Paying attention can help a great deal...  

LoyaltyandHonor 35M/31F
3114 posts
6/23/2005 12:28 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Paying attention can help a great deal...

About 5 to 6 months ago I was having a conversation with one of my sisters friends. During it she was complaining of experiencing pain from all types of penetration. I found this odd so I dug a little deeper into it and asked her exactly what specifically it was that was causing the pain or where the pain was occurring. I was trying to narrow it down to find out if it was initial pain when the peni* was first inserted or if it was a constant pain since the moment penetration began. Her reply was that the entire experience was very painful and that was the primary reason she had stopped trying to have sex with guys. She had always been bisexua* but had decided to stop activity with men all together. When she is in bed with a woman she is the “real” kind of lesbia*. She has not ever allowed the use of sex toys, only fingers and tongues. She agrees with me in the fact that a woman who uses se* toys can not actually ever consider herself to me fully gay as the toys they use are modeled after a man’s peni*. She has always openly said, “if I want a peni* inside of me I would rather just have the real thing.”

About mid way through this conversation I stopped and looked at her. I asked, “are you having se* with these men before you are actually wanting to?” She just about turned as white as a ghost and replied, “how did you just figure that out?”


I asked the question about vaginismus

This is a prefect example of the psychological aspect of it. Quit frankly… I don’t give a darn about the medical aspect. It is more common within the psychological aspect then it is in the medical aspect. Men were pressuring her into having se* with her, and she was also allowing them to do so. I do not blame the men, and I do not blame her, I blame them both equally for doing something they were not ready for. The men wanted se* and did not care about her state of mind in regards to that issue. She wanted to slow down, but did not voice that to them. A few of them she in fact did voice it to, but like virtually every man on the planet… they just want to get themselves wet!

The point being… vaginismus comes in various forms and also in varying degrees. A lot of books actually list this problem within the section about female virginity. The reason they do so is because the psychological kind is highly common amongst women in today’s society. I hear a lot of guy’s comment about how tight their woman is… and I know it is not actually supposed to be that way. Some women are in fact tight, but I know darn well that some of the other women they are talking about actually have a type of this and they are to clueless and insensitive to think about anything but the feel of her. Medically or psychologically… if this sets in, a woman can tighten up to extreme degrees. Most of the time, tighter then when she was a virgi*!

Women who have been abused in some way are a highly delicate subject. It is possible for flashbacks to occur visually or subconsciously without even the slightest of warnings. This can result in her vagin* becoming a very dry well in the matter of a second or two. If you are still thrusting away during this time, it can literally tear her up.

The overall point being… never pressure a woman to have se* with you because you can do damage in ways you do not know. If you are with a woman who has a very tight vagin*… ask her how things are going. Make sure she is not experiencing pain! If she is, then be a loving partner and ask her to get checked. From there, you must find a way “together” to have sex that accommodates the both of you!

Vaginismus comes in numerous levels… a “very” tight woman probably has a mild or severe level of this. It is possible to fix both the medical kind and the psychological kind. However, one little mistake can bring it back again!

Childbirth and similar things can tighten a woman up a great deal or loosen her out a great deal. If you are dealing with a tight vagin* from a woman you know has been in labor… I would not suspect vaginismus. My observations and studies show this to be far more common amongst single or dating women. They endure a lot of odd activity and varying levels of that activity. It is possible for a woman to think she is ready and then not actually be ready. Subconsciously this can cause the more psychological form of vaginismus to set in and by the time she knows it… she will already be in pain.

Women are indeed the ones who need to know the female body because they are the females. I do not find it a man’s job to know more about the female body then the woman he is with. The same though, I would expect a man to know more about the male body then a woman does. Obviously people who are in the medical field would not be under this same analysis.

(As always, I am leaving this open for more people to discuss and elaborate on).

LoyaltyandHonor 35M/31F
1241 posts
6/23/2005 3:20 pm

I know m'lady. The only thing meant to penetrate a woman though was a penis and "all" sex toys are modeled after a man's penis. The only ones that are not are the stimulators that do not cause deep penetration.

Does not matter if a woman like it or not. If I hear a woman using a vibrator or a dildo in her... she is bisexual because she is still using a "rubber" penis. Real or rubber it is still a penis!

LoyaltyandHonor 35M/31F
1241 posts
6/23/2005 12:30 pm

I must offer my apologies over all the *'s. It makes it hard to read! I edited this 73 times and kept getting the message that it contained banned text.

I can assure you, customer severice has gotten 13 earfuls in different emails about this BS in the past hour.

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