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Eating a woman out...
Eating a woman out...
Cunnilingus (Part One)
The following section is a look at cunnilingus in the 21st century. (It would appear that even today many people still do not know or like cunnilingus very much for different reasons. All of those things will be covered here).
Kama Sutra does not appear to consider cunnilingus a particularly useful activity since there is only one brief reference to it in the original manuscript. In the 21st century however, cunnilingus constitutes a valuable-and, for some, essential-element of a satisfactory sexual experience.
Why is there no mention of cunnilingus in many ancient African and Asian sexual techniques?
Most ancient cultures focused on penetration and uterine orgasm (the highest level of female ecstasy) and if you translate the text you will find that the text and modern medical information available proves the following:
The center of the uterine orgasm is jostling of the cervix. In my experience, stimulation of the clitoris results in the vagina ballooning upwards and thus causes tension on the cervix. Once tension has been placed to the cervix it will tighten and result in shutting off the vagina and the uterus. Without connection to the uterus it is impossible from then on to achieve a uterine orgasm. As stated above, anyone who has studied Kama Sutra or other ancient sexual forms knows that they teach mostly about sexual positions and sexual intercourse. The emphasis on being “do not stimulate the clitoris before intercourse or you shut off the ability to achieve high levels of orgasm”. They know cunnilingus (eating a woman out) is very pleasurable, but also knew (know) that it hinders orgasmic abilities during intercourse.
Although they did not engage in heavy cunnilingus, they did however often lick the labia very gently before inserting the penis. Why would they do this without working the clitoris too? It is proven that human saliva is close to the same consistency of natural vaginal fluid, and if the woman’s vaginal lips are coated with saliva, it will immediately encourage her arousal!
Remember that techniques take time and understanding. Without being able to understand how things work then you will not ever be able to be considered a “wonderful lover”. My focus is on “love-making” and not porn style sex. My advice and techniques will not work during “rough” sexual situations.
My techniques are a combination of Asian, African, and American culture.
Cunnilingus (Part Two)
What is cunnilingus? It is the proper terminology for when you are eating a woman out (licking her Pu***). There are numerous techniques you can use when performing cunnilingus on a woman. Before you can use these techniques though you first have to make sure the woman likes cunnilingus.
What are some possible reasons that a woman might not like you to go down on her (eat her out)?
There are many reasons that this could be and I can not name them all so here are just a “few”. Thanks to advertisers and the invention of the “need” to douche it has made millions (obviously not actually that many but pretty close) of women subconsciously insecure about their genitalia. Douching is not as needed as advertisers claim, the vagina is actually the cleanest part of a woman’s body and is “very” self-cleaning. There is also the fact that so many men make random and very immature comments such as, close your legs your breath smells, what’s that fishy smell, or mmm I smell tuna (and many more). While some “girls” might find this funny or attractive, many “women” probably do not (I am not a woman so maybe they can comment on this fact).
If you are with a woman who does not like or does not feel comfortable letting you eat her out then there are a few things you should try and do to help her relax. Helping hands do wonders! Stroking her thighs or her lower stomach while you kiss near or around her vagina is a very good thing. It will help keep her focus on the “areas” you are touching oppose to just the “one specific area” that you are touching. Always remind her that she both “looks” and “tastes” wonderful! Do not give her the opportunity to think otherwise. Take your time down there, while a fast sessions is good sometimes it can be more mentally uplifting to have a man like us down there for a prolonged period of time. As with sex, in most instances, it is better slower oppose to fast and furious. All you guys who like to get a blowjob should know that a hard sloppy sucking is not as good as a nice long soft job where a woman takes a very nice long time and uses a range of different techniques. It is no different for you men then it is for those women. As a matter of fact, female anatomy is harder to work then male anatomy. If you think women have a hard time pleasing some of you men when our bodies are so basic then just stop and think about how unpleased so many women might be by “our” performance. The longer you are down there the more emotional and physical it can become. Intercourse is very personal, but most sex therapists consider oral sex to be more personal then intercourse and personally “I agree” with them.
“A man should always make a point of pressing those parts of a woman’s body on which she turns her eyes.”
Human saliva is the closest thing to the same consistency of vaginal fluid. If a woman’s vaginal lips are coated with saliva, it will or should immediately encourage her arousal.
A few tips when performing cunnilingus:
Keep your partner involved but not to involved. You want her to relax as much as possible but she still needs to keep both a mental and physical connection. Clitoral exposure can be done in many ways; however, it is easiest to have a woman slide her hand down and pull back on her clitoral hood or pubic region to help you gain access. This is much more emotional cause she is the one personally giving you the ok to suck, lick, twirl, and flick deeper against or into her. Always work with her reaction as much as possible, the object is to please her the way she wants to be pleased and not just pleased according to your own personal preference.
The clitoris is probably the most sensitive nerve center of a woman’s body. For cunnilingus to work well, you should position yourself between your woman’s legs so you can cover her clitoris (clit) and genital lips (labia) with the broad blade of your tongue. Stroke your tongue upward over the shaft and head of the clitoris, then stimulate each side of the clitoris in turn (women have reported that the left side is usually more sensitive then the right), always working from the base to the top. Using featherlike strokes on the head of the clitoris and flicking the underside from side to side with the tip of your tongue will give your woman maximum pleasure and help her to climax.
