SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYBODY...#2  

LustyTaurus 48M  
12038 posts
3/10/2006 6:26 am

Last Read:
2/24/2012 5:07 am

SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYBODY...#2

A PERV’S PROPOSITION…

sweetneeds2sweetneeds2 was walking down the street when she was approached by expatbrit49 expatbrit49

expatbrit49 said "I want to have SEX with you right now! I'll drop $500
on the ground at your feet and in the time it takes for you to pick
it up I will have sex with you from behind and be on my way!"


sweetneeds2 thought it over and told expatbrit49 to wait a minute. She called tillerbabetillerbabe on her cell phone and told her about [blog expatbrit]’s proposition.

tillerbabe said, "When [blog expatbrit] drops the $500 on the
ground, I'm sure you can pick it up and run before he gets his pants
down. Call me back and tell me what happens".

An hour and a half later, sweetneeds2 called tillerbabe back.
"What happened?" the [blog tillerbabe asked?

sweetneeds2 said, "That Son Of A Bitch expatbrit49 had $500 in quarters!”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WOMEN!?!%

Driving to the office this morning on the Interstate, citizen_five[blog citizen_five] looked
over to left left and there was
impish_pixie in a brand new Cadillac
doing 65 mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.

[blog citizen_five] looked away for a couple seconds and when he looked back she was

halfway over in his lane, still working on that makeup!!!

As a man, [blog citizen_five] don't scare easily.

But impish_pixie scared him so much;

He dropped his electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of his other hand.

In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car, using his knees against the steering wheel,

it knocked his cell phone away from his ear which fell into the coffee between his legs,

splashed, and burned Big Jim and the Twins , ruined the damn phone,

soaked his trousers, AND disconnected an important call.

Damn women drivers ! !
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LIFE IS SO HARD

Life is so hard at times, yesterday,AtomicArtist [blog AtomicArtist] got Preparation “H” mixed up with
Poly-Grip.

Now, he talks like an asshole….BUT his gums don’t Itch!!
.

SHEEP

How does travelingintexastravelingintexas find his sheep in the tall grass?

VEERRRYYY Satisfying.

Coincidence??

aascrompnwent into a local tavern and took a seat at the bar next caressmewellcaressmewell and ordered a glass of champagne.

caressmewell perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!"

aascrompn turned to caressmewell and said, "What a coincidence. This is a special day for me; I'm celebrating."

"This is a special day for me, too, and I'm also celebrating!," says caressmewell
.
"What a coincidence," says aascrompn. They clinked glasses and he asked,
"What are you celebrating?"

"My husband and I have been trying to have a child," replied caressmewell. "Today, my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant!"

"What a coincidence," says aascrompn. "I'm a chicken farmer. For years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally fertile."

"That's great!" says caressmewell, "how did your chickens become fertile?"

"I switched cocks," said aascrompn.

"What a coincidence!!!!" replied caressmewell


MAKING LOVE

oldman1776 oldman1776says, "When I've a finished a making love to mzhunyhole[blog mzhunyhole] , I go down and gently tickle the back of her knees, she floats 6 inches above a the bed in ecstasy."

kyplowboy22 kyplowboy22 replies. "That’s nothing. When Ah've finished making love with GoddessOfTheDawnGoddessOfTheDawn , Ah kiss all the way down her body, and then I lickthe soles of her feet with my tongue, and she floats 12 inches above the bed in pure ecstasy."

kaliedascope61 Kaliedascope61 says, "That ain’t nothing. When I've finished porkin’ catseyes23 catseyes23 , I get out of bed, walk over to the window and wipe my weiner on the curtains. She hits the freakin' ceiling!!"

STAY TUNED FOR “Something To Offend Everyone #3”

. LUSTYTAURUS

IF…big if…LOL…you enjoy my feeble attempts at humor…see also:
SEX ....IN AN AIRPLANE!?!?!?
Things You WON'T See....In A Hallmark Card
Something To Offend Everybody.
Change the world


saddletrampsk 54F

3/10/2006 6:35 am


Lusty you are too much sweety..


PassionKisses4Me 44F

3/10/2006 5:50 pm

LMAO....that was so funny sweetie...thanks for sharing

Becky

~Becky~


scorpmail66 50M
260 posts
3/10/2006 6:30 pm

very good cant wait 4 the next posting


catseyes23 61F

3/10/2006 6:58 pm

That was hilarious!

Cats...


keithcancook 60M
17841 posts
3/10/2006 9:55 pm

LMAO! Very clever post, mingling the old with the new. Well done, LT.

Blog On!


HOTNBOTHERED0414 46F

3/10/2006 10:22 pm

Try this funny post..... [post 265228]


Kaliedascope61 41M
4084 posts
3/10/2006 10:38 pm

hahahahaha

I do that to! works everytime right cats?


kyplowboy22 61M

3/10/2006 11:06 pm

roflmao...funny stuff. Later

kpb


tillerbabe 56F

3/11/2006 12:31 am

I don't "get it" Excellent! {=}


AtomicArtist0 45M
6015 posts
3/11/2006 1:05 am

it doesn't take preperation H to get me to talk like an asshole.


HBowt2 59F

3/11/2006 2:48 am

Think you've finally found your blog talent......


expatbrit49 62M

3/11/2006 3:45 am

ROFL, too good and too funny

Thank You for Your Time and Attention


Tala4u2 54M  
2961 posts
3/11/2006 1:47 pm

Really bloody good Lusty, you captured one of the secrets of comedy success, and I ain't telling you what it is LMAO

Tala, Wizard of The Kingdom of BooBoBia, DEITY,
PERVlander


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/11/2006 5:24 pm

Thanks Sweetie...but you keep coming back don'tca...


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/11/2006 5:25 pm

    Quoting PassionKisses4Me:
    LMAO....that was so funny sweetie...thanks for sharing

    Becky
Becky...you are welcome...glad you liked!


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/11/2006 5:28 pm

    Quoting scorpmail66:
    very good cant wait 4 the next posting
Scorpmail...thanks for stopping by...I can't wait for it either!...it is very enjoyable putting stuff together...


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/11/2006 5:29 pm

Cats..thanks sexy!... and thanks for the visit.


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/11/2006 5:31 pm

    Quoting rm_mzhunyhole:
    OMG...I loved those frigging jokes mister!!!
Huny...I'm glad for that......I'll try to get you a new guy for another time..


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/11/2006 5:33 pm

    Quoting keithcancook:
    LMAO! Very clever post, mingling the old with the new. Well done, LT.

    Blog On!
Keith...lol...you give me too much credit, I was just tryin to have it all make sense and be funny...

Thanks for your thoughts.


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/11/2006 5:35 pm

Hey HNB...I read that link...NOT funny...how does that crap happen?


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/11/2006 5:43 pm

    Quoting Kaliedascope61:
    hahahahaha

    I do that to! works everytime right cats?
Kalied...it was just a guess man, she didn't say a word...Honest!..


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/11/2006 5:44 pm

kpb..right on, glad you enjoyed it...but hey, I did get you with a hot woman...LMAO...


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/11/2006 5:46 pm

    Quoting tillerbabe:
    I don't "get it" Excellent! {=}
Tiller...thanks!...I'm glad you liked, since you COULD probably kick my ass...


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/11/2006 5:48 pm

    Quoting travelingintexas:
    Fantastic work.... Thanks for the time you spent on this...
Trav...thanks for poppin by and you're welcome.


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/11/2006 5:50 pm

    Quoting AtomicArtist0:
    it doesn't take preperation H to get me to talk like an asshole.
Atomic...lol...but now your gums don't itch!!!.....thanks for stoppin in.


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/11/2006 5:52 pm

    Quoting HBowt2:
    Think you've finally found your blog talent......
HBowt...well, we'll see about that, but I really enjoy this place...


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/11/2006 5:53 pm

ExPat...hey, thanks for that...and glad you liked it...


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/11/2006 5:55 pm

    Quoting waggypolly:
    You are definitely on a winning format here. LOL
waggypolly...I hope so, I really enjoyed doing it...and you guys seem to like it...thanks for your thoughts!...


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/11/2006 5:57 pm

    Quoting Tala4u2:
    Really bloody good Lusty, you captured one of the secrets of comedy success, and I ain't telling you what it is LMAO
Tala...that's just great, now I have to do something funny again by accident???...LMAO...


caressmewell 53F

3/11/2006 7:49 pm

OMG, that was so funny. You did a great job!


FunandFrisky79 41M/37F

3/11/2006 8:24 pm

LMFAO!!! Too funny!!! Blog on!!!

]


rm_PurryKitty2 48M/50F
9753 posts
3/12/2006 3:24 pm

You are silly!

Purry {=}

Purry


Honey_Dew_you 45F

3/12/2006 3:26 pm

That was fun to read, thank you for stopping by my blog and allowing me to find you. You’re so creative and that just lifted my boring afternoon.


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/12/2006 4:40 pm

    Quoting caressmewell:
    OMG, that was so funny. You did a great job!
caress...thanks hun!.


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/12/2006 4:42 pm

Funanfrisky...I like to make people laugh...glad you liked it.


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/12/2006 4:43 pm

Purry...Damn you are a good looking woman...


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/12/2006 4:45 pm

    Quoting Honey_Dew_you:
    That was fun to read, thank you for stopping by my blog and allowing me to find you. You’re so creative and that just lifted my boring afternoon.
Honey...you are very welcome, and I'm glad my goofiness made you a little happier today...


oldman1776 78M
3164 posts
3/13/2006 4:21 pm

LMOAO. Funny shit young man.


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/14/2006 9:00 pm

Hey Oldman...a laugh and a lay...don't get much better than that...


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/14/2006 9:27 pm

Sexyfit...my west coast girl!...I am glad you enjoyed that...


GoddessOfTheDawn 105F
11240 posts
3/15/2006 12:11 pm

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, my comment didn't stick again ....

[


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/15/2006 4:07 pm

It stuck this time...sorry Goddess...it's frustrating...


Become a member to create a blog