Playing for the "other" Team  

LilSquirt_4mfm 67M/67F
posts
10/17/2005 10:41 am
Playing for the "other" Team


Ok ..... You Caught Me !!!

But, SO WHAT ..

So?, I Play for the "Other Team" Once in a While ...

SO WHAT!!!



LilSquirt_4mfm 67M/67F
3394 posts
10/18/2005 9:10 pm

A Change of Pace!!! This one hit home !!!

THE LETTER

Dear Friend.
How are you? I just had to send a note to tell you how much I care about you.

I saw you yesterday as you were talking with your friends. I waited all day hoping you would want to talk to me too. I gave you a sunset to close your day and a cool breeze to rest you ‒ and I waited. You never came. It hurt me, but I still love you because I am your friend.

I saw you sleeping last night and longed to touch you brow, so I spilled moonlight upon your face. Again I waited, wanting to rush down so we could talk. I have so many gifts for you! You awoke and rushed off to work. My tears were in the rain.

If you would only listen to me! I love you! I try to tell you in blue skies and in the quiet green grass. I whisper it in leaves on the trees and breathe it in colors of the flowers, shout it to you in mountain streams, give the birds love songs to sing. My love for you is deeper than the ocean, and bigger than the biggest need in your heart!

Ask me! Talk to me! Please don’t forget me. I have so much to share with you!

I won’t hassle you any further. It is your decision. I have chosen you and I will wait.

I love you. Your friend,
God


KMA5 40M
771 posts
11/30/2005 12:07 pm

nice sentiments
I'm not going to confession because of it but it was very nice


LilSquirt_4mfm 67M/67F
3394 posts
1/4/2006 1:56 pm


Yes. it is special ...it just popped up out of nowhere

and GRABBED ME!!

LilJessicaSquirt_GotMajorGooseBumpsToo


dayman7 57M

2/3/2006 12:08 pm

Lil,
Very sentimental, I wish I could believe, but I'm afraid I lost my faith along ago. The things I have seen and learned about in this world have jaded me to the point where I look for a hidden adgenda in every act of charity I see or hear of. The efficiency by which we harm each other weighs heavily on my soul. After the atrocities of Nazi Germany, Rwanda, Somalia or even the Killing Feilds of Cambodia I question whether there is a god.

I was raised as a catholic and I was disgusted to learn that a priest is allowsd to and actually expected to lye to spare the church from scandal such as pedophilia. The Cardinal from Boston that was proven to cover-up the acts of priests beneath him was actually promoted to the Vatican after the scandal broke. He was one of the 7 priests given the honour of performing Pope John Paul's funeral mass.

I wish I could believe the words of hope you have posted but I see god as a god of vengence, not a god of love, who for whatever reason has turned his back to me. People never describe themselves as "god loving" people but rather as "god fearing" people. I am happy for you, for the fact that you still have hope, but I am afraid that I no longer keep any for myself.

I would close by saying may god bless and keep you, but the salutation now rings hollow for me. I apologize if my post offends anyone, that is not my intent, but they are my honest feelings.

dayman


LilSquirt_4mfm 67M/67F
3394 posts
2/5/2006 2:10 pm

dayman .... please, there is NO offence in that .. just from the heart .....I WILL reply to this, BUT not till i am in mood and time to adress it as it deserves .. .a quickie responce would be insult to it and u.

thanks again for your input and personal feeling ..... will be back to it FOR SURE

Again, your presence has made me smile ... even as we discuss serious and often soooo sad things
THANK YOU
Very Best To You Dayman
J.


