Frequently asked questions (Very short answers)  

LoyaltyandHonor 35M/31F
3114 posts
5/28/2005 6:12 am

Last Read:
2/21/2009 6:02 pm

Frequently asked questions (Very short answers)

Frequently asked Questions and Answers

For those seeking quick answers to some commonly asked questions… here is a list of them with some short and basic answers. Remember that these are “short and basic”. There are very complicated things that go with some of these… you won’t find the complicated and more thoughtful answers here.

Does the size of your penis really matter? This is probably the most frequently asked question by men. Every race has a different average in vaginal size and penis size. Sometimes a vagina is actually much larger then the penis that is trying to penetrate it. Sometimes the penis is considerably much larger then the vagina it is trying to penetrate.

Look at how many men care about breast size… some men like them small, medium, or large. Woman can be the same way when it comes to the size of a man’s penis. Each size penis has its strengths and weaknesses. A smaller penis can allow for closer contact with most women (deeper penetration). A larger penis can often provide a sensation of being stretched, which believe it or not there is a lot of women who would love this. Sometimes there is just an added psychological thrill to seeing a large penis. Even if the women does not get added pleasure from it then the increased thrill alone could make a woman decide to stick to larger sized guys. Having a larger penis can result in not allowing numerous lovemaking positions to be used as using them could result in the penis hitting the cervix which many women can tell you is not pleasurable at all!

It is possible to learn how to work through these issues, but sometimes-physical differences can actually be so different that it is easier to find a new partner instead of studying and learning ways to cope with what you have. So yes, size does in fact matter a great deal to some people and to others it won’t.

What do women mean when they say, “it’s not about the size, it’s about how you use it”? Every size penis has its own advantages and disadvantages just like every different sexual position has it’s own advantages and disadvantages. When you hear a woman say this, she is making reference to you knowing what positions will and will not work best based off your size. Women who use this phrase should know and be able to educate a man in what will work best otherwise they are using a phrase that they don’t really know the meaning of. Some women who do actually know ways to use different positions may decide to not say anything because they expect a man to know these things by nature. To be safe… I would recommend all men to at least study a little bit of Kama-Sutra.

Can oral sex be more intimate then intercourse? Many sex therapists have said on numerous occasion’s that oral sex is actually more intimate then actual intercourse. I agree with them because when you engage in oral sex with someone they are allowing you access to their most sensitive of places, as well as allowing you to taste and smell their most sacred juices. There are many people who will allow you to have intercourse with them but will not allow oral sex with those people because of those very reasons. It is easier to have someone tell you that you do not feel good then it does to have someone tell you that you taste and smell badly.

Why are one-night stands bad? There are numerous reasons as to why a one-night stand is bad. I would have to say that the primary reason they are so risky is because they are normally based off lust and not love or passion. Acting based off lust alone can lead to making mistakes, these mistakes could result in consequences you have not thought of and are not something that you can ever undo. Once you get a woman pregnant or contract a sexually transmitted disease you then have to deal with it for life. Is one night of pleasure really worth your life, or the life of another? Remember that pregnancy does not only effect you and your partner, it also effects the child! Sexually transmitted diseases effect you and all of your future partners as well!

Is masturbation bad? Masturbation is not bad at all. Personally I do not think men and women do it as often as they should. Sometimes we desire to try new things but are nervous of what a partner(s) might think. Masturbation provides a private way to explore our bodies as well as many of the fantasies within our mind. Masturbation also provides totally safe sexual pleasure meaning you do not take the risk of sexually transmitted diseases when masturbating like you do when having intercourse with another person.

Is sex before marriage bad? This is a matter of religious belief. If you believe that sex before marriage is bad then that means sex before marriage is bad. Regardless of religious belief though sexual activities should only be done by people who are mature enough to handle all of the possible consequences that can arise from these activities.

Is there a magic age to start having sex? There is no magic age to start having sex with people. When you feel you are ready then you are ready. In order to know if you are ready to have sex, you need to be both physically and mentally mature. There are a lot of risks involved with having sex, make sure you know what every single one of them is and how to handle them. No one can tell you when this time is or isn’t but you.

Why do guys mistreat so many women? I think the real question here is… why do so many women allow men to mistreat them?

Why do nice guys finish last? There is such a thing as nice and then there is too nice. Nicer guys tend to be more sensitive, which many women out there desire a great deal. It is not good to be sensitive all the time though, a man needs to seek a balance otherwise he is not going to be able to fulfill a woman’s needs in a complete sense. There are also guys out there that are to masculine, they also will run into problems because sometimes being sensitive is desired. Men who are either to sensitive or to masculine need to find a balance of the two.

