the advice some other folks posted, like visibly taking notes, and its been effective...thanks so much for your support.

HBowt2 59F

3/21/2006 11:35 pm

Your brother is lucky to have someone like you to watch for him lusty....try looking this doctor in the face and saying 'i'ts not OK to speak to me like that' and explain why.....if he doesn't get it...ditch him.....
his manner may be a bad habit....but it's not one you want to keep around..


LustyTaurus replies on 3/24/2006 7:07 pm:
HB...I'd so like to walk into a room with you and the Doctor and me. He'd get an attitude adjustment real quick...thanks for your support.

ohsodelicious 57F
1922 posts
3/21/2006 11:37 pm

Lusty I'm so glad to hear that your brother is doing better. It is unfortunate that you have had to encounter a doctor with an { arrogant/self-centered} I am ''GOD'' complex'...with no 'bedside manner' to boot! He must have failed his class in 'appropriate' bedside manner!! What is so unfortunate...with a lot of doctors {medical professionals} is that they become desensitize {or have never been sensitive}...and cannot/do not understand the concept of: empathy, compassion, undying love, strength, unwillingness to accept defeat, loss, grief, loyalty...Sorry, I'm on a 'tangent'...I 'Pray' for 'your brothers' continued improvement...My Prays are with you!

Hugs...OhSo{=}


LustyTaurus replies on 3/24/2006 7:08 pm:
ohso...thanks from the bottom of my heart for your prayers and support.

catseyes23 61F

3/22/2006 12:40 am

There are some doctors that really care about their patients, Lusty. Then again, there are the others that do not have that bedside manner. It is nice to hear that your brother is now awake and lucid.

Cats...


LustyTaurus replies on 3/24/2006 7:10 pm:
cats...you're right and I don't want to impede his work, as I believe he is a capable Doctor. Thanks for your support.

RevJoseyWales 69M/66F
14393 posts
3/22/2006 5:36 am

Welcome to the world of modern day medical care. I spent over 20 years in the profession (military and civilian) and I find more and more MD's with this "I am God" attitude. Straighten him out, or find a new Doc. There are plenty of good ones out there. We are so glad that your brother is coming around, and we will continue to ask the Gods to watch over him until he is fully recovered. Perhaps now you and you family can get some rest. We are sure you need it.
Blessed be. Joe & Carol

"McVeigh had the right idea, wrong address."

"This ain't Dodge City, and you ain't Bill Hickok."


LustyTaurus replies on 3/24/2006 7:15 pm:
Joe & carol...I agree %100...It's comforting hearing things from folks with front line experience. Thanks for your thoughts, prayers and support.

Fox4aKnight1 43F

3/22/2006 5:57 am

hugssssss tarus ..........I am with you on this ....had to deal with too many of them in my life.


LustyTaurus replies on 3/24/2006 7:16 pm:
Fox...I'm sorry to hear about those challenges, it could not have been pleasant...thanks for the hugs and support.

rm_cru1972 44M
4407 posts
3/22/2006 3:25 pm

Get rid of him, and tellhim to his face the same reasons you told us. Vent all you want there are some great ppl here that can help.
I'm praying for your brother, and whole family, still.


LustyTaurus replies on 3/24/2006 7:17 pm:
cru...you're a rock man, thanks for your prayers, and I hope you are doing well too...

Tala4u2 54M  
2961 posts
3/22/2006 4:57 pm

Hmmm Tala was in a coma after an MVA accident 20 yrs ago. Hence I can say I know how your brother feels at the minute. As for you mate, relax and try to keep as cool as possible this is the problem of the here and now it is not an instant fix problem. To have this same urgency and desire for knowledge is more important in 6 months time than it is right now for your brother. Crap medical advice and facilities resulted in me losing ten years of my life. LMAO I did have fun though starting again. Without doubt the most confusing post I have ever written too many thoughts activated by your brother's accident. Now I have got Brain ache LoL

Tala, Wizard of The Kingdom of BooBoBia, DEITY,
PERVlander


LustyTaurus replies on 3/24/2006 7:18 pm:
Tala...that just sucks man...I am proud to know you after all you've battled through, and I'll remember this advice 6 months from now.

Kaliedascope61 41M
4084 posts
3/22/2006 5:20 pm

Same thing happened when my brother was in the hosipital after an accident, he has never been the same person since. He lives a happy productive life, but he was a completly different type of person before he was hurt.


LustyTaurus replies on 3/24/2006 7:20 pm:
Kalied...I hope that's not the case with my bro...time will tell...sorry to hear about you and yours...thanks for your support.

norprin5 55M

3/22/2006 7:37 pm

*sits down beside LT with 18 Pilseners*

good news on your bro's progress, my friend

remember to take care of yourself, right?

King Nor XVIII


LustyTaurus replies on 3/24/2006 7:21 pm:
Damn you know what I really need Norprin...good advice and thanks for the beers...

kelly402005 52F

3/22/2006 8:32 pm

PLEASE READ THIS..........

YOU CAN "FIRE" A DR. ... have your sister-in-law do it...

You know, after reading your post, I DON'T WANT TO READ ANYONE'S COMMENTS....... How can I say this without sounding totally fucking stupid?...........

