SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYBODY...#3  

LustyTaurus 48M  
12038 posts
3/13/2006 12:16 am

Last Read:
12/5/2010 5:42 pm

SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYBODY...#3

Quiet Day In the Woods?

saintlianna[blog saintlianna] and norprin5norprin5 are out in the woods hunting when suddenly norprin5 grabs his chest and falls to the ground. norprin5 doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. [blog saintlianna] whips out her cell phone and calls 911.
She gasps to the operator freelove999[blog freelove999],

"Nobody! Nada! Nyet! No one within a hundred mile radius! …and I think norprin5 is dead! What should I do?"

[blog freelove999], in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy and follow my instructions. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence...... and then gun shots are heard…bang, bang, bang.

[blog saintlianna] comes back on the line, "Okay, now what?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ghetto Spelling Bee

mrnuttz05 mrnuttz05 was selected for a special “Ghetto Spelling Test”. As a 38 year old 10th grader, he must use each word in a sentence:

1--HOTEL --I gave my girlfriend hotnbothered0414 [blog hotnbothered0414] crabs, and the ho tel everybody!!!

2--IRAQ-- When we got to the pool hall I tol' my uncle digdug41 digdug41, Iraq,..you break.

3--INCOME-- I just got in bed wif
libgemoh libgemoh and in come BuxomFrauBuxomFrau

4--OMELETTE-- I should pop yo ass fo what you jus did
lustytaurus, but omelette dis one slide.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ORAL SEX

darknstar[blog darknstar] was in a coma. She had been in it for months.
Nurses freetime648freetime648 and silverbreeze2 were in her room giving her a bed bath.
While washing [blog darknstar]‘s private area nurses silverbreeze2and freetime648 noticed there was a slight response on the monitor when they touched [blog darknstar]darknstar.

They tried again, and sure enough, there was a sizeable movement. They went to her husband xxxhandyman4u2 xxxhandyman4u2 and explained what happened, telling him, "As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma."

xxxhandyman4u2 was skeptical, but freetime648 and silverbreeze2 assured him that they'd close the curtains for privacy.

xxxhandyman4u2 finally agreed and went into [blog darknstar] room.
After a few minutes, [blog darknstar]'s monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate.

freetime648 and silverbreeze2 ran back into the room. "What happened?," they cried!!

xxxhandyman4u2 said, "I'm not sure; maybe she choked."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

goddess1946 [blog goddess1946] and purrykitty2[blog purrykitty2] were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and snack foods.
As they were looking at the display case,
tala4u2 came out from behind the counter.

“Do you need any help?” tala4u2 asked?

They replied, "No, we’re just looking at your nuts."

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

[photo ttigeratty] ttigeratty married

[photo saddletrampsk] saddletrampsk from Saskatchewan. He boasted to his friends [photo magnet4u22][blog magnet4u22] and [photo keithcancook]keithcancook that he would see to it that saddletrampsk kept the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table.
ttigeratty said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye.
Enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher, and telephone a landscaper.

Got to love them Saskatchewan women!!!

[photo lustytaurus].
LUSTYTAURUS

Stay tuned for "Something To Offend Everybody…#4"

SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYBODY...#2
Something To Offend Everybody.
Things You WON'T See....In A Hallmark Card
Change the world


HOTNBOTHERED0414 46F

3/13/2006 1:11 am

Thats just wrong on so many levels!!!! Can ya get crabs if ya have no hair there? lmao


digdug41 49M

3/13/2006 10:58 am

hey taurus thanks for the inclusion now I would like you to do something for me one of our fellow bloggers has gotten some life altering news and she could use all of our support would you go and read[post 263884] and show her some love after all it is what makes the world go round oh yes and laughter too thanks man

roaming the cyber streets of blogland


rm_DarknStar 54F
2823 posts
3/13/2006 9:40 pm

OMG.....ROFLMAO......or maybe Im just CHOKING!!!......

