LustyTaurus 48M  
12038 posts
4/21/2006 6:22 am

Last Read:
5/22/2006 4:22 pm


It's official, after much blogging and 50 some posts (some of which has been fun and an excellent source of relief)...I've come to the realisation that I am staying in my home primarily for two reasons:

1-I can't afford a divorce with child support, division of assets etc

2-I just don't want the hassle

Perky better a very decent woman, kind and sensual in many ways...I'm an idealistic, selfish asshole who wants everything...and become very unhappy when my goals for expression and exploration become frustrated.

At the same time I don't want to hurt anyone along the way...and I know with the course I'm on it's inevitable.

Pay now or pay later...what a fucking choice huh??

Have a great day all...


angelofmercy5 59F
17881 posts
4/21/2006 6:34 am

Lusty....this post makes me feel sad. Partly because it is a choice that many have to make in this day and age, and partly because I know that you are not completely happy. It also makes me sad because I wish that I had some real words of wisdom to say here and I don't. There was a time in my own marriage that I should have left...and I didn't for many of the same reasons you stated here. But in the end and always, I loved my husband...and we are truly happy now. But we did hurt each other along the ride....for sure!

LustyTaurus replies on 4/22/2006 12:10 am:
Thanks for the kind really isn't so much about love per say, I do care deeply for her.

catseyes23 61F

4/21/2006 6:54 am

I know how frustrating that can be, Lusty.

I think that there are many people who are going through the same motions a yourself. Such is Life.


LustyTaurus replies on 4/22/2006 12:11 am:
hahaha...if life were perfect huh


4/21/2006 7:21 am

I'm sorry for your frustration.
I know it's hard.. I have a friends that were dealing with the same issues.. have young kids and they cant afford a divorce.. so they learned to respect one another as the other parent. live as roomates and they both live seperate lives.. and it works out great.. Not for everyone.. But it works for them. best thing is kids have both parents together.. and the parents are better friends then husband and wife.

under the stars
We choose to write
you choose what you comprehend.
read twice and be nice
every key stroke... has a heart beat

LustyTaurus replies on 4/22/2006 12:12 am:
The real problem here is we are on two different's not like we fight all the time or anything

meerkittykat 42F

4/21/2006 7:59 am

ouch...nothing worse than being unhappy, well..except when you know hurt is inevitable, then, double ouch.

It's situations like yours that confirm a long-held belief of mine that marriage, as defined in it's current paradigm, is purely a function relegated by the state. Marriage, as defined by a formal union with shared assets and responsibilities, is easy to obtain. But people assume marriage comes with love followed by happiness, and it's sadly enough not always the case.

Not one word though makes you feel any better though.

LustyTaurus replies on 4/22/2006 12:13 am:
No...but a series of well chosen words like "I have a girlfriend I'd like to share with you" would go a long ways...LOL

happyladychat 47F
3740 posts
4/21/2006 8:06 am

hmmm.... any chance to talk it out with your better half?
no good to keep your frustration within....

Just hope you can find a way to sort out your frustration soon.

Take care.

Make it your challenge.... turn me ON!!

LustyTaurus replies on 4/22/2006 12:14 am:
me too happy...thanks

digdug41 49M

4/21/2006 8:37 am

god I know whatcha mean LT,ya cant win for losing it seems

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

LustyTaurus replies on 4/22/2006 12:14 am:
Yep...thanks dig

PassionKisses4Me 44F

4/21/2006 8:46 am

Hugs really is a difficult situation...I know I have been there myself...I wish you strength and patience to find in your heart and mind what you need to do for all involved...I am here for you friend



LustyTaurus replies on 4/22/2006 12:16 am:
thanks certainly isn't clear and easy for me, I appreciate your words

RevJoseyWales 69M/66F
14393 posts
4/21/2006 8:57 am

Know EXACTLY what you mean. Tha's why I'm on my second marriage. In my case, I felt that it was better to end it then, rather than prolong it for all of us. I don't know if it turned out best for her or not, but at least she didn't have to put up with my sorry ass. It turned out fine for my son, and I couldn't be happier. Some things are not meant to last, no matter how much you may want them to. People change. Doesn't make either one bad or wrong. I couldn't take hurting my ex anymore, and having my son watch us go down the tubes. I don't envy you bro'. I hope your decision, whatever it maybe, is the right one for both you and your family. You have A LOT to think about. If ya ever need to talk....... Joe

"McVeigh had the right idea, wrong address."

