|Blogs > LoyaltyandHonor > ♠ Ask An INTJ♠|
Separating the girls from the "real" women!
Separating the girls from the "real" women!
I wrote about this yesterday, but I did not explain it like I should have. For that I offer my apology and I shall explain it better here.
In my experience I have found that opposites attract but in the end, they often do not really attract.
About two years ago a younger college gal started working where I do. I kept my eye on her for awhile when she first started so I could observe how she acted in general. My initial impression was that she might be a very slu**y kind of girl. She always came into work with a hangover and often was talking to her self due to her lack of sleep. Sometimes she seemed very intelligent; she just did not show that side very often. Sometimes it seemed more like she was suffering from a broken heart more then she actually wanted to act like a wild woman.
After a little while my player of a boss finally started taking an interest in her. I approached her after hearing some of the things he said and informed her that he has a reputation of sleeping with nearly all of the female employees and that he never stays faithful to the women he dates. She turned around and said, “that figures, the guy I dated in highschool turned out to be the exact same kind of guy. We dated for 3 years and I didn’t find out till a couple of weeks ago that he had been cheating on me since we started dating.”
This confirmed my thoughts of her suffering from a broken heart!
I was nervous about telling her that my boss was a player, but taking the risk to be honest with her allowed her to show me her honest side.
Later on she had broken up with her newest boyfriend because he also cheated on her. I took the liberty of sending her flowers in order to cheer her up. I do not hit on women, actually never have in my life yet. Her birthday was also a week away so my intention behind the flowers was to cheer her up as well as wish her a happy b-day.
What I did not know was that there had recently been a stalking problem in one of the stores near where I work. A customer had been sending one of the cashier’s flowers regularly and some nights would be waiting for her when she got out of work.
I sent the flowers, but did not put my name on the card because I did not want the girl thinking I was hitting on her. Because of that fact though, I got called into the personal office and told that I needed to let the young lady know that I had sent the flowers. I understood why after they explained the problem to me of the other cashier being stalked by a customer.
When I told the young gal that I had sent them, she offered the biggest smile I have ever seen a gal give. That made me very happy, until she spoke!
She turned around and said, “what did I do to earn them?”
I replied, “since when does a girl have to do anything in order to be given a gift?”
Her reply to me was, “No guy has ever given me anything without me first having to do something to earn it.”
I did not say anything after this; instead I turned around and walked away because I went from being happy to being totally disgusted by her and the men she has dated.
This tore me apart inside because it showed me a few things about her character. 1) She just admitted to me that she knows men who give her gifts only do it because she has given them something first. To me that sounds like the only men she dates are men who will only treat her like a woman if she is willing to fu** them. 2) It showed me that she has no morals at all, if she did not want men to treat her like that then she could stop allowing them to do so.
Later on she came back in the aisle I was working in…
She stopped in front of me and began taking her sweatshirt off. She literally arched her back to get her breasts to show and as she pulled the sweatshirt off over her hands she dropped some of the paper out of one of them.
Next she literally put her hand on her chin and said, “Aww look at what just happened!”
She just stood there looking at me, she obviously wanted me to pick up the darn papers for her like some kind of high school student carrying a girls books for her.
While I do believe in doing things for women, I believe in doing them because I want to. I do not like being told what to do because, well that is just fu**ing rude. Even ruder considering I had just given her something more polite then any man had yet to give her previously.
That ended everything right then and there… I refuse to allow a woman to directly take advantage of my generosity. I walked away… and we have not spoken since, me to her anyway, but she still tries to talk to me on occasion!
She is definitely a party girl…
Just two days ago she had 6 guys waiting out in the parking lot for her to get done work and then they went out to the bar together. Her alone with 6 local cadets… now that is asking for trouble!
Obviously she is partially lying and partially telling the truth. The bottom line is though, she keeps hanging out with guy’s that want nothing more then some cheap pu**y. While it may seem rude of me to not speak to her, it is not. I do not associate with children! If an adult does not know how to act like an adult then he or she will not even get a simple hello from me. If I wanted to hang out with some immature children, then I would go play with my niece who is almost 2 years old.
