Divorce Issues...  

LoyaltyandHonor 35M/31F
3114 posts
8/2/2005 5:18 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Divorce Issues...

What is your opinion on marriage

Do you think people should have the right to get a divorce any time that they desire?

Don’t you think that the laws of countries should make people adhere to the marriage vows that they take when they get married?

LoyaltyandHonor 35M/31F
1241 posts
8/4/2005 2:10 pm

Well said and I totally agree funsailor...

LoyaltyandHonor 35M/31F
1241 posts
8/4/2005 2:09 pm

I agree pussin about the repeated cheater thing.

I think it depends on the level of the first cheat though...

If they offer an excuse then I would end it right off because that shows it will probably happen again and that they do not feel remorse over it.

pussinboots4u 50M/47F

8/4/2005 9:33 am

I agree that many people have the wrong idea about what marriage is about. I think that many people are even confused about what love is. You have the 2 year hump to get over - those are supposed to be the most difficult years, if you make it past that - you have a good chance. According to the same article, a succesfull marriage is one that lasted 7 years and they featured some couples who made it that far. I don't think I have ever laughed so hard in my life and at the same time I was extremely saddened by this.

We run from our problems. We think that once the butterflies are gone that the love must be gone. We fight for our jobs more than our marriages. We don't consider the affect upon the children.

Personally, I don't think (and never thought)that an affair is a reason to end a marriage. A repeated cheater is another story though.

We have been married for over 15 years now. The butterflies went away, the love remained, the respect for each other has always been there. And every so often, the butterflies come back and we feel like newlyweds again.

Obviously we do many things to spice up our marriage, but in all honesty - I don't think things would be much different if we hadn't chosen this lifestyle.

All this being said, I still think that people should have the right to get a divorce. I don't think that a woman or a man should have to put up with any sort of abuse - mental or physical. I don't think that one spouse should have to put up with a repeat cheating spouse - it is a form of mental abuse. I don't think that either spouse should have to put up with a sexless marriage, and I'm not talking about one partner not having the ability to perform, (that partner should still be able to do something to sexually please the other, sex is also a part of showing someone love, we never lose the want for being desired) - I'm talking about willingfully withholding sex for a long period of time. Also, some lies are just unforgivable, especially where children are involved.

I just don't think that I could trust a government to make a decision on someone's behalf of whether or not that marriage is healthy for that person.

Unfortunately, I also think that marriages should end in the case of mental breakdown of one spouse - especially where children are involved. 2 high profile cases of mothers killing thier children when they were depressed and prior occurances of depression have influenced me in the case of in sickness and in health.

funsailor84 32M

8/3/2005 9:31 am

I used to think that there was no reason for a marriage to end. That there was always a cure for any problem. I often said that I'd only get married once and that it would be perfect from the begining till when I died still married. Damn reality. What I've learned since then is that nobody is infallable in their choices. Once your spouse cheats on you, it's next to impossible to ever trust them again. In theory, a marriage unites man and woman as one, so to not trust your spouse is to not trust yourself; and that's just confusing. Having been cheatied on by my exwife, I can say that there are definitley times when a marriage needs to end, but only after you've exhausted any other option. Sometimes a spouse does cheat just as a way to end their marriage. For me, it was certainly a case of me jumping into someting before really giving it the time it deserved. I assumed that "love" was some sort of powerful force that could conquer anything. Classic mistake of only one partner being ready for marriage. Still, if marriages were given the respect they deserved, I'm sure that far fewer would end.

LoyaltyandHonor 35M/31F
1241 posts
8/3/2005 6:04 am

I am disturbed by your previous comment on sex and marriage papyrina...

According to you...

You asked what I thought of a person who sought out sexual pleasure if the partner can no longer have sex in the marriage.

Marriage is not about sex and thus if you truly loved someone you would accept their inability to still have sex and would NOT go off and have sex with someone else.

papyrina 51F
21133 posts
8/3/2005 4:54 am

so lets make it harder for abusers of women and some men to stay in these marriages ,rot.