Licking up the labia: Pass the blade of your tongue along and between the labia majora (large lips). Run your tongue up and down these crevices several times. You can also allow your tongue to dip in and out periodically as her arousal increases.
Penetrating strokes: Using first shallow strokes and then deeper and deeper ones, move the tip of your tongue up and down inside the opening of her vagina, as well as in and out.
Licking the clitoris: With the tip of your tongue, coat the clitoris with moisture by licking upward only. Try licking up one side of the clitoris and then the other rather then directly on it. (Many women find there is more sensation on the left side).
Twirling on the clitoris: Using the tip of your tongue, circle the top of the clitoris very lightly. Try this in a clockwise then a counterclockwise motion. (Some women are extremely sensitive and find that this action blunts their sensation, so be prepared to experiment).
You can lick the A.B, C’s on her vulva. Start with the capitols and then the lowercase, however, this is really a standby method for when all others will not work.
Lick in circles combined with open mouth embraces. (Always start with light sucks or kisses till she is fully aroused).
Lick lazy circles around the clitoris or the clitoral hood.
Cover her clitoral hood with your warm mouth; softly blow out as you very gently pump your tongue back and forth against her. (Never blow directly into the vagina, this is meant for the upper portion only. Blowing into the vagina directly can cause a build-up of pressure that can actually be fatal to a woman’s uterus and her).
Suck and nibble on one of the labia at a time making sure to alternate just like you would if you were sucking or caressing her breasts and nipples.
Cunnilingus (Part Three)
Many people in today’s society start having sex earlier then they are actually ready for. Masturbation is highly recommended for getting to truly know your own body well. Because many people do not like masturbation or feel it to be yucky, it leads to us all not knowing a great deal about our bodies. For this reason when I am with a woman for the first time I go out of my way to be partially clueless. I encourage her to softly rub herself while I am caressing her thighs or playing with her breasts so that I can get a general idea of what she “personally” enjoys. All women are different and not all techniques will work the same with everyone. Oral sex is like a mutual masturbation session (in some ways but not exactly). Not only does it show me some of what she personally desires and likes but it allows her to emotionally loosen up and show her that I am perfectly fine with her to let herself go. Many women hold back because of different insecurities set into them by various social reasons. These are the things you want to conquer first, if she doesn’t feel secure in letting her mind and body go free into the wild then your not going to be able to get the reaction that she could normally give.
While using your tongue is wonderful, sometimes it is also great to stop the tongue and focus on a very gentle genital massage in-between the oral. Many doctors and therapists recommend a genital massage sometimes in place of actual oral sex.
How can you mix the two?
Use your hands and fingers in a similar fashion as to how you would work your tongue. Be very gentle and technically “tease and please” your partner. I am not going to cover all the techniques again in this section cause really they are virtually the same. All you have to do is swap the tongue for one or two of your fingers doing the work. You can do this while sitting down right between her legs at first, and then once you really get it down you can continue to work her but stay up with her and kiss her lips, neck, breasts, or shoulders. With mutual masturbation, oral sex, or intercourse it is “very” important to not just focus on only one area of a woman’s body. If she tells you to do something specific then obviously do it, otherwise you should always be thinking about the “entire body” oppose to just the basic zones that most men think about. There is more to a woman’s body other then just her lips, breasts/nipples, clitoris, or vagina.
This applies to oral sex or masturbation as well; there is the labia minora, labia majora, anus, perineum, mons pubis, clitoral hood, clitoris, vagina, or the vaginal opening. I mention the vagina and the vaginal opening separately because sometimes just playing with the opening can be just as pleasurable as playing deeper within. (If you need a bigger breakdown of what each thing is that I just mentioned you will have to look them up). A woman’s genitalia involve just as many different parts as when you are fondling her upper body. Try and find a way to explore each one and eventually once you both know each other you can develop your own personal mixture of new pleasures.
As with sex, oral sex is much better between two involved or loving partners because it allows the two of you to grow together. The more complex forms of pleasure require you to actually know the recipient rather well. It is totally impossible to use lots of different techniques on someone and still give him or her high amounts of pleasure. If you are with someone you do not know and do not want to know then you should only pick and use a few solid techniques otherwise you may not give them a very good experience at all.
If you have issues with these things then the best thing to do is find a moment where you can talk about what is or is not working. Truthfully it is better to talk to the person you specifically are having trouble with then it is to ask another person. If you for some reason need advice still then it is better to ask another woman about proper oral sex techniques. Another women would know what it is like to have a vagina and to have it licked. Men do not have a vagina and therefore can not give as good of advice as another woman truly can.
Well that’s enough out of me, now it is time for some of the women here to give “all” of us gentlemen feedback. What do you ladies think? Do these things work for you? If I have missed something important then please add to what I have mentioned.
3/26/2005 8:09 pm
MW, I agree with finelady, listening is important. Everywoman is different, also every experence. One session I mite like it slow, another session fast, sometimes wetter than others, sometimes only tongue, others fingers added. I have no problem asking for what I want. Not everyone is as open as me, then the guy mite have to ask her what works for her. later E|
p.s. love your blog, this post in particulat brought back some great memories and made me hott, keep up the good work
3/24/2005 5:41 pm
I am working on a new one, it is considerably better, this one I did rather quickly. My new one focuses more on technique similar to my erogenous zones blog.|
3/24/2005 9:43 am
good article, will have to read it again soon... and i agree with finelady's comment completely.|