Smedly Super Gophr - Blog First Post.  

Lovelybt5 42F
75 posts
3/26/2006 4:46 pm

Last Read:
3/28/2006 5:31 am

Smedly Super Gophr - Blog First Post.

Written by SmedlySuperGophr first post…..

Smedly’s Favorite Saying: “Without Trials and Problems Minds are Weak and the Spirit Lacking for the Zest of Life!”

What Does He Do? Smedly, like many of us, wanders from moment to moment throughout life trying to stay sane in an ocean of insanity.

I been reading this guy’s journal ‒

I can relate in so many ways, this one passages hit me hard.

I have to agree, through my trails of hardship, going through a divorce. Trying to find a job and getting back on my feet, raising two kids alone.

Sometime, I feel swallowed up by a sea of trouble waters, swimming constantly trying to stay at float. No matter what, if I just see a peek of sun light my way. I end up drowning and the feeling of cusec phobic (if that's the correct spelling) sits in, the feeling like my mind is going to explode. Everything just caves in….acting out is the only solution.

Writing the madness with in my mind helps some, it’s just a floatie until an actual rope of rescue comes my way. Crying just releases theories of -what ifs- towards the situation sometimes and I can’t escape it, like waves after waves hitting hard, being pulled in as a under- toe would.

But writing it out, letting the screams of anger with in my mind and imagining as a fictional character and writing a way out or a better solution or a happy ending. Is the only thing I can come up with to just stay alive through some of my issues and troubles with in.

Sometimes I’m just kidding myself, for deeply I know. It will never be that way, for I never truly get what I want. I would work for it and keep trying and trying.

With Depression or Anxiety -You need to reach out to talk to someone, is like for me some rope as a life preserver to help me see that the issues and problems with in are really nothing or I’m making a big deal out of it.

It helps talking to someone as close friend to throw that rope, sometimes two minds are better than one.

In a relationship - when you love someone so much, you keep trying and trying….all they do is pushes you away, for they think you’re drowning them or getting to close. Yet you don’t understand why…..for in relationship. You work at it and you keep trying to build on it…

Sometime I just say….I just going to drown and stay hidden from people, cause I dam as I do and I’m dam if I don’t…..

SmedlySuperGophr 52M

3/27/2006 7:15 pm

Wow .. thanks for sharing. Funny how that saying stuck with me all these years. When I first started using this site, I was just trying to find a place to chat, meet people and generally be social. Little did I expect the vast variety of people just trying to make it through life without killing anyone (so to speak). In sharing with this community and reading the thoughts of so many others, like yourself, I've learned a bit more about myself in the process.

Now, I've been so busy leaving notes on other blogs that I've neglected mine ... I hope to remedy that shortly.

I can't tell you how many times I reached for a rope that wasn't there and had to save myself from the pit of despair. I was almost not successful twice and can't tell you why I didn't die except it wasn't my time yet, I guess. It certainly does not get any easier ... but then life would be pretty boring and we wouldn't learn anything.

A bit of boredom now and them would be nice........


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