I expect men and women to act their age; she is legally an adult in age but still has the apparent maturity level of a 5-year-old.
This is not the first woman this has happened with though… every time that I meet a semi decent or beautiful woman my age she acts exactly like the girl I am talking about.
All beauty and no brains!
They are physically the most attractive women I have ever seen. It takes more then that though in order for me to keep an interest! While I am indeed sexually attracted to them, I am also literally repulsed by their actions and maturity. This goes to show me that often what I am attracted to in body am not what I am attracted to in mind. This just goes to show that many of the people in which we think are attractive, are actually really not that attractive.
While opposites can be fun (me being a scholar and her being a party gal), they do not really connect. Sometimes they do, but most times they do not. Dating her would be fun, but I have to ask myself, “can I picture her as my wife?” The answer to that is “no” and therefore I have made no such advance on my feelings.
I am 23 (24 in less then a week) and I desire a family and a woman that I actually love. That would mean a woman that can actually love me in return and be a loving mother. A party girl like this gal is not the kind of woman I want as the mother of my children! These women do nothing more then cause chaos within society because they act like women, yet they are not actually real women at all!
I am still appalled by the fact she pulled that stunt. This one gal has literally made me rethink about if I ever want to have sex. I keep meeting these stupid “little girls” and can not find any “real” women.
I love women to no end, but I have to be honest in the fact that I hate (yes I mean HATE) these dumb immature girls that “pretend” to be a woman. While they may fool a guy like me for a few minutes… they always do something stupid that shows their true nature and thus we walk away laughing. They are immature enough to think that they are to good for a guy like me, when the truth is that I am actually the one that is too good for them. I grew out of those stupid stunts already by the time I was 13. They will probably be in there 30’s or 40’s by the time they grow out of them though.
No “real” woman would ever try to take advantage of a man’s generosity.
How many of you men have encountered girls like this? Desiring one thing and yet acting totally different then that in which they claim to desire? Talk about confusing!
How do you handle these girls?
Are they actually worth any time?
Do you think they might change in time and actually start to act their age?
Do they ever grow out of the wannabe pornstar phase and begin to desire actual passion and love?
6/29/2005 2:01 pm
I have talked to her...|
She personally told me with her very own words that she does "not" want children. She wants a rich husband and does not want to associate with children.
She grew up with 3 younger sisters and 4 younger brothers. I believe her when she says she does not want to have children and that all she wants to do is party.
I also know she is telling me the truth because her mother works at the same place her and I do. The conversation about her not wanting children was with her mother sitting right in front of us while we where in the break-room.
6/29/2005 11:25 am
Mystic - I can't still help but wonder if you are attracted to her. I find this very interesting right now.|
tryanything - i'm a church goer, a good wife, a good mother, and I'm a party girl (I love to go out, I love to dance, I love to wear sexy clothing, and have I got some Tequila stories - hell, I'm on this site!) Of course we keep the play stuff a secret, but what I'm saying is that it is possible to find a combination that you can live with.
One more thing mystic - my cousin got married several years back - let's put it this way - my description of her when he met her was that she was a slut, and that he should not be marrying her. ALL of us had urged him not to - we didn't think she would be a good wife or mother - many tears were shed at that wedding and they were not the happy sentimental kind. Today - and I have told her over and over and over again - she is a great mother, a great wife and a wonderful community member. The most important thing is that she is EVERYTHING my cousin desired, I'm happy for them. Just because I was a virgin until I met my husband and couldn't imagine behaving in the manner that she had behaved (and what set us all off was her dirty dancing that had gotten out of control one night - we thought she was not only a slut but that she had now been disrespectful to her future husband and we all really worried about what kind of family life it would be). The thing is that once he had married her, I spent much time with her. I got to know who she is and she got to understand what our concerns were. She says she has learned alot from me. And honestly, I'm just happy that my cousin is happy and that he has a wonderful family, one to which she contributes the most to.
