What do you take for granted?  

Lapkin4u 42F
497 posts
6/19/2005 6:32 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

What do you take for granted?

So there I sit showing my girls how to build a sandcastle. As I am building it shaking my head, can't believe these kids don't know how to make a proper sandcastle....it suddenly occurs to me, that something as simple as building a sandcastle is an acquired skill. I wasn't born with the skill I learned it.....one of the many little things we take for granted everyday. I have never thought about the fact that someone wouldn't know how to do this simple task. Which led me to think deeper on the subject of things we take for granted everyday......How about signing a check or reading a book? How many of you think about walking? Not something you think about till you can't do it, is it? Same for running. I started to wonder what it would be like to not be able to do these things and I thought about all those that have disabilities and are unable to do many of the things that we take for granted everyday. I was reminded of a certain person I met not that long ago. I went to the bar with my best friend one night a couple months back and we decided to sit in the back part of the bar where the pool tables are. We were conversing and waiting for our other friend to arrive, when I looked over to see some guys playing pool. I was immediately taken back by one of the gentlemen. He was gorgeous! I watched them play for quite awhile and could not stop staring, I was really quite pathetic. I told my friends how fine I thought this guy was about 10 times in 30 minutes.....they were like alright already! Well his friends and him left and I sat for awhile with my friends and walked to the front to visit the ladies room....I turned the corner and there he was sitting at the bar....with this aura of light around him like he was a greek god or something. I hurried back to my table to tell my girls that he was up at the bar and I had to talk to him. I walked up and sat next to him at the bar and apologized for interupting him and his friend.
" I'm sorry to interupt, but I just had to tell you how gorgeous I think you are." I said. Without going right into what he said...he told me not to tease him and yeah right and everything you can think of that I was lying to him. I told him no really I'm not kidding or playing games with you, I really just felt I had to tell you. We ended up talking quite awhile at length and ended up before the night was over, making out. He was a very good kisser, I might add. People watched us....stared at us and it never occured to me why. After the night was said and done I thought about the events that had taken place and peoples reaction to it as well as his reaction to me telling him what I thought about him. When I rehashed what he had said to me......How beautiful I was and why was I talking to him.....I thought at the time, what are you kidding me, you are the best looking guy in the bar, why wouldn't I talk to you? Now for the part that wasn't so obvious to me but was very obvious to everyone else............this gorgeous sweet guy......was in a wheelchair. I knew this fact, but to me it was like his shoes....who cares? The only thing everyone else could see though was his disability. How sad is that? That every person in that bar would look at me and think why is she talking to him? How sad is it that he thought the same thing? So along with losing the use of his legs, he lost his self-esteem. That is so incredibly sad to me. The moral of my story is......all the little things we take for granted everyday can be taken away so quickly, and along with them so many more important things can be taken as well, and the next time you see someone with a disability, don't look at them with pity or disgust.....look at them with appreciation for reminding you to never take anything for granted ever again. Love yourself no matter what and never be ashamed of what and who you are.....we are all beautiful and deserve to be told so.

keithcancook 60M
17785 posts
6/19/2005 11:46 pm

This was one of the most beautiful and moving posts i have ever encountered on this blog site. I have so many emotions running thru me now I will have to come back later to discuss them...

missy97330 47F

6/20/2005 12:05 am

You go girl!

missy973 47F

6/20/2005 2:13 am

You go girl.

AmberSolaire 42M

6/20/2005 5:06 am

I once had a similar experiance with a one legged woman.Only difference being I honestly didnt realise until we went home together.Didnt change anything, but did explain the looks I was getting.I thought they were jealousy.

ByteChaser2 53M

6/20/2005 9:07 am

Beautiful sentiments there baby. Kind of like waking up in the morning to find IM messages from a special "you know who" *Wink*

Who luvs ya baby!!!

quad469 52M
23 posts
8/8/2005 5:04 pm

I'm sorry to be reading your post 7 weeks late, but I guess late is better than not at all.

I have a disability. I'm a quadriplegic on a ventilator. I'll agree with most of your comments and observations; peope looking at my chair first and me second, others wondering why someone would spend time with me, etc. Anyone thinking like that (which is nearly everyone nearly all the time) is ignorant or stupid and not worth the time it takes to dislike them.

One possible explanation for this guy thinking you were only complimenting him because he was in a chair is because that happens a lot. Drunk people are the worst. They've spent all night staring (which I never noticed) but now feel guilty so they have to "make up" for their earlier behavior. Sigh........

But you made the comment that he "lost his legs and his self-esteem." That, in a word, is bulls**t. Self-esteem is important to all of us, but if his self-worth must be reinforced by others, from the outside in, then he's got bigger problems than just needing a wheelchair. I like me. I like me A LOT!! I don't need a woman to prove myself to me. I LIKE having a woman for all the same reasons everyone does, but I don't think less of myself when I don't have a girlfriend. I haven't even had a date in over three years! The word "no" is maddening and I get tired of hearing it, but it's not going to make me think less of myself.

If your acquaintance has a problem with self-esteem, he'd have it whether he was in a chair or not. In fact, I'd say HE takes being able-bodied for granted!

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