Paybacks A Bitch!  

Lapkin4u 42F
497 posts
10/3/2005 10:08 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Paybacks A Bitch!

Here's one for the guys!

One evening last week, my wife & I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed dept. store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry dept. where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier". I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for awhile.. You're just not enough in touch with my financial needs as a man for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

Philosophy_N_Sex 49M/47F

10/3/2005 12:34 pm

oh my God this is the best

I cant breath hahah I love this!

too funny

rm_CpuDocMi 67M
38 posts
11/2/2005 4:38 am

I love a story with a twist.... and He is going to be twistin' in the wind after that one!!!!!!


Arc_Angel2112 42M

11/6/2005 5:17 pm

Roflmao! That's good! Wow!

rm_MustangD6644 51M
1031 posts
11/24/2005 8:31 pm

God I just wish I had heard that story when I was married to my Red Headed Witch and I could have used that line on her several times, not that she would have learnt any lessons from it. Moral of the story boys: If she wants it [especially a rock for her finger or other useless stuff] tell her to get off her ass and Bye It Herself, cause plenty of blokes can tell you that when she has had enough of you, she will take off and leave you with the debts.

Damn this story has been good therapy.


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