So, what I am trying to say is, instead of writting her off, and all girls like her, maybe you should actually sit down and talk with them about what you think is wrong with their behavior - provided you can do it without being judgemental. Think about this - how did you feel when I called you immature? I am hoping that you have some sense of what she must have felt like when you told her to grow up.
Another thing - how would you feel if your church members were to find out that you were on this site? You may be a virgin, you may be a "good boy", but do you think that they would think this is okay? What if they weren't okay with your being on this site - would you quit this site?
6/29/2005 5:36 am
yet did jesus mind if people saw him with mary magdalin NO i think not and if they were true christians they would think (i would hope) that you are trying to give her a better look on life in christ...|
also if you are looking for a woman that is in your dreams more than likely your not going to find them...here is an example of what i think will happen to you
A man i know from work is married to a woman that is ie good mother good church goer, a good wife in most aspects, A WOMAN <---- to you)
however to ask the man is he happy he would tell you know because although his wife is ie woman she is not a very good (party girl) for him sooo be careful what your looking for... you might just find it and be misrable for the rest of your life.....
ps guys like yourself make it hard for woman to be nice we all hate men like yourself that judge us with the holyer then thou attitude....
6/28/2005 3:00 pm
I do not know if she dated my boss or not, all I know is she hates him with a passion and tries to leave work before he comes in so that she will not have to see him.|
I do not pay attention to her anymore...
It is possible she did date him and got played therefore hates him a lot, or maybe she just hates him because she knows he is a pig and perhaps other employees have told her that as well.
I am not sure...
6/28/2005 2:51 pm
I agree Red...|
Most of the women I associate with are in their early 30's to early 40's. I think a lot of people my age would frown upon this (including my family). I have no choice though, the rest of the people my age just do not have the right level of maturity that they should.
6/28/2005 2:50 pm
I agree Hotn...|
That is why I do not speak to her anymore. I do have a reputation to uphold. If the Christians I do community service work with saw me hanging out with a party girl like her then I would not be allowed to work with the children anymore. They have a very strict policy that "us" workers are to maintain a proffessional status during the work season and even when the work season is not around.
She still tries to talk to me once and awhile... I will return a hello once and a blue moon, but normally I just turn around and walk away.
6/28/2005 2:47 pm
I assumed she was a party girl...|
It took a little while for that to become a proven point though.
6/28/2005 10:43 am
Read this one with much interest and although I can't answer any of the above questions, I have to comment that this girl appears to be seeking attention in anyway she can get it. Unfortunately she has chosen to use her body in order to get the attention she wants/needs. I would say that there are MAJOR issues and your best bet is to duck and run.|
6/28/2005 10:16 am
Okay, I can't! I tried yesterday and now I'm reading this again and it is even worse!|
Sweetie, she is who she is. Your sending her flowers was not going to change her. I think that you are acting immature in the way you are reacting to her dropping the damn paper and your response to her was immature. Instead of acting like a mature person would and explain to her what you found so wrong with what she did, you replied with a typical immature response of "oh grow up". On top of it you are ignoring her, you are judging her, and you are being arrogant!
Did you not warn her about your player boss? Did she date him? You never said that she went ahead and made that mistake. I'm assuming that she didn't and that means that she listens to you and takes your advice to heart.
Is it possible that you really do want a girl like her and that it bothers you when you act on those feelings and you would like to be above that? I mean, you sent her flowers to cheer her up, you even state that you find her attractive. I don't think that her dropping the paper was her trying to take advantage of your generosity - it was her way of flirting with you, playing with you.
I know I've told you before that I didn't think that your standards were too high, and they are not, but I think you will have to look in different places and different girls for that. You knew she was a party girl, you should either accept that you have an attraction to that or you should just accept that you don't have an attraction to that and not act on any impulses that you have. In this case, honestly, I think your expectations were too high.
6/28/2005 9:33 am
I've read this several times now. You make a valid point. As I've always said, it's not how beautiful or perfect the package is - it's the contents inside that make the gift. |
You wrote this wonderfully - thank you.