Deep Thoughts  

Linds1957 59F
14777 posts
8/8/2006 9:23 am

Last Read:
8/9/2006 5:40 pm

Deep Thoughts

It's hot out again.. When is my lawn going to get some rain so it can turn green again???

Some people just have no clue what they're doing wrong.. or how to change for the better.. It seems like they want to know, so you tell them. Then they don't listen, and they don't change a thing.
So then, they really did not want to know what to do to change, because they are not really willing to change anyways.

Someone close to me is like this..I read a note addressed to me when I got up this morning. It was an apology for being a disappointment. This person seems to want to change.. Always says they are sorry.. Then they go and do everything exactly the same way as before. So really, it's an apology for past, present, and future behavior, because as much as they say they want to be better behaved, they are not going to change one bit. Am I supposed to just accept that they are never going to change? In fact, it's just going to get worse because this person has alzhiemer's disease. So is that fact supposed to make me feel sorry for them?
They are still treating me badly.

I dunno..I'm frustrated that things are not going to change, not really..And I'm sad that things are going to get worse...But..It was touching to get an apology in written form.

rm_RingOtaku 34M
241 posts
8/8/2006 1:59 pm

Linds best I can tell you is that no matter what we are all ultimately only responsible for ourselves. You can be there for this person and try your best to help them but you have to wait for them to be ready to take that first step. Until then do what your heart tells you is for the best.

And remember no matter how bad it gets you always got my weekly porn blogs.

Linds1957 59F

8/8/2006 5:01 pm

lol.. thanks...

blue061245 70M
331 posts
8/8/2006 6:16 pm


My sister and her ex-husband were having some difficulties. He had developed a tumor (non-cancerous) that affected his brain, in particular his perception and reasoning. His personality was also affected. She called me and e-mailed me several times, and once asked me if it was possible to grant forgiveness for future events. I thought about it and told her "No."

One can forgive the past. Logically, one can forgive the present, but the present is only a fleeting instant. The moment an action is complete, it is already in the past.

If one tries to grant forgiveness for the future, one is really granting permission for something. A cornerstone of forgiveness is (or should be) an undertaking by the offender to try not to repeat the behaviour in future. This implies that, to the extent he has control over his actions, he should try to recognize what goes wrong and how, and co-operate in efforts to try to ensure that the circumstances are not repeated. None of us is perfect, and from time to time we all fall down, but there should be an honest effort at preventing any recurrence of the offensive behaviour.

By all means, forgive what has already happened. But make it clear that you expect him to do his part to try to avoid repetition.

Linds1957 59F

8/8/2006 7:53 pm

I guess the point is on granting forgiveness for what he actually knows he's doing wrong, that he said he was sorry for..The other stuff.. all the annoying things he does.. the things he forgets.. the total lack of good judgement sometimes..all that stuff .. I guess I have to not mind it...?? Like my sisterinlaw said.. she doesnt know how long i will be able to stand this...

Linds1957 59F

8/9/2006 5:40 pm

Thanks BC ... I appreciate every bit of advice I get...

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