CHRISTMAS skim milk  

Ladyblue85 58F
117 posts
12/25/2005 9:05 am

Last Read:
3/16/2006 6:24 pm

CHRISTMAS skim milk

Yeah, so here I just had my bowl of xmas cheerios in skim milk, shared it with my Angel, my golden ret. I don't do well at all come the holidays. Too many bad things have happened over the years always towards the end of the year. I wish i could just hibernate from Halloween until Jan. 2.

All I really wanted for Xmas was a guy.... yeah, right, like I havent had enough trouble trying to find a SINGLE decent guy who doesnt think a relationship is an occasional phone call when HE wants to get laid.

I even had put a notice in my profile that I wasnt meeting anyone new till maybe January... just had too much stress to deal with on a personal level to go thru b.s. with any new guys.
And my profile does state in plain english that I am looking for a possible LTR.

So early last week among the other winks and e-mails, including two unsolicited nasty e-mails, I get a message from "Mike", local guy, who, yes, just happens to be married. I can not understand why a married man writes when they can plainly see looking for LTR. Something about his message and the hint of sense of humor made me write back. Sometimes I regret going with my instinct.
We started doing several e-mails a day and IM'ing off and on thru out each day, even talking on the phone, and yep, same off beat sense of humor as me. He owns a business close by plus has a busy schedule doing something on the side I wont even make reference to. Claims to have one of those marriages of staying together just for the one kid yet he does his thing, she does hers.

I was heading out late yesterday morning to do a few errands and was going to send him a message that I might stop by his store just to say hi in person --- I've never wanted to go meet someone so soon. He came online the same time i was leaving my message and asked if we could meet for a while. Told him where I was going, but did not want to go to a hotel this soon. So he met me in the parking lot where I was headed... he was actually waiting for ME. We talked for about half hour, out in the open. I even asked if he was worried about anyone he knew seeing us together -- he shrugged and said no, didnt care who saw what then talked me into going back to his 2nd office while he did some computer work, which he did. And yes, there was some making out involved. Some VERY nice making out!

When I said i had to get going, he even asked if I wanted to see HIM again. Said of course. So I guess we click on all levels and have some pretty damn good sexual chemistry. However, if I start seeing him, is it asking or expecting too much to state that i want a one-on-one relationship?? That is, I wont be seeing any of my bennie-buddies and wouldn't want him to be dipping his wick into any other women.

I've been in relationships with married guys before both where there is instant chemistry from the beginning and two where I developed strong feelings over time after we had been friends and lovers for a while. The problem with meeting anyone thru this site and starting any kind of one-on-one relationship, is that it is way too easy to check in and see if the other person is actively online and looking elsewhere.

Personally, I have to have some kind of chemistry with a guy to jump into bed in the first place -- tired of too many one night stands, or guys who promise one thing and get abducted by those New England aliens.

So while I really dont mind having a LTR with a married guy, esp. if we click so well like I think I did with "Mike", and he has no problem being seen with another woman...... am I setting myself up again for heartbreak??? Yeah, probably. my girlfriend has just IMed me, she's in the mood for going to McD's for lunch! lol . actually going to call to see if they're open since her hubby is playing with his new video games. Yep, happy holidays, nothing like that Xmas Big Mac for lunch!

Braxxus0311 40M
6 posts
12/25/2005 7:59 pm

Heartache is at the very top of the pyramid of pain. More distructive than a physical wound of any kind. Side affairs for men have become more and more common because of sweethearts like yourself, tending to the needs not found at home, but along with the passion you lend to your friend comes the pain of knowing you are not an exclusive part of his life in bring pain to yourself. I have no doubt you too are entitled to all the pleasures of an intimate relationship, as you have much to give, however take care not to invite too much of that love you wish to share as it will only hurt that much more. you are in my thoughts, Deuce

Ladyblue85 58F

12/25/2005 10:00 pm

Thank you, Deuce..... such words of wisdom from a young guy. True, I am very gun-shy because of a bad marriage and being hurt by a couple of guys I've fallen for from here.... married and single. At this point, because I feel like there's such a connection with this guy so soon, it's scaring me and I feel like I have to allready prepare myself for getting hurt -- and it wouldnt be any different for me if he was single. And I got a nice surprise tonight when he called out of the blue because he missed me..... and apologized for not calling
late last night. After talking for quite a while, I hinted at the subject of being "exclusive" without using those exact words, and he seemed pleasantly surprised I suggested it.

After talking with one of my married guy friends later, who hears all my dark secrets , he told me to just go with the flow and enjoy it for whatever it is. Like i told him