Technically marriages is for procration only,the bible says very little on marriage.

It was invented to control the masses and more so women

I'm a

i'm here to stay

rm_QuietEyez 46F

8/2/2005 8:01 pm

Marriage is and should always be forever. You go into this commintment knowing this, you should think on that knowledge before you decide.

If divorce was harder to obtain, more people would enter a marriage with much more desire to fullfil a commetment, rather then just thinking of marriage as a FUN thing to do.

LoyaltyandHonor 35M/31F
1241 posts
8/2/2005 5:47 pm

I agree cuddely...

A lot of really nice people get screwed from marriages. A lot of states have 50/50 laws now so that even if you are a perfectly faithful parnter and your partner cheats, they get just as much in the divorce as you will.

The person who breaks the wedding vows should not legally be entitled to anything at all. Some states still see it this way but many do not.

LoyaltyandHonor 35M/31F
1241 posts
8/2/2005 5:44 pm

I am not sure screw but I feel the same way. To many people rush into sex, marriage and many other things in this world.

I have met some men who only see marriage as an oppertunity to have a life long sexual partner and they don't actually care about the partner other then sexually.

rm_Screw696969 40M/37F

8/2/2005 2:01 pm

I think there should be a law that people have to be together long enough BEFORE they get married. Too many people rush into things these days. Maybe they rush to divorce because they rushed to marry. Why are people afraid to take their time?

demonicsexkitten 41F
10671 posts
8/2/2005 12:59 pm

if the gov't is going to be placed in a position of regulating marriage, then there should be mandatory 'marriage classes' before getting married. of course, along those lines there should also be mandatory 'parenting classes' before people are allowed to have kids too. lol.

by making a country force ppl to adhere to marriage vows... you're wiping out the seperation of church and state. marriage can be seen as a secular thing, but it's base is in religion. Also, it should be part of society in general. in at least one religion that i know of... when a couple is married, their friends and families act as witnesses (though they only need 2 witnesses). if they later have trouble and want to divorce... it is the responsibility of their witnesses, friends and families to intervene. mainly families. if the couple themselves can't work their differences out... the family gets called in. they sit and discuss, offer advice, with the couple and with eachother to try and get things worked out. then the religious leader is called in if need be. divorce, while allowed, is allowed only as a 'last resort'. while i myself am against divorce... i do not see a problem with divorcing if nothing else works.

i think your strict view on divorce, and that a person should only be allowed ONE divorce then not allowed to marry again is unrealistic. it takes TWO people to make a marriage work. if only one is doing all the compromising and adjusting and trying to save the marriage, then that person will give until they're just a hollow shell. or what about domestic violence situations? unless the man comes to terms with his problem (or woman... it goes both ways) and sincerely wants and gets help... then all the attempts to make a marriage work and keep from having a divorce on the abused-ones side may only end up in a 'permanent' divorce... ie: death. sometimes divorce is the ONLY option. Also, i know some that have married young, and then discovered that as they matured and grew up... their goals in life became too different, and they drifted apart. the one friend i heard of... they tried everything to make their marriage work, including counseling, and calling parents and a few well-trusted friends in to help them. but for whatever reason, they just couldn't pull it back together. i admit some just see a hard spot and run, without ever facing it or trying to fix it.

the other issue with making marriage regulated by government is that it's also a cultural practice. some cultures just traditionally view marriages totally different than we do. though i guess, in that case, USA already regulates marriages, in the fact that polygamy is illegal. and of course there's the entire gay-marriage issue.

cuddlykittenn 42F

8/2/2005 8:33 am

i think people should not be able to get a divorce any time they choose and that they should be forced to seek counceling to learn how to over come their diffrences and problems before being allowed to seperate. too many people just decide to cheat on their mate and when they get caught... wipe their hands of the whole relationship and move on... it seems like this happens alot and the "good" person in the relationship has to pay with their feelings, not to mention getting stuck being the "responsible" one and cleaning up the loose ends.

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