Is porn a good reference for learning? Pornography is not a good reference for learning. Many of the stars in these movies are wearing make-up on their bodies and genitals. Fellatio techniques in porn are pretty much correct; cunnilingus techniques are normally very bad or virtually non-existent in modern porn. Many men today do love fast, rough sex more then soft and slow sex. There are a great deal of women though that do not like to have sex the way pornstars do and there are even some men who do not like doing things this way either. Sometimes people like it soft, sometimes hard, and sometimes a mixture of the two. Unless you are watching an instructional video then most of what you see is not something you want to regularly imitate.

Do women experience different orgasms? There are three different types of female orgasms… clitoral, blended, and uterine. Each of these orgasms has a different effect on a woman both emotionally and physically. While some women may experience intense clitoral orgasms them may find blended ones to be much weaker. Others may find blended ones to be very powerful and clitoral ones to be weak. Every woman you encounter will probably be different; the only way to know what ones work best on a woman is by asking the woman directly.

Is it wrong to cheat? I know this sounds like the dumbest question in the world, but I see more men ask this question, then I can honestly count. The definition of the word cheating is… to deprive of something valuable by the use of deceit or fraud, to influence or lead by deceit, trick, or artifice, to elude or thwart by or as if by outwitting, to be sexually unfaithful. The definition of unfaithful is… not adhering to vows, allegiance, or duty. The definitions speak for themselves, cheating is a dishonest, disloyal, and blatant act of cowardice.

I will point out though that if both your partner and yourself have come to an agreement of being swingers then having sex with another person would not be cheating. You will find though that many swingers do like to be involved in the activities together and thus some of them might consider solo activities with other people to be cheating. Basically, if you have sex with another person when married or even just dating without your partner Okaying it then it is cheating plain and simple.

Is it bad to be a virgin? Regardless of what age you are there is nothing at all wrong with being a virgin! The biggest drawback you will face from being an older virgin though is that you do not have sexual experience (obviously). Most people assume that sexual experience and sexual knowledge are the same thing. They assume that the more people you sleep with then the more abilities you will have. This is not true; most people who sleep around are acting on lust and therefore do not actually learn much since they get caught up in the moment over and over. If you happen to be an older virgin then I would especially recommend studying cunnilingus, fellatio, Kama-Sutra, and sexually transmitted diseases. Even if you only study a little bit off and on I will guarantee that by the time you have sex you will know considerably more then the person you end up having sex with.

People remain virgins for different reasons. They are either religious and do it because of a specific belief, they are waiting for that special someone, or maybe they just have not found anyone they can have sex with. If you are someone who is holding back due to religious beliefs or because you are waiting for that special someone then I think that the older you get, the more impressive it becomes. It takes considerably more self discipline to not act on sexual desire then it does to act on sexual desire. We all desire sexual pleasure at some point, I applaud anyone who can withstand the urge.

Is sex better with someone you care about? When you are having sex with someone you care about it will result in you being both emotionally and physically connected which can result in orgasms that travel throughout your entire body. When you have sex with someone you do not know very well or care about then you often only have an orgasm that mostly effects just your genitals and surrounding area. Anyone that has experienced these high levels of orgasm can tell you that an orgasm that effects your entire body is considerably more enjoyable then one that just effects a small portion of your body. Not only does the area of effect change but also the time in which some of these orgasms last can also change.

Is slower better? Slower sex allows for people to interact together more during the actual act. By allowing the possibility of more interactions it allows numerous areas of the body to be stimulated. When multiple areas of the body are stimulated it normally results in a stronger arousal. When your arousal is high it allows for the ability to have more intense orgasms. Often you will feel directly connected to the person you are with if they are slowly making love to you oppose to thrusting and thrashing into you. As many doctors have proven… orgasms are significantly more intense when emotionally connected then they are when you are not.

Is it wrong to look? It is not about looking being wrong! It is about knowing when to or not to look! Let’s face it, many people let their eyes wander twenty-four hours a day seven days a week. If you are out on a date then obviously you shouldn’t be letting your eyes wander. If you are out on a romantic evening with your serious girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, or wife then you should not be looking at all! Not only can looking at the wrong time be very bad, but also often there are comments that follow what our eyes see and much of the time these comments are rude and offensive. They are probably offensive to the person you are with and they are also probably offensive to the person in which they are directed at.

Is watching porn cheating? This really depends on the personal point of view between you and your partner. I would personally say that watching porn is not cheating. However… if you use it as a substitute for your actual partner on a frequent or long term basis then it is without a doubt cheating. It is different if you are in a long distance relationship where you do not have someone right there with you because obviously you are going to need to get your fix from something. This topic should be discussed with your partner(s). We all have a different point of view and you need to make sure that whomever you are with is aware of your needs and desires.

When a man engages in anal play, does it mean he is gay? The answer to this is a pretty obvious no. A man’s prostate is considered to be like the woman’s g-spot. The best way to stimulate this area is through anal activity. I would have to say that a man that could allow a partner or even himself when alone to massage this area to actually be very sexually secure. Never worry about the opinions of others when it comes to this issue. Many people consider this to be a taboo subject and thus frown upon it instead of dealing with it.

