More drama with my former friend  

Lookng4RealMan 65F
2355 posts
8/11/2006 3:52 pm
More drama with my former friend

More drama with my former friend and her new psycho friends. After she told me stop harassing her, I started getting a lot of porn spam at work, plus some emails confirming that I signed up for some kind of porn newsletters. Porn is seriously frowned upon where I work(a religious organization). My "friend" knows this as she used to work at the same place. I deleted everything, but also sent my "friend" an email telling her about our new spam protection and told her that she needed to stop playing games and that if this was over the guy, then she should have told me. I mean, I live over 200 miles away, what threat could I be to any relationship he wanted to have? Today I get emails from some psycho saying it was not my friend that wanted the guy, it was her and only her. And that she was going to start harassing me and playing games with me the way I was playing them with my "friend". And told me to go ahead and report her because I could not stop her or find her. She basically promised to keep it up until she has enough evidence to have ME arrested. Am I wrong to be afraid? I mean this is a terrible way for a 6 year friendship to end. I guess I should never again be concerned when a friend is in an abusive relationship and I can't reach her? I did report everything to my boss and my IT department at work. Do I need to call the police myself if it does not stop? I've never had anyone treat me like this before. And it's someone I don't even know.

sexymamma662003 31F

8/11/2006 4:35 pm

i would save all the e-mails and print them so that you can take them to the police.

also save them on your PC so that they if need to may be able to trace this person and arrest them for harrassment.


Lookng4RealMan replies on 8/11/2006 5:56 pm:
Some people at work told me that the police won't be able to help. The police were my first thought too. I mean, the guy was good, but not worth this kind of crap.


8/11/2006 4:44 pm

Absolutely make a report with the police. You never know what these nuts will do, so you need this documentation to back you up. I'd also advice recording your phone calls if you happen to get one of them on the phone.

Lookng4RealMan replies on 8/11/2006 6:04 pm:
I think I will wait until Monday and talk to people at work, since I work in another town and file a report there. My office is closed on the weekends so they would not be able to do much anyway. It's got me so creeped out. I mean, I'm a nice person. I thought my friend was a nice person too. Then this crap started. Now I'm afraid.

rm_aprildawnn 64F
29 posts
8/12/2006 8:47 am


you do need to report it to the police in both the town where you live and where this person lives. it happened to my 12 yr old niece on my space where some 14 yr old in NJ had told her he knew where she lived, and he was going to come that night , beat her up, her and kill her... her mom called the police here, gave his handle and the comp experts tracked him down and notified the police in his town. the kid was arrested.
tha authorities are no longer taking this as something to pass off anymore. so yes, protect yourself by any and all means. these are sick people you are dealing with.
i hope you don't mind me butting in.

Lookng4RealMan replies on 8/12/2006 11:31 am:
Thanks for your input Aprildawn. So far I have not gotten messages at home, only at work. The first time I get one at home I will call the police. My IT department at work is going to block the address the emails came from, but if I get even ONE more there, I will also be calling the police. I just wish I knew what this is all about? Ok, so apparently it is about some man, but my friend is married with at least 3 other boyfriends. She claimed this one was nothing special. Why they seem to want to get me fired, I'm not sure. My "friend" is on this website though, but fortunately as only a standard member. I may have to leave for a while though or at least change my ID here and it's a shame because I like it here. Besides all I'm guilty of is being concerned about a friend in an abusive marriage.

pauljames44 72M  
263 posts
8/12/2006 11:18 am

Threats are NEVER to be taken lightly. You absolutely should document everything! Dates, times, the exact language that was used, etc. Also, letting others know of each instance when it happens is the smart thing to do.

In spite of the past friendship, I would highly, highly recommend you forget about her. There is obviously something going on with her and possibly her husband that is more serious and involved than you know, and by inserting yourself into the picture, can only result in more drama and turmoil, not to mention putting your own safety in danger. You don't want to end up being a story on the 10 o'clock news, so just go on with your life. This too, shall pass.

Lookng4RealMan replies on 8/12/2006 3:45 pm:
No, I do not want to be a story on the 10:00 news. Last year another friend (and co-worker) of mine came home from work to find her house on fire with her husband and daughter dead in the house. I remember what it felt like seeing her on the 10:00 news and how it made me feel. I don't want anyone I know to feel that way ever. I am documenting everything and if it happens again, I have no trouble calling the police.

As for her problem, I know that because her husband is Nigerian, she worries that if she really does try to divorce him, he will try to take their child back to Nigeria with him. But I guess it's none of my concern any more.

We'll talk soon Paul. Thanks for your concern.

rm_aprildawnn 64F
29 posts
8/12/2006 2:40 pm


well, i am sure that her husband or whoever it is she is harrasing you over has turned her head against you... probably telling her all kinds of things about you. who knows. but yes, it is hard when you care about someone to not get involved, but unfortuneately this is learning the hard way.
when you intervene they both turn on you i dont know why, but it happens. sorry you are going through this but dont let them run you off, change your dress (lol) and come back smiling

Lookng4RealMan replies on 8/12/2006 3:53 pm:
NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED! Is absolutely true, especially as I get older. Friends get sick or have problems, I show concern, offer help or support and it's not long before it comes back to bite me in the ass (and not in a fun way!) I appreciate it when people show their concern for me, but I guess not everyone is like that. Every time it happens, it takes me longer and longer to get close to people. I spend too much time home, hiding from the world. Or most recently, here blogging and offering suggestions and advise (good or bad) to strangers. I'm helpful and submissive by nature which I guess also makes me an easy target.

Thanks again for your concern.

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