Avoiding Dating Troubles  

LoyaltyandHonor 35M/31F
3114 posts
2/17/2005 12:07 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Avoiding Dating Troubles


Dating

In today’s society many men and women get pressured into sexual situations that they do not actually want to be in. Unfortunately it is because of lack of imagination and creativity that allows this kind of negative things to take place. Overall this effects the younger age groups more then the older ones, but still does effect the older ones. How do you go about avoiding this unwanted pressure? Well I can not speak for everyone; all I can do is speak for myself. I am going to explain how and why I do things the way I do and maybe it will help others to think in a slightly more mature and creative way.

When it comes to sex and relationships I am very picky. I do not like rough, wild encounters; instead I prefer sensuality, passion, intensity, and eroticism. Obviously I can not just meet some random woman and hop into bed with her and make love to her. I can be passionate with her, but not as well as I could if I got to know her a little first. I don’t want to have to wait forever; therefore I have to go on dates that allow me to get to know her better and faster. Obviously if you go to a bar all you are going to do is drink. If you go to modern dance clubs then all you are going to do is end up bumping and grinding like Neanderthals.

Luckily I am naturally a passionate and romantic person; I prefer art galleries, museums, opera, ballet, figure skating, and the symphony. By going to the places I like to go it takes higher levels of creativity and imagination between you and your date in order to have fun. Not only do I get to do something I enjoy, but also it helps me get a look inside of her and how she thinks, feels, and operates.

Most of the times I prefer to leave sex till the 4th or 5th date. In most cases I will not even consider kissing a woman till the 2nd or 3rd date. I am young and there is no reason for me to rush or force a woman into something until she is totally ready for it and knows a thing or two about passion and sensuality. Sometimes I have found myself in very heavy make-out sessions on a 3rd date; I cut it off before it gets to involved though. The point of making out the first few times is to discover another’s erogenous zones, which will help when having sex later.

In today’s society there are so many STD’s and other various possible risks (like pregnancy). You can still have sex with people or even a lot of people but you “must” be careful how you go about doing it. I guarantee most people (men more then women) will lie about past sexual activities if they have to in order to get you into bed with them. Sadly enough in today’s society this can risk serious things upon a person.

I know there are a great deal of women out there that wish men would be less aggressive. I think many women can verify that this fact won’t be changing anytime soon and may only get worse and worse as time goes one.

For that reason it is primarily a woman’s responsibility to slow things down. If you do not want to engage in fast activities then you have to be vocal about it. Women now have equal rights of men, and for some reason many women do not treat themselves to equal rights. As several female sex therapists put it “women today do not hold up the sexual role that they are responsible for”. Men also need to learn that “no” means “NO”.

All of this gives an example that it is still possible to be passionate and caring even with someone you do not know. Many sex therapists in today’s world have claimed it is totally impossible to make love the first time you have sex. Funny thing is, look at religion. Some of those people date for 2,3 or maybe 4 years before they have sex on their wedding night, obviously they make love to each other and that alone proves modern sex therapists to be wrong. Sex can be anything you want it to be dating can be anything you want it to be. A little bit of imagination and creativity goes a very long ways. Never allow yourself to be pressured into something you do not want to be pressured into. Men sometimes get pressured into things, but more women get pressured daily then most men ever will in a year.

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