Darn It  

Lonelywoman56 60F
45 posts
12/27/2005 6:54 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Darn It

What happened to the days when I would wake up and everything was clear? My life so easily mapped out, all the days activities neatly planned and organized, I keep expecting that and its not happening anymore. I get up to early I get up to late, I piddle around wasting moments that are gone forever. I have to concentrate on what I need to do, focus on the most important and try to stick to it. Even the smallest distraction grinds me to a halt. What happened to the time when I was unstoppable, what ever dream crossed my mind I made into a reality.
Perhaps the dreams were the problems. The dream of my little paradise where nothing could get to me or touch me,I built it all right, peice by peice, crooked nails, splinters and spilled paint.
Freedon from life, freedom from a reality that always wanted to harm me. I do love it here, I don't know what it is I'm reaching out for. Those that do not learn from the past are doomed to repeat it. I'm still so easily swayed, soft, kind words that manipulate my soul. I long to be hard, untouchable, a moron who doesn't care. What a releif from thinking, always thinking, proccessing, wondering. Can't I just please turn it off, just sit outside in a chair and relax. Mindless.

rm_ohsolustful 58M
859 posts
12/27/2005 11:54 am

Life is what you make of it, sounds like you need to find some things to do with your spare time, try organizing a care package among your friends for our troops or donating some time with a worthwhile group.....nothing better to get ya out of the doldrums than helping others

Lonelywoman56 60F

12/30/2005 7:49 am

You are soooo right lusty

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