LilSquirt_4mfm 67M/67F
3394 posts
2/5/2006 4:00 pm

KM ...trying to envision u at confession ..... on your knees ..... moving closer to u .... lifting my skirt ..... oh your SO Bad ....lil

jessica MADE me say that!!!!!!

sure is convenient having an alter ego to blame things on ..... shoulda thot of that concept long ago .. lol


LilSquirt_4mfm 67M/67F
3394 posts
2/5/2006 4:14 pm

dayman

gonna go over your comment with my mate and place comment jointly or at least when he has some input .... he has had so many unbelievable tradgedies in his life ...

not to himeself, but has lost SO many close and around him ... me also i guess, some result of being close to him and his children ... plus plenty of my own .... not as in what happened to you ... but to those around him ...

not as in injuries like for you with ongoing consequences .. .but of sudden horrible death. So, different as in type, but horrendous in their own way..... potentially discouraging as to life itself

We will reply, when we feel we can do so .. up to the standard ...that your comment and your own life deserve.

Very Best To You Dayman ... Thank you
J.


dayman7 57M

2/6/2006 2:36 pm

Dear Lil,

Please do not take too long to reply as my membership expires Feb.10.
I have already given up my search for a couple who would be able to see the man and not just my injury. When my membership expires I will leave this site permanantly as I find simply being a voyeur too frustrating and does nothing to satisfy my urges and desires. I have really enjoyed the conversations we have had, it is so refreshing to find someone who actually "thinks" rather than responding to media hyperbole or soundbites. You will be missed.

With great respect,
dayman


LilSquirt_4mfm 67M/67F
3394 posts
2/7/2006 8:37 am

I will say what is in my soul to you ... that is all i can do ... maybe you will find even just a morsel to chew on a bit ... i hope you do .... at the least , you will know "what is me, my soul" ... at most you may find a bit of help in finding "what is you ... what is your soul" ... and why that is all that matters to me .. the other stuff, without belittling anything, is just flack along the wayside.

Lil,
Very sentimental, I wish I could believe, but I'm afraid I lost my faith along ago. The things I have seen and learned about in this world have jaded me to the point where I look for a hidden adgenda in every act of charity I see or hear of. The efficiency by which we harm each other weighs heavily on my soul.

After the atrocities of Nazi Germany, Rwanda, Somalia or even the Killing Feilds of Cambodia I question whether there is a god. Me too ..... i sure dont understand how a good god could allow such things ... and many of the less mentioned millions of everyday things, each of which is, to the person involved, is every bit as horrendous as the biggies you listed. I do not understand .......I do however retain some "inner feeling" (but, only when i allow it), i would call it maybe intuition, that somehow there is something behind it all .. some reason why we are here ...some reason why we go on, some purpose to it all ...

Mate & I are trying to find a reason also ... in our way, we have had tremendous tragedy around us, different from yours, but still horrendous, so can relate i think ....by the way, he holds some hope even though 2 of his only 3 children have met horrendous deaths in early adulthood, in 2 entirely separate circumstance .....the 3rd is highly schizphrenic ... of the 3, none had a life ... and thier mother is gone fairly young. He also lost in early adulthood 1 of only 2 siblings and his young father to war when he was a baby.(the unbelievable odds of this really make him wonder why most of those around him die so young). Yet, somehow, he goes on, an inspiration to me and all around him.

As well as that, I lost 1 of 2 siblings to a horrific accident compounded by his wife cruelly keeping him alive, well sort of alive, for 8 gut wrenching months and along with mate lost an "almost son to me" very recently. You better believe we wonder! I / we dont have simple answers ... just an intuition (for lack of better word) that all is ok for them and for us .. that somehow it is ok on some plane that we cannot know in human state ...... something that really hits us is, 2 yrs ago when he found that mate's # 1 son died, he was so calm for the first night .. not shock ... genuine "it's ok" came over him .. mate's presence as he told me one of my favorite people was gone, took me over it was so powerfull ... and i also knew it was ok. This makes us think even deeper .... and adds to the intuition.... and adds to the mystery ......

I know there is no way I can magically make things have meaning to you .... but, am responding because I choose to (would not for most people....there is something special about you .. am not refering to your injury, but to you),... and because you chose to lay out your feelings to me.


