Why not him?  

Lookng4RealMan 65F
2355 posts
7/1/2006 8:46 pm
Why not him?


Why is it I can have terrific NSA sex with anyone but him? From the time we first met on Yahoo nine years ago his voice stirred something deep inside me. He got angry at me about 7 1/2 years ago and cut me off. I didn't hear from him for more than 6 years. Last year we hooked up again and it was like it never ended, maybe better, at least for me, apparently not him. He left again 6 months later telling me he wanted just NSA and I wanted more. I didn't realize I wanted anything more than he did, but anyway....
Since then I have continued to hook up with some long time friends that I knew long before him, and also several new friends. I've had sex 4 times this week. All wonderful men who have satisfied me well. Still I think about this guy. I hear his voice in my head. When I masturbate it's his face I see in my mind. I've been to therapy several times. I've read every "self help" book at the library. I'm even seriously considering quitting my job and moving to another state to get away, but I'm afraid he will haunt me forever. Why can't I just stop? I need to get over him and I can't. Why? I can forget the rest when they walk out the door. Not him. I know he doesn't want me, but still I can't stop wanting him. Am I really crazy or what's wrong with me???

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