Another Blah Day  

Lamorenita22 33F
12 posts
11/18/2005 10:15 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Another Blah Day


Lately I have been feeling kinda depressed so I decided to write and check up on this account. I try to log in everyday just 2 keep up but hey shit happens! I always feel better when I write so I figured hey I will go blog! I always feel like I've taken a big back pack full of emotions off my back when I write some might say I bitch 2 much but hey bitching is part of life. A friend of mine was contemplating suicide the other day and I was kinda hurt cuz she didnt pick up her phone and call me but now she knows Im here if she needs me and she's feeling better now. But when she told me why she was feeling the way she felt I understood her sadness cuz in some ways I feel the way she does but I choose 2 find other ways of expressing my emotions. I dont mean 2 talk about her buisness but come on women out there u all should know what its like to not feel desired and wanted not only sexually but as a person. We all want to feel needed in some shape or form! We are all human! We all love, hate, diasagree, agree, bitch,laugh,and cry tears of joy and happiness. We all need friends and time out of the house! Here in this website based on physical pleasure we all seem to forget that. Yes I do understand that Im married and that most men see me as a piece of ass but Im still a living breathing woman that has thoughts, flesh, blood and emotions. Speaking to her reminded me that its ok for me to believe that physical pleasure can be more intense with someone I'm connected emotionally to and that its ok for me to feel awkward having sex with someone I know nothing about. Its been 6 months since the last nonemotional encounter I had and believe me people it was bad it was so bad I didnt even tell my friends about it! The foreplay was good but once he got inside me he blew his load in 2 minutes and people he did get it up again and we did try it again and he did the same thing. I have'nt called him since even tho he did beg for another chance! For a while I tried 2 pretend I was a heartless bitch (and believe me I was heartless) but that didnt work and I wasnt being true to myself so I went back to being me! My life is not perfect I have no job, I depend on my husband financailly right now, Im with my kids 24 hours a day 7 days a week, and Im looking for a job so I can get on my feet again so if anyone should feel overwhelmed its me and I said all of that 2 my friend on top of that Im married 2 a man I dont love! I even told her there r times when the problems in my life do get to me but thats ok cuz Im human and she is 2 and that life isnt easy but we r all here 4 a reason and that she has to stay positive. I also told her if she ever thought about suicide again I was going to whoop her ass and that she had no excuses cuz I can be reached email,phone,yahoo messanger, and text message!Ok maybe I was kinda more pissed than hurt cuz she didnt call me but now she knows I am her friend and I will be there when she needs me and if she doesnt call I will kick her ass! I heavent lost a friend for a while now and Im trying 2 keep it that way! Im gonna go clean my house now thanks 4 taking your valuable time 2 read this! Que te vaya bien!

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