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dreams of the dead
dreams of the dead
I had a very painful dream last night.
I dreamed Alice came back to life.
Alice and Beth, two friends of mine in high school, died in a car accident on an icy highway in January. Their death was a huge blow to all of us. Alice, especially, was well-loved; genuine, spontaneous, a talented musician and artist, she had an energy and joy that everyone around her felt and tried to reach through her. She and Beth died in the car along with Alice's boyfriend Antonio. The last thing she ever wrote in her blog was how much she loved him.
In my dream, I was pushing a cart of books like we have in the library. I was pushing it past a set of glass doors leading into some kind of arcade. I did a double-take when I saw two girls about to enter the doors; I stared, trying to figure out if they were who I thought they were. One of them saw me looking, and grinned. It was Alice.
I fell to my knees. "Alice!" I cried. "Alice! I-we- we all thought you were dead!"
She came over to me. "Surprised?" she said. "Look! I'm alive again!"
I grabbed her and held her close to me. Even in my waking hours I can remember the warmth of her skinny body in my arms.
"You have to say hi to everybody," I said. "John- Lenore- everyone will be so happy to see you."
"I can't stay long," she said gently. "I have to go inside." She waved at the glass doors, where Beth was waiting on the other side.
I don't remember exactly what happened next, but I do remember my best friends John and Lenore showing up and embracing Alice as well. I awoke with a warm, glowing feeling. Alice was alive after all!
It took awhile for the truth to hit me. It had been a dream. Alice is dead; I'd seen her in her coffin, her makeup giving her a pallid green complexion, hands folded, so still and silent. She died and was cremated. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. She is gone and won't come back.
The dream was a disillusion, and the morning is rainy and cold, and I have no choice but to sink back to reality.
10/12/2005 5:26 pm
I am sorry to hear that, that is very sad I used to have dreams like that after my dad died when I was 20 was very hard sometimes when I would wake up in the morning|
10/14/2005 6:35 am
i still dream of my little brother. he was 19 when he commited suicide. i was one of the first to find him after he jumped. at least in my dreams he is healthy and happy, and not the crumpled broken Christian that i said good bye to.|