Change the world  

LustyTaurus 48M  
12038 posts
1/29/2006 10:14 am

Last Read:
2/23/2012 8:59 pm

Change the world

So it's Sunday morning here in sunny Saskatchewan and I am just putzing around living my life. I flip on the TV and there's a church program being broadcast from the crystal cathedral in California. I can't take that shit, so I decide to go for a walk and take out the garbage. I pass this couple out walking their dog, we smile and say good morning. They are an average couple, middle aged(whatever that is) decent looking. Course I wonder right away if she shaves or not, and if she likes it from behind. Then I come in the house, read some articles, send a few e-mails and hits me. I am just another schmo passing time and I, all of a sudden for no apparent reason, feel like an insignificant organism just taking up space until I die. I said to myself, precious (cause that's what I call myself) what the hell is wrong with you? There's lots of ways you can be somebody and change the world. Here are a few of the things that passed through my head:

1-Plant a tree...

2-Have a kid

3-Write a letter my MLA, tell him/her I think they are doing a wonderful job...that should confuse them!

4-bake a cake and give it to my neighbor

5-donate a kidney

6-volunteer for my community radio station

7-shovel the snow from my friend's sidewalk

8-renovate my house

9-give blood(but not too much)

10-phone Oprah and tell her she sucks

11-phone Jon Stewart, Jay Leno and Dr. Phil, tell them you phoned Oprah and you think she sucks

12-sponsor a child-in Africa, South East Asia, Central America and Northern Saskatchewan

13-Start an Adult film company, run it my hand until you can afford to hire some actresses

14-Vote in the next election-municiple, provincial and federal

15-Go for beers with that guy at work every body hates...but he has to buy

16-become a Mason

17-phone my Mom and tell her I love her

18-send out Valentines cards to 136 randomly selected adresses.

19-go for a beer with saddletrampsk

20-be a volunteer firefighter

21-visit a prisoner

22-buy a chevy

23-play my Saxophone at 4 am from my second floor balcony

Any other ideas?

caressmewell 53F

1/29/2006 5:02 pm

LOL - You so need to go have a beer with my Sis Saddletramp!

saddletrampsk 54F

1/29/2006 8:51 pm

Have another beer with me?

keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
1/30/2006 6:11 pm

Well, at least you are a horny schmo. That should count for something...

Blog On!

LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
1/31/2006 6:11 pm

And they say Angels don't exist.

LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
1/31/2006 6:13 pm

I think it'll be naked girl gingerbread cookies.

LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
1/31/2006 6:15 pm

I think I'll do that Long haired, I like whores and I called my mom, she thinks i was

LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
1/31/2006 6:17 pm

mmmm beer. mmmm saddletrampsk

LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
1/31/2006 6:18 pm

horny schmo...gotta love a guy with a positive attitude. Thanks Keith! >>!

scumbagalert101 48M
12 posts
2/1/2006 4:11 pm

That's a high-larious post. Personally, I'd rather plant a kid and have a tree. Could always donate a kid along with the kidney, I guess; or hey, sell the kid's kidney! I guess I'm a bit too anti-kid today. Anyway, my ulterior motive for this comment is to thank you for the nice comment you gave on my blog. I'm a cheap bastard with only the free version of this site, where I can't actually email people, otherwise I would. To answer your question, if it even was one, I am actually all three of those things - genuinely deranged and angry, practicing for something commercially viable, and amusing myself, all at the same time. Usually, I start off trying to do or be one and end up doing the other. This is why I might seem a "curious individual" to you. I am attempting a new synthesis and old "scumbag" is one of the alternate personalities that was produced.

I've actually had a few opportunities, or near opportunities, similar to what you describe on the golf course, but they've al been incredibly sleazy and dangerous in more than one way and not as cool as yours (ya lucky bastard). For instance, I once befriended a maniacal nymphomaniac who was obsessed with sucking men off and swallowing their gravy (gotta love those euphemisms!). This, of course, was quite intriguing, but when a girl has swallowed THAT much jizm from men she barely even knew you're taking your life in your own hands if you do anything more than shake her hand, and for that I always insisted on a rubber glove. In the end, I could only become her friend and counselor (that, "sorry honey but I gave you HIV" talk is NOT one I wish to have with my wife). That's what I mean by the logistical nightmare that the pursuit of illicit sex offers. Truth be told, I'm a genuine loser so it's hard to keep up with the real swingers.

You're clearly a very perceptive fella. You not only caught on that I was partly practicing for a more commercially viable outlet, but you also noticed I had apologized here and there and that this was an important sign. I really DO care what people think, I guess, but at the same time don't care AND get off on inspiring negative reactions. Life is complex and I like to shove that complexity down people's throats. I'm filled with rage, but this same rage often leads me to involuntary fits of compassion (the intensity of the rage is probably what does it, it throws some kind of switch, I think). At the same time as I confess that I'm a married feller on the make, I compulsively have outbursts of rage and craziness that often amuse me so much that I push them even further. If "the ladies" (hey, guys, let's hear it for "the ladies," let's give 'em a nice big round of applause for being such great sports!) think I'm a Bundy or, as you so amusingly put it, Steven Segal on LSD (I may have to steal that one from you) then that's fine, too, because from my vast personal experience attempting to get into their pants post marriage and failing at it miserably I've learned that it's almost 100% unlikely to ever happen (which is probably a good thing, or so the "little woman" tells me). Nothing truly will be lost and my entertainment level will be all the more increased. And who knows, maybe I'll find that female Bundy out there to become my special friend. I always thought that sex is best when it resembles two werewolves attacking each other.

This comment probably exceeds the length of your post, so feel free to just delete once you're read it (or before). Like I said, it's my only alternative to email here.

LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
2/2/2006 4:16 pm

No problem scumbag...I love hearing that in my head as I type for some reason...I like this post of yours and ultimately these blogs are meant to communicate. I'm glad you enjoyed it and thanks for the comments

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