A toast to YOU!....oops thats coma toast...


xxxhandyman4u2 55M

3/14/2006 5:14 am

ROTFLMAO


saddletrampsk 54F

3/14/2006 5:26 pm

gotta love sask men..


rm_Kissmystuff 61F
1435 posts
3/14/2006 6:32 pm

Didn't offend me...although that picture at the beginning of the post is pretty scary.

kiss

Kiss


Tala4u2 54M  
2961 posts
3/14/2006 10:41 pm

Wearing undies on my head is so cooling for my nuts in summer. LMAO

Tala, Wizard of The Kingdom of BooBoBia, DEITY,
PERVlander


norprin5 55M

3/15/2006 6:59 am

oh, that's cold! kill me before i get any! nice, real nice

King Nor XVIII


rm_FreeLove999 46F
16127 posts
3/15/2006 7:06 am

so confused... me a phone operator? me calm? the only time i am calm is when i'm too depressed to give a shit...

you have some weird ideas



[blog freelove999]


rm_magnet4u22 49F
18406 posts
3/15/2006 8:43 am

Tiger can cook????



I


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/15/2006 4:18 pm

    Quoting HOTNBOTHERED0414:
    Thats just wrong on so many levels!!!! Can ya get crabs if ya have no hair there? lmao
Hey HNB...this was b/f you started shaving I guess...you think I make this stuff up!?!??...


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/15/2006 4:19 pm

    Quoting digdug41:
    hey taurus thanks for the inclusion now I would like you to do something for me one of our fellow bloggers has gotten some life altering news and she could use all of our support would you go and read[post 263884] and show her some love after all it is what makes the world go round oh yes and laughter too thanks man
Hey Dig...thanks for the heads up...that's some tough stuff she's going through...and thanks for poppin by too...


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/15/2006 4:20 pm

    Quoting rm_DarknStar:
    OMG.....ROFLMAO......or maybe Im just CHOKING!!!......

    A toast to YOU!....oops thats coma toast...
Dark...lol..thanks, glad you liked it...can I get you a glass of water..


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/15/2006 4:21 pm

Hey Handyman...my favorite Redneck...glad you liked...


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/15/2006 4:22 pm

Welll...you may be biased Saddle...but thanks...


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/15/2006 4:40 pm

    Quoting rm_Kissmystuff:
    Didn't offend me...although that picture at the beginning of the post is pretty scary.

    kiss
Kiss...don't mean to scare anyone...thanks for visiting!..


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/15/2006 4:46 pm

    Quoting Tala4u2:
    Wearing undies on my head is so cooling for my nuts in summer. LMAO
Tala..you're a sick puppy...I guess that's why i like you...


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/15/2006 4:49 pm

    Quoting norprin5:
    oh, that's cold! kill me before i get any! nice, real nice
Norprin...LMAO...


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/15/2006 4:53 pm

    Quoting rm_FreeLove999:
    so confused... me a phone operator? me calm? the only time i am calm is when i'm too depressed to give a shit...

    you have some weird ideas
Freelove..In times of crisis I think you would be the perfect contact...mind you Saint did end up shooting Norprin...


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/15/2006 4:57 pm

Magnet...I think it was a P & J sandwich...LMAO..


silverbreeze2 65F

3/15/2006 7:42 pm

I have laughed myself silly!!!!! LOL This was great!!!


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/15/2006 9:12 pm

    Quoting silverbreeze2:
    I have laughed myself silly!!!!! LOL This was great!!!
Silverbreeze!...I'm glad you enjoyed that...I get a big rush from making people laugh...

Thanks for stopping by...


freetime648 52F

3/18/2006 8:54 am

.......Ok that is almost untoppable...wait is that a word????


xx FREETIME648 xx


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/18/2006 9:29 am

    Quoting freetime648:
    .......Ok that is almost untoppable...wait is that a word????
Freetime...LOL...I'm so glad you had fun reading that...


papyrina 51F
21133 posts
3/19/2006 6:31 am

is so offended that i'm not in it


I'm a

and
i'm here to stay


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/19/2006 8:21 am

    Quoting papyrina:
    is so offended that i'm not in it
well papy...this is an ongoing mini series, so I'll see what I can do.


Become a member to create a blog