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In response to a recent comment…
To be honest, I think we all face the problem of communication with our partners from time to time. Telling someone they are doing something right or wrong can be a tough thing. When you incorporate this into sex, it is even harder.
I think the only way to figure it out is to analyze what is wrong. If they are doing something that hurts us, we need to speak up about it. If they are doing something that doesn’t have a direct effect on us then it is a toss up. It would be good to say something but then again, since it does not affect us, it might not be worth possibly upsetting them.
The hardest part about sex is being equal…
We all want pleasure and we are inclined to do what we can to get the most pleasure we can as often as we can.
I could sit down and tell my girlfriend that she needs to be a little more aggressive (rougher) when she is performing fellatio on me. I don’t bother saying it though because it still feels “wonderful.” A little bit of extra pleasure for me is not worth it to me since it might offend her.
The only times I speak to her about something is when she is actually hurting me during sex.
What is other people’s opinion of this matter…?
Do you speak up about anything and everything?
Do you only speak up about things that are immediately important?
What is considered as an important sexual issue?
Do you disregard your partner’s feelings and only focus on your own?
3/31/2006 5:20 pm
Sometimes I speak up. like... "harder" "softer" "faster" "more" "lets try a different position"... those are easy. |
But if he is doing something but it's not quite right... i mean i've already let him know my preference, and he's trying but it's still just not it... i tend to stay quiet. the actual way i handled it was i stayed quiet... then a few days later i messaged a few sisters here on AdultFriendFinder to see if they had any advice on how to handle it (they said speak up, say what you want. but i already do). Then next time we were together i said "i don't know how to say this... it wasn't quite right but i just have no idea how to explain it so it IS right". He wasn't hurt at all... just smiled and said "well, then, we'll just keep trying till i DO get it right".