Do appearances matter? Like breast size or penis size, everyone cares about different things. There are a lot of people who will not give you the time of day unless you look a certain way. There are others who will not care what you look like.

What is fellatio? Fellatio is the proper term for when performing oral sex on a man.

What is cunnilingus? Cunnilingus is the proper term for when performing oral sex on a woman.

What is Kama-Sutra? In simple terms, Kama-Sutra is a collection of numerous sexual positions. Many of the position’s people do know and many are positions that no one would normally think of. If you have ever wondered what strengths and weaknesses are within each sexual position then I would recommend you taking a look at some of what Kama-Sutra has to offer. It is also a relationship manual in general that deals with everyday life and not just sex.

Is there such a thing as totally safe sex? You can take every precaution known to this world and there is always still a risk of sexually transmitted diseases or pregnancy. While the risks are very small, they are in fact still there. The only real form of safe sex is by either not engaging in sexual activities at all or by making sure you are in a committed relationship where you know each other and you sexual histories.

I find it funny that many people seem to think that sex is only meant for marriage. Even when you are married sex can still be risky! You once again need to handle sex in an adult attitude and manner otherwise there are numerous things that could result from being reckless.

Are one-liners bad? I do not think one-liners are bad. I think it is all in how you use them. It is very possible that you could end up saying something that another would consider to be generic and yet it actually is straight from the heart. Just be careful with how often you use these lines. If you truly mean it then it is fine… many do not mean what they say though.

Why do some women not like to perform fellatio? There are numerous reasons that could deter a woman from wanting to perform fellatio on a man. I would have to say that hygiene is probably the most common. Women wipe themselves off after they urinate where as most men do not. There are also a lot of men who do not frequently change their underwear. I remember back in school that there were several men on the football team that refused to change or wash any of their gear. I found this to be repulsive and I am a guy just like them. If I find it to be so repulsive then I can only imagine what some women might actually think of it.

Some women have very sensitive gag reflexes. This means that if they insert a penis (or anything else) into their mouths then it could result in them getting sick very easy or maybe just gag a little. Either way, obviously you do not want to agitate or aggravate something that is already sensitive.

Obviously these are not the only factors involved with this topic. It does however give you a good idea of ways to think when considering why some women might not like to do this.

Why don’t some men like receiving fellatio? There could be a list of reasons why some men do not like this activity. The head (glans) of a man’s penis can vary in sensitivity just like a woman’s clitoris can. While some can take a lot of pressure and stimulation others can not. Your partners teeth obviously get very close when they are performing fellatio, seeing as many guys almost worship their penis it could be very possible that this worry alone could deter them from allowing this activity. There are again more possible reasons; this is just to give you an idea of what a few of those reasons might be.

Why do some men not like to perform cunnilingus? I have met a lot of guys who believe that a woman urinates out of her vagina. This is not true, because of this though they are under the impression that the vagina is much dirtier then it actually is. This is the most frequent response I hear from guys, there are more possibilities but this is solid enough alone.

Why don’t some women like receiving cunnilingus? I think one of the primary reasons that women become squeamish about this is due to the fact that men crack jokes about how women smell. Comments such as, “close your legs, your breath smells,” or “I smell tuna.” I know these are very childish but they are said far to often especially amongst younger people. This goes back on the fact that you should be careful as to what you say. Sometimes what you say can have a bigger effect then you might think.

Some women have a very sensitive clitoris (clit) and they might not be able to take much pressure or stimulation without it resulting in discomfort or pain. Many men seem to think that the clitoris is the main thing they should focus on during cunnilingus. All women are different; guys need to focus on a variety of areas instead of just the most sensitive ones.

Once again there are more reasons as to why women would not allow a partner to perform oral activities on them. You now have a few ideas to help in your thinking though.

Why do some women need time to warm up before intercourse? The vagina is not very deep when a woman is not aroused. When she becomes aroused the uterus lifts a little and stretches the vagina out in preparation for intercourse. If a woman is penetrated before arousal takes effect it can do “very” serious damage that can not be fixed.


rm_lovelyLady 64F
434 posts
5/29/2005 11:03 am

"This goes back on the fact that you should be careful as to what you say. Sometimes what you say can have a bigger effect then you might think."

This is so true, in so many ways, for so many reasons...........

Great blog, Mystic!


LoyaltyandHonor 35M/31F
1241 posts
5/28/2005 4:16 pm

I have met a lot of guys who think that women urinate from the vagina. I can understand why they think that... but they really should look into it before they say it. It seems to be one of the reasons guys are skeptical about performing cunnilingus on a woman.


LoyaltyandHonor 35M/31F
1241 posts
5/28/2005 9:36 am

I need to update some of this...

For the most part though, it is as concrete as I can get it.


bella_ 47F
4030 posts
5/28/2005 8:50 am

I like this blog...informative. I learned something myself!


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