Look, find the person "you trust", nurse..... whoever..... Get the real deal from them....
Tell them you want to, trust their advise, look at what they say as.... it's something you can count on....
Tell them, "I just want to know. Period"...... "It won't be mentioned again. Period." .......

Most of the Drs. I work with, I wouldn't trust them with me, let alone a family member......
Gosh, man, I wish I had some pull where you where you are. I'd come there and look at labs, drs. notes........ etc. Drs. can be total fucking assholes, and think, honestly "they are gods". I have worked with enough Drs. in enough fields to know that for a fact...
Know this, most patients have more than one Dr. assigned to their case.

"You can fire a Dr."

It's your right to stand up for your brother.

I did it for my brother....... Man, I wish the hell I could do it for you...... I'd do it in a heartbeat. I know how you feel.....

~~My heart is breaking for you
kel


LustyTaurus replies on 3/24/2006 7:22 pm:
Kelly...I took your advice..asked around and and made apoint of telling asshole dr about all of it...seems to have corrected a lot of attitude...thanks for your advice and support.

caressmewell 53F

3/22/2006 9:11 pm

You should not only confront this Dr but get another to handle your brothers care. You and your family have enough stress, there is no need to have to deal with a nasty doctor. Good luck hun..you are all in my thoughts and prayers.


LustyTaurus replies on 3/24/2006 7:23 pm:
Thanks caress...your support means the world to me.

Efilnikufesin69 47M

3/22/2006 11:18 pm

You got my prayers and support!


LustyTaurus replies on 3/24/2006 7:25 pm:
Thanks efil...I know it'll help...thanks also for taking the time to tell me.

norprin5 55M

3/23/2006 6:51 am

you've been TAGGED!

Tagged Kitties! Don't forget to Spay and Neuter!

King Nor XVIII


RoyalPurpleRose 52F

3/23/2006 8:13 am

Taurus ... you and your family are in my prayers. I've 'Been there, Done that' ... only I was the one in the bed. Luckily, my family did not have an arrogant SOB of a doctor to deal with. From my perspective (because I still have trouble remembering words), do not try to put words into his mouth. My family does this, when I'm struggling to remember the word. Say for instance I want the phone book ... I can see it in my mind ... but just can't find the word to say. It's frustrating for the family I know. But it pisses me off when they start trying to guess what I mean. Or even worse, just assuming that they already know what I'm going to say. I HATE that.

Yeah .. the balance thing may last quite a while too. Find a good rehab hospital. I still have balance problems sometimes. And if the doctor keeps being an ass ... pull him to the side ... in a calm reasonable voice tell him .... 'If you keep being so damn condescending and rude, I will issue a detailed complaint to the hospital board and to the state medical board and to the largest local newspaper. So you might want to brush up on your bedside manner and quit treating me like I don't have a brain.' Good Luck to all of you.

~Kisses, RPR


LustyTaurus replies on 3/24/2006 7:26 pm:
Royal...thanks for sharing... I need information like that...I am so incredibly sorry to hear all that you endured and still deal with...my prayers and thoughts are with you.

saddletrampsk 54F

3/23/2006 10:00 am

You've been tagged see my post [post 281748]

You must now list 6 weird things about you and then "tag" 6 other bloggers so they can do the same..

HAHAHA double tagged..that fucking norprin beat me here..


dasher121 36M

3/23/2006 10:54 am

yep, delt with the same kind of assbags with my grandmother when she had cancer. They are just like any other person really, as far as personality goes. Some are cheerful and love their job, and will answer any and all questions with the utter most patience. And others just want to be left alone so they can get on with their work.

Obviously, the ones who take time out to talk and show some bit of comfort are the ones who we want. Unfortunately, we cant always get them.


LustyTaurus replies on 3/24/2006 7:27 pm:
dasher...thanks for sharing and I'm sorry you had to deal with the same crap from doctors..thanks for the support man.

shar1 55F
606 posts
3/23/2006 3:04 pm

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family .


LustyTaurus replies on 3/24/2006 7:28 pm:
shar...thanks so much, your thoughts and prayers are much appreciated.

rm_cru1972 44M
4407 posts
3/23/2006 3:43 pm

You Have Been Tagged Try to have fun with this. Can't wait to see what you come up with, please go to Yikies I've been tagged AGAIN to view mine. Go to Tagged Kitties! Don't forget to Spay and Neuter! for details


tillerbabe 56F

3/23/2006 5:48 pm

You know... sometimes people forget how the FUC they're supposed to act and why the FUC they get paid to do what they do. I'm so sorry, I've seen much of the same since my brother's fiance's head injury - same shit different hospital!!!

Thinking about you and your brother K? If you need to talk email me...I have a lot of stuff on head injuries, and I promise I'll be kind. {=}


LustyTaurus replies on 3/24/2006 7:29 pm:
Tiller...thanks for sharing, and I'm so sorry for the crap you had to deal with.

rm_goddess1946 106F
13518 posts
3/23/2006 10:11 pm

sending you Peace ~~~~~~~~ in the midst of all of this....

(((((and a warm hug if you need one)))))

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...
{=}


LustyTaurus replies on 3/24/2006 7:30 pm:
Hey goddess...thanks for the hugs and the well wish...I could use some peace right now.

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