I was raised as a catholic and I was disgusted to learn that a priest is allowsd to and actually expected to lye to spare the church from scandal such as pedophilia. The Cardinal from Boston that was proven to cover-up the acts of priests beneath him was actually promoted to the Vatican after the scandal broke. Acutely aware of all that ...... makes it harder for a catholic, not easy for me a non catholic though ...
He was one of the 7 priests given the honour of performing Pope John Paul's funeral mass. Also saw that happen, and couldnt believe my eyes / ears. All I can say to that is obviously the bad dont get stopped and the good folks dont get many breaks.

I wish I could believe the words of hope you have posted but I see god as a god of vengence, ...ok, that one i will challenge while we agree basically, i do not see god as vengefull (may i suggest that if he was, the bad would pay??) seems more like he is uninterested ... or maybe cant do anything in our present human state?.. or doesnt for some reason we cannot know in this state. ....
not a god of love, who for whatever reason has turned his back to me. to you, and to more others than u may realize at first glance ...
People never describe themselves as "god loving" people but rather as "god fearing" people. saying "people" is like saying "they" ... i never could relate to that .. .and i never heard him say we should fear him ... that is an expression of humans only, trying to speak for him.....
I am happy for you, for the fact that you still have hope, but I am afraid that I no longer keep any for myself. our "hope" is not so much for us, but for those around us and for others in the world .... maybe because we know we are here for some reason and will return to the spirit form we briefly left to do "some?" job here.....not sure what job is ..... but will return to our true spirit selves in due course we do somehow know. You will also return to your spirit form again one day .... i do know that much ... what you are here for .. why you have suffered so i have no answer for ... in our human form we simply cannot know for sure.the "whys"...the whys arnt in the contract!..

By the way, that "Letter" was not for us .. .we dont think highly nor find much in this physical world we are in ourselves, actually .....but many others do ... that can be inspiring for those who see god in nature ...which frankly we find extremely harsh ...animals killing anaimals ..people killing people ... nothing sweet there, for us... ..so we put it there for inspiration for those who do see god in nature and nature as good......We get our solace from other means ... knowing we are spirits .... for whatever reason? we chose to or accepted offer to come here a while ..and that in due course we will return back to the spirit form we have been forever . .....that knowledge (from "within" us) (and NOT from preachers etc.) keeps us together somehow ... and keeps us going , ,,, doing our best .... please dont consider the only alternative ...my mate's son (and my buddy) did .. and we think it maybe was right for him (maybe that's why we were so at peace upon hearing of his suicide?? maybe?... (but that in itself doesnt mean it is for you ..... or for me ... maybe his son was finished with whatever he came here for? maybe? .. .but i think we .. .you and i may not be "done here"??? maybe? not done doing whatever we came here to do ... or whatever?

Although a believer in "something out there" ... i am NOT a believer in religion .. to me and us, religions are just people working from books written 2000 and more yrs ago .. redone many times ... altered and distorted each time ...knowing I (and others) was a spirit since foever ..... and will return to that ultimately .... is a help somehow ....helps us to tolerate this harsh world .......knowing there are a few good souls here , like you for example helps us to go on ......

Thus, I diferenciate between Religion and Belief not only as separate, but actually the "Opposite" from each other ....even "counter" to each other .... so...the only words i can or will try to give you, is ..please, ... dont rule out one because the other is bad ...

more specifically, ..... please dont reject "Belief", because "religion" is bad. There is no connection between them. Between the lines , I am reading, i think, a strong and very genuine "desire" to believe ... but life and observation has made it difficult to do so?? I hope maybe the above differeciation is some help in that direction .. .at least a start maybe?? It is for me ...my intuition tells me what to believe , not a preacher or priest, or possible pedophile. At the same time I WILL NOT allow these aberations (from Hitler to sick priests) to PREVENT (or deter) me from believing what mt heart ... no ... my what my soul tells me to believe. If I did, then they would have won and really hurt me ... I wont allow them to do that

Maybe best i suggest do not allow those aberations to sway you .. if you do, it is another sick victory for them ....look inbto yourself only ... if you can experience what is in and comes from your soul you wil lalways be ok ... let it happens, you have to let it happen ...and dwelling on the evil people's actions deters you from "feeling" what is you, and in you.


