Two questions for all of you women out there to answer if you would be so kind...  

LoyaltyandHonor 35M/31F
3114 posts
7/31/2005 5:32 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Two questions for all of you women out there to answer if you would be so kind...


Today I have to wonder what is up with much of the population of women…

Lots of women desire romantic and loving men…

When such a man comes along they often ignore them and chase other men right in front of them…

The choice they made gets them emotionally hurt (as usual)…

This is no ones fault but the woman who made that specific choice. If you pass up a person you know you would be truly happy with for a man you know nothing about then you can not blame men. All you can do it blame yourself for the serious display of stupidity.

There are some women who take advantage of nice men…

They use these men for their tender nature (often a shoulder to lean on)…

These nice guys never get a girlfriend and never get to have sex…

Many other men indeed see this happen…

If a woman only sleeps with a man who is a jerk over a man who is nice then other men will follow the ways of the jerk because they also want to get laid. Men care mostly about sex and will play follow the leader (whatever type of man gets the most pussy will be the type of man they act like).

I know that sounds harsh but it is the undeniable truth. Women have brought upon much of the suffering they have had to endure over the last 50 years. If women did not allow the nice guys to finish last all the time then there would be more nice guys in the world. If a woman will not be bold and approach a shy man who is possibly very romantic then she deserves whatever she gets.

Women wanted equal rights… those equal rights should apply to relationships as well as jobs and society. Today men are still expected to be the primary ones to ask a woman out or to just initiate a conversation in general. This seems to me like a serious control issue. They want equal rights in society and yet can’t live up to being equals in a relationship?

I am not meaning this as an insult… I am actually confused by it and am hoping that maybe some of you women can explain this to me.

Why is it that men still always have to be the ones to ask a girl out?

Why do women intentionally choose an asshole when they can easily find a nice man?

cuddlykittenn 42F

7/31/2005 8:55 pm

in today's world, many people see "niceness" as a sign of weakness. I find many "nice" guys lack the self confidence to go after what they want and spend too much time thinking of someone else's feelings before their own happiness; that's why they finish last. on the other hand.... i still see society judging females for going after what they want and asking a guy out. There is still a double standadrd and the girls are still considered "easy" or "too forward" by the guys as a result.
it seems you lose either way.
these days i seem to be meeting too many guys who claim to be the "nice" guys and claiming to have been hurt and "messed over" by some horrible woman when in reality... that horrible acting woman had a good reason to leave. I would be more worried about the guys who are trying to play the "injured nice guy" to get laid than the guys who are being "jerks" to get laid. The fake "injuried nice guy" is causing much more damage to the "nice guy" name if you ask me.


PrincessKarma 43F
6188 posts
7/31/2005 6:46 pm

1) I was 20 when I had my first date. I asked him out.

2) I learned about jerks the hard way: they are charmers when they want to get into your pants. My last BF left me out in the cold to die two years ago. Now I know better...

There's a very nice man here on AdultFriendFinder whom I want. Badly. If I could go to where he is I'd do my best to make a go of it.

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma


LoyaltyandHonor 35M/31F
1241 posts
7/31/2005 6:40 pm

Sadly though tiger...

Many women and people in general do not learn from their mistakes.


LoyaltyandHonor 35M/31F
1241 posts
7/31/2005 4:12 pm

Well I still believe that women are required to have equal rights in all of life's aspects. If a woman can not pull her own weight in a relationship then they wouldn't be able to do it in society either.

Some men are probably just as shy as those women and yet those women will still have men ask them out. The men never do and thus get to live a life of sorrow and extreme pain that those shy women never truly have to endure.


rm_cele2flowers 42F
75 posts
7/31/2005 2:53 pm

I think a lot of women caught up in feminism still crave the chivalry of having men court them. This includes the man being the one to do the initial asking out. I've done my share of asking out and gotten my share of rejections. Some women are also just too shy to take that step out of their comfort zone!

As for why women choose the asshole over the nice guy? I think I'm living the perfect example right now. I have a male buddy that I spend a lot of time with. He's one of the sweetest men I know! When we first started getting to know each other, I was attracted to him. Let me add that he's far and away near the looks of Mel Gibson (or Brad Pitt or or or). He's got a very serious weight problem, but my attraction to him was to him -- his personality, intelligence, what he was inside. I would've gladly been his girlfriend. My attraction to him has eroded though. I've watched him for 7 or 8 months chase after women that use him for his tender and sensitive side. These women also live greater distances away from him and when they have the time or opportunity to visit him, do they? NO! I sit by and comfort him as his heart is crushed over and over again by women like that. So sometimes it's not always the woman's fault. We can be right under their nose wanting more, but not able to try and ask for it because the nice men are busy chasing after women that treat them like crap!

Also, there can be men out there that masquerade as "nice guys" and turn into assholes when you actually get to know them. Personally, I'd like to have the nice guy, but I'm knowingly choosing assholes right now to have a good time with.


Brown_Cowgirl 36F

7/31/2005 2:19 pm

Unfortunately for men, a lot of women still believe that it's the man's job to ask the woman out. But not all women want that, personally I'm the kind of woman that goes out and gets what she wants...that includes men. I have no problem asking a man out for coffee or whatever, in fact I find that men love it when I make the first attempt at communication.
And the second question, about choosing an asshole over a nice guy, I don't have an answer for that really. I know I look for the nice guys, then again I don't tolerate being mistreated by anyone. My theory on it, is that sometimes women fall into the trap of finding a man like the last one she had...good or bad. Pardon the use of a cliche but, they can't see the forest for the trees. Often times the nice guy is the one that they rarely notice before the bad boys or the jerks. If they feel confident and good about themselves, a woman will never settle for anything less than what she deserves.


TehTigerLily 31F

7/31/2005 1:23 pm

Personaly, Ill ask a guy out if he cant catch the hint, or sometimes they are just unsure of how you feel, so its always nice for the girl to take charge and ask.

And I would date a nice not so good-looking guy over a man who is better looking than a woman and an asshole anyday. Perhaps some woman have standerds and will only be seen with someone who is a 10. Me I would rather be holding hands and laughing as we walk down the street with someone I cared about, and cared about me. In other words I choose the nice guy over the asshole, Ive learned from my mistakes and choosing assholes, Ill never do that again.


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