"This ain't Dodge City, and you ain't Bill Hickok."

LustyTaurus replies on 4/22/2006 12:19 am:
Yep....I haven't had the cahonas to lay it all on the line with her yet, one key ingredient as you know for successful negotiations is to have the ability and willingness to walk away from the table if necessary.

clevergirl4U 58F

4/21/2006 9:30 am

I was in the same situation myself 10 years ago, so I understand your frustration. I left and raised my son pretty much on my ex and I were both VERY sad over the break-up. It was an economic hardship on both of us. I like my life better single, and it doesn't have all THAT much to do with my sexual freedom. I'm just one of those people who wasn't wired for marriage.

I guess my caveat would be, we pay SOME kind of price for every choice we make

A hug for you....

LustyTaurus replies on 4/22/2006 12:21 am:
I'm starting to think that maybe I was not built for marriage either..

imLadyBambi 58M/50F

4/21/2006 11:06 am

I don't think it matters if you pay for it now or later, the outcome is going to be the same.

And in some situations waiting can be even harder because it will just make you that much more miserable for that much longer.

Sorry that you are in this position.

Hope all turns out well for you with what ever decision you make.

Good luck!!

Lady Bambi

LustyTaurus replies on 4/22/2006 12:21 am:
Unfortunately, nothing is going to happen quickly...appreciate the thoughts

aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
4/21/2006 11:48 am

How many times have you seen me whine... I, too, want everything and bitch when I don't get it.

LustyTaurus replies on 4/22/2006 12:22 am:
hahaha...I know it aas...thanks for the support

oldude1946 71M

4/21/2006 2:54 pm

I'm single, it's a tuff life but someone has to do it

LustyTaurus replies on 4/22/2006 12:23 am: seem to be damn good at it !!

rm_cru1972 44M
4407 posts
4/21/2006 6:32 pm

can't help with advice, but I could hide ya

LustyTaurus replies on 4/22/2006 12:23 am:
that might be better than anything you could say cru...LOL

rm_pagan380 65M
4405 posts
4/21/2006 6:41 pm

Just what is it that your looking for that's missing?

Come play naked in the sunshine and dance naked under the stars.


LustyTaurus replies on 4/22/2006 12:24 am:
freedom to walk around the park naked hand in hand with my lover for one thing...

ArgosPlumyKooky 45F
3902 posts
4/21/2006 7:32 pm

you will make what is best work in due time. . .good luc in the interim

LustyTaurus replies on 4/22/2006 12:24 am:
thanks snatch

saddletrampsk 54F

4/21/2006 8:42 pm

Want some cheese with your whine?
But seriously your post makes me very sad..I am not in the same situation, I love my husband to death he is my best friend but I just need alot more in the sex dept..probably more than any single man could offer..hope things improve for you..try some counselling before you make any crazy descions sweety..great big hugs for you..

LustyTaurus replies on 4/22/2006 12:26 am:
I prefer Swiss and white know well Saddle...but don't you get tired of the sneak around? Wouldn't it be great to have things open, honest and supported by your spouse?...that's what I'm talking about.

mangomamiCT 42F

4/21/2006 11:46 pm

I am printing this out and putting it in my wallet .....just in case I am ever inclined to marry

LustyTaurus replies on 4/22/2006 12:29 am:
I'm sorry mango...there are good things's not like i don't want a partner, just seems like maybe I got the wrong one.

1122003304 29M
1 post
4/22/2006 2:48 am

sex sex ..... sex sex
i'am dj.znomo love sexy girls and bbw/fat...12561

rm_FreeLove999 46F
16127 posts
4/22/2006 6:48 am

i know i am really blessed in having a husband who understands my need for sexual expression and exploration outside my marriage. i know few men have wives who would be happy with that, so they have to make hard choices. i don't have any words of wisdom... i definitely don't wish myself in your shoes. i think the best you can do is make your choices with open eyes, and you certainly seem to be doing that.

[blog freelove999]

LustyTaurus replies on 4/22/2006 9:46 am:

rm_FreeLove999 46F
16127 posts
4/22/2006 6:54 am

p.s. it took my husband and i two years of talking before stepping into the terrain of an open relationship, and once we did, we haven't stopped talking and communicating on the subject. so, if you do decide to discuss it with your wife, it may take some time and require even more patience on your part...

i don't believe tho that any one can be happy without full expression and exploration of themselves. my husband was chatting to someone yesterday about relationships she said -- we have been given this myth of two people becoming one thru marriage, but actually we are still two separate people pursuing fulfillment in our separate lives. the best a relationship can be is to offer caring and support in each partners pursuit of personal fulfillment. unfortunately, that is not something many marriages are in tune with.

wish i could help...