I would close by saying may god bless and keep you, but the salutation now rings hollow for me. I apologize if my post offends anyone, that is not my intent, but they are my honest feelings. I dont use those type expressions ......just not comfortable with them ...... "Wishing Best for you"...i am more comfortable with ...and by "best" , i dont just mean worldly best, ...but best within your soul .....your soul being the forever ongoing you , and the only real you.....
J.


LilSquirt_4mfm 67M/67F
3394 posts
2/7/2006 9:22 am

dayman ... in rereading it, i wondered if you think a "vengeful" god did it to you either as vengance or payback??? ...as in you did something wrong? to cause it? ...

yes, he either "allowed" it or maybe cant stop things here at all??, i dont know ....

however, i do know, he did not "DO" it!!! to YOU, to US, or to ANYONE!!


ilsgicemru 72M
2822 posts
2/7/2006 9:17 pm

J......................................Just want you to know I have been here ... Learned a lot about you and mate ... and your beliefs !!! ... We are alike in so many ways in our beliefs !!! ................................G

Dayman .........................Sorry for the bad that has happened to you !! .. I can't add more than J. ...... Just that I believe what she believes here !!


dayman7 57M

2/8/2006 9:54 am

Lil and ilsgicemru,
Thank-you for your kind words. I have enjoyed reading your posts and I hope that all of your wishes and hopes are realized.
Good-bye,
dayman


dayman7 57M

2/8/2006 10:20 am

Lil, I sent you a private e-mail.
dayman


dayman7 57M

2/15/2006 11:05 am

Lil,

I just replied to your last mail message.
dayman


LilSquirt_4mfm 67M/67F
3394 posts
2/15/2006 9:54 pm

thank you dayman ... i did get it .. .and very much appreciated it
J.


LilSquirt_4mfm 67M/67F
3394 posts
2/16/2006 12:08 pm

dayman ..... Sooooo glad you are staying a while longer. As friend Ils said long ago, you are needed to keep me in line and spank me when i get carried away with my political "knowitallness" ... lol.. .. he keeps me in line in some areas, but it is not his nature to challenge opinions

Hope this Bi Jessica area is a good place to meet up on occassion ... you are of course well cum to post anywhere on any subject.

looking forward to hearing from you in future!!!!!

J.


ilsgicemru 72M
2822 posts
2/20/2006 1:35 pm

............................. J.

Just checking in over here to see whats going on ...

............................. Dayman
Thanks for your best wishes ... Same from me to you ...
You can call me 'Ils" . or G. if you want !!
Glad to see you back !! ... Like J. said . You are needed here . to keep her in line .. But please call on me if you want me to do the spanking !! Lol

............................. G.


LilSquirt_4mfm 67M/67F
3394 posts
2/20/2006 7:48 pm

ils
lol ..... hate making descisions ... maybe BOTH of you ?????? ... read somewhere about something called mfm ...sounded like an ok idea to me

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe


ilsgicemru 72M
2822 posts
2/21/2006 7:58 pm

.............................. J. Squirt
I think that if we dig around in your blog ..
we might find some refrence to mfm !! Lol
So it looks like I get one cheek and Dayman gets the other ??
Help me out here .. Lol .. In mfm . do we divide you equally ..
right smack . up and down the middle . front and back ? ..
Or can we each take turns with the total package ? ..
I think I know .. but I like thinking of the different senarios !!

Lil .. Just how did we stray away from the "spiritual" topic we were on ? Lol


LilSquirt_4mfm 67M/67F
3394 posts
2/23/2006 9:34 am

lol .. my "human" side took over!!!!!

havnt seen dayman in a while ... sure hope he cums by ... missin ya dayman


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