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A New Direction
A New Direction
OK, that was all fun but it's really not all that different than beating off in the shower. I have always been a sexual person and the last two years have been really hard for me to handle. My wife and I were never the 7 nights a week addicts (except for the first year or so) but we had regular relations right up about 25 months ago. Then life as I knew it suddenly stopped! I tried everything to revive the excitement, to no avail. At first it was a headache, or diarrhea or her period, or a stomach ache, you get the picture. The past six months or so it has just been "no" and the past month it has been "NO". Yesterday, before I left for my 5 day business trip it was "HELL NO, DON'T ASK ME AGAIN!".
Up until about six months ago my wife (53 Y denied that she was in menopause. Then her doctor told her that the blood tests don't lie, she was in full swing. Thankfully she is not plagued by the hot flashes or the cold flashes but the mood swings don't pass this house by! Five months of therapy with a marital relations therapist have been counter productive. When she first started the therapy she only said "no" and now it's "HELL NO". I guess the therapy is doing something for her self image but it's blasting mine all to hell.
I know that I'm to blame to some extent. I often talked and fantasized while we were having sex and the fantasies usually involved someone else, sometimes a teenager (as if a nubile young hottie would have any interest in a flabby old 50+ Y. Last Thursday night my wife told me for the FIRST time that it made her feel inadequate to talk about someone else. I had no idea, I thought she was in on the fantasy as well. We have a good friend (attractive, mid 30's, nice body) who I often talked about while we were making love, My wife was the one who brought her name up, I thought it was her idea. Bad idea (although the idea of sex with that friend is a very exciting concept).
I am tired of Rosy Palm and her five fingers so today I spent a couple of hours prowling through the "Couples" ads for the local area on AdultFriendFinder. There are tons of them, the only down side is that most of the couples are 30-40 YO's with a handful of early 20's thrown in. I mostly ignored the young ones, as much as it hurt my ego to do so, and concentrated on the late 30's and 40's. I replied to a BUNCH of ads. I was honest about my age, marriage status, and overall sexual frustration. I don't want people to think that I'm begging for a mercy fuck but in some sense that what I am doing. I have already received a couple of "No Thank You's" and I know there will be many more to come. I only hope that someone will find me interesting enough to strike up a conversation with me. I only hope this doesn't further shatter my marriage, I love her tremendously and don't want to hurt her.
Let's see how the next couple of weeks go with all my query's and their responses. I still may go forward with some of the offers I have had for same-sex encounters. I'll have to make a decision on that by this weekend because that is when we have tentatively set up a "date" for me to get my ass reamed.
We have all heard that men think of sex every XX seconds (don't remember the number). I know in my case it seems to be true, I look at nearly every woman I see in an evaluative manner. Why is that? A celibate life style is just not for me!
Oh well, enough for me now.