[blog freelove999]

LustyTaurus replies on 4/22/2006 9:53 am:
Maybe you have a script I could follow...with my personality, I am most likely to just blurt out over supper something like "I wanna start screwing other people and having threesomes and sex parties...what do ya think?"

Instinctively, I don't think that is quite the approach I need to make...LOL

rm_pagan380 65M
4405 posts
4/22/2006 8:46 am

Come to Florida, Kick back for awhile and think about it. Bring your lover and get naked in my park!

Come play naked in the sunshine and dance naked under the stars.


LustyTaurus replies on 4/22/2006 9:49 am:
That is a fine idea, very fine...hmmm

papyrina 51F
21133 posts
4/22/2006 9:13 am

i'm in the next home as you,love him,decent guy but no way could i go into the World alone right now and it would really hurt him and i cannot do that

I'm a

i'm here to stay

LustyTaurus replies on 4/22/2006 9:50 am:
It's a tough situation isn't it papy?...there are many things about my wifey I truly love, including the fundamentals of who she is...but...

RevJoseyWales 69M/66F
14393 posts
4/22/2006 12:19 pm

Like I said Bro, been there, lived that. So if ya ever need to talk, I'll listen. Nobody's gonna have the answer for you, because every situation is different. Listen to all, but use what seems right for YOU. We hope you find a good way to resolve this, because we hate to see anyone braeak up. But sometimes it's the only way. I DO NOT envy you. Our prayers will go with you, for both of you. Joe

"McVeigh had the right idea, wrong address."

"This ain't Dodge City, and you ain't Bill Hickok."

LustyTaurus replies on 4/22/2006 1:43 pm:
Joe...I appreciate that, we'll get it figured out somehow.

norprin5 55M

4/22/2006 12:21 pm

LT...i know edzakry what you're sayin', man... it's the same in my house

King Nor XVIII

LustyTaurus replies on 4/22/2006 1:45 pm:
I know you do NP5, thanks and good luck to you on this issue

rm_FreeLove999 46F
16127 posts
4/22/2006 3:18 pm

sorry, there are no scripts. in my case, i had fallen for someone else and having discussed it with my best friend, felt that if i could discuss it with my best friend, my husband deserved similar honesty. i seriously thought it might be the end of our marriage, and was floored when he just said: "why didn't you just tell me you were polyamorous?"

however, you obviously need a cautious and sensitive approach with your wife. have you thought of: "there's this guy at work whose in an open relationship with his wife... what do you think of that?" and see where that takes you, saying how you think it might work, hypothetically. you could also discuss what your wife thinks love means, and how you differ in your views on love (e.g. along the lines my husband's friend spoke about that i mentioned above).

anyway, you have to figure it out on your own. these are only suggestions ... the point is to keep it a tentative theoretical discussion initially and not impose what you want. you can then see if the way is open for further discussion on the subject, or if it is shut down, and make new decisions from there.

[blog freelove999]

LustyTaurus replies on 4/22/2006 4:01 pm:
thanks a million freelove...having been there, what you say means a lot.

tweddyNpbear 47M/46F
439 posts
4/22/2006 8:44 pm

Are you happy? If so great, if not then the sacrifices would be worth it. Life is too short to be unhappy.

LustyTaurus replies on 4/22/2006 10:40 pm:
Yeah, I know these things too...thanks for your thoughts, and for stopping by.

kelly402005 52F

4/23/2006 9:31 pm

I don't think you really have a choice.......
Do you?
........ I don't
I'm not facing the same situation, but......... you know how it is.

Have a good one,

LustyTaurus replies on 4/24/2006 6:07 am:
That's how I feel...damned either way...thanks Kelly

multitasksextoy 59M  
3511 posts
4/24/2006 5:40 pm

Not so fucked up,me too.I figure it's better than the alternatives,everybody is unhappy.If I am happy and satisfided I seem to be that way at home and everyone else is happy.But it does get complicated when you don't want to hurt anyone.Sorry no quick fix lusty,but I know were your coming from.

LustyTaurus replies on 4/24/2006 11:56 pm:
Thanks pal...

Become a member to create a blog