A Disturbing trend: Keys are getting longer.  

Lipator 56M
54 posts
6/21/2005 3:01 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

A Disturbing trend: Keys are getting longer.

I have just moved into a new apartment and have found my apartment key to be disturbingly long. I believe that this may be a new trend that could have dire consequences if left unhindered.

A little history. When I first started work in the 70's I was given 3 keys which had access to various areas of the facility.

The first was a square key. More like a cube really but a key none the less. It was to give me access emergency equipment like fire extinguishes and the like.

The next was a key called a “W” key. Now I always thought they got it wrong and it was an “M” key it was just upside down. Don't know what the “W” stood for but an “M” could have stood for modern. And modern it was, with its nice serated edge and pithy short length. This key was elegant in all ways modern and I could have easily kept it in my shirt pocket except for the square key and of course the “F” which I am coming to.

The “F” key was right out of the dark ages. It was the sort of key that the gaoler had in the typical western. It was about 6” long and had this fat nobbly thing on the end, presumably to tumble the tumbers, though I'm not I lock smith so I really wouldn't know about that. The “F” key was to be replaced by the “W” key and rightly so. It's just that when I started work there in the 70's and left in the mid-eighties it was still being used. I found the “F” key quite unsafe as it was prone to stick in places you really didn't want it sticking. Some of the gay guys tended to fondle the nobbly thing a little too affectionately for a young strapping kid out of highschool and definitely sure that he was straight. I prayed they would get rid of that key but it was there until I left and have not forgotten it.

Now I was talking about moving into a new apartment and sure enough the keys are getting longer. Given my history with keys, I am concerned that the key is a good half length longer than my former key. I already have rather chunky things on my key ring like my car alarm thingy, my car key which is chunky as well, and another device that kind of buzzes me into all sorts of places like the pool and gym. I'm finding that if I put all these extra keys on my key ring, my pockets will have little room for anything else. Given that I am a horder, this is a problem. Then there is the safety issue. When I sit down in my car, it is possible I could be impaled by my very own keys. That will be a news story worthy of the Orange County Register. The Examiner back home would even carry that one.

My present solution is to denude my key ring, just carrying the most important keys and buzzer things and see if I can get by. If anybody has a better solution would love to hear.


rm_jayR63 59F
1884 posts
6/21/2005 4:24 pm

Sometimes late at night my keys get longer but they're back to normal in the AM

Lipator 56M
71 posts
6/21/2005 8:48 pm

Yes I know what you mean, the main thing is they get back to normal. jayR63

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
7/6/2005 10:14 am

Keep what is important and toss out the rest!!

Become a member to create a blog