ON MY WAY OUT.........(the subject : men! )  

Ladyblue85 58F
117 posts
3/4/2006 6:08 pm

Last Read:
3/16/2006 6:18 pm

ON MY WAY OUT.........(the subject : men! )

... no, not out on a date. Out and off of this site. (I might be rambling, but am currently going thru an extremely difficult week of a tragic situation) I have been thinking about it for several months. There is way too much bullshit from 95% of the men i have received and exchanged e-mails with, yes, even most of those i have met in person -- including those who were lucky enough to get me into bed.

I am the first to admit, I do not have the body I did 15 years ago. I have always been full-figured, meaning CHEST! A few years back I ended up in an abusive marriage, then due to a back injury, couldnt work for several years, compounded with depression put on a lot of weight. My only way out of that marriage after 4 years was his death. In the year that followed, I lost almost 55#, then came to a standstill..... wasnt until just a few months ago, after many years of a thyroid condition, I had to have an ultrasound due to an extremely large lump and then wait for a month to find out if I had thyroid cancer..... then a change in meds made me put on 10# in a few weeks. I was pissed to put it mildly -- that compounded with my 14 months of experiences with the men from here, made me have to think long and hard about staying here. (I do have 4 guys who I consider friends, but due to distance, there is very minimal physical contact.)

I am NOT one who judges someone I meet on looks... that is, a studly model type with 6 pack ab's.... I am more put off by them, thinking I AM NOT what they are looking for. (ie : eye-candy) Low self-esteem?? Probably, but was never like that until my experiences here.
I like to see a guy's face before even inviting him to my network, not neccessarily to see "my type" of guy, but to see if I might be attracted to him to possibly want to get naked with him.... sounds like phys. attraction, but not what i'm trying to say. I have met a few guys who I normally would never have before thought to be "my type", but in getting to know each other before going to bed, had a good time.

Again, I am not one to look at pics here and say he or she is UGLY, etc. I think I am ok looking, don't think I need a bag over my head to be seen in public, but after the treatment I've gotten from a lot of guys... sure makes me feel fat and ugly. Maybe it's a girl thing. I have seen profiles of other women on here who are twice my size. While I consider myself full-figure, these women could be called- Extra BBW! And like myself, enjoy intimacy and their sexuality.

After what is probably the 20th change in my profile over the past year.... I still end up getting mail from morons who DO NOT pay attention to my new RULES. I insist on seeing a face pic before inviting to my network.... if i do invite w/o one, they have ONE WEEK to get one to me, or get booted off. I have no time for anyone's shit.
Last month I got an e-mail from someone over 50, wanting to meet me.... told him in plain ENGLISH.... do u have a recent face pic.
Several days later, he writes back, "yes I do... what about you?"

Um....... sorry. I think THAT is considered playing FUCKING GAMES!!! told him, no pic, no invite, no interest.
(LOOK at my network of guys... a few I have been intimate with and a few of my good friends are on there still.... the others, I'd meet in a heartbeat when I have time.... notice how they all have very nice bodies!!! I always have someone HOT available for pure sex when I want. I don't need fucking mind games to get my attention ~~ and never mind about my Hotlist!)

This same guy, never sent a pic so i figured he was gone with the wind. Last week out of the blue, i get another message, something to the effect : "Hey, I'd like someone to go party with.... (then he mentioned orgies, etc).I wrote back and told him, NO -- I am not into groups, tried it didnt like it.... I am more one-on-one, maybe two guys. (And in a MFM situation, I would have to know at least one of the guys pretty well --- it's a safety issue for me, but I didnt tell HIM that).

I thought that was the end of hearing from him until a few days later, he pops back with, "Hey, I got a friend, Jeff (?) who would liek to help out with that 3 way you're interested in."

OMFG!! Yeah, sure, I'm going to make plans with TWO total strangers with no pics. You can ID my body by the tattoo on my ass that says, KICK ME!


3/8/2006 5:55 pm

bee tiying to get in touch ,local guy would love to meet for lunch .u name the spot and time .

CopesPolerLeges 58M
10 posts
3/9/2006 1:52 pm

Nice eye photo ladyblue. I really am speechless about my fellow men.

Ladyblue85 58F

3/11/2006 11:26 pm

No no, MzHuny....u do not feel me! lol Fortunately I was nowhere near 300#.... jsut that if i knew 20 yrs. ago, what i know now, I most certainly would've taken a different road in life.... Back then I had a killer body, but unfort. because of a couple of comments from a family member about me being a moose (because I was large busted).... that alone started a self-image problem. If I had the self-confidence back then that I do now.... I would've been leaving a trail of broken, battered men! ROTFLMAO!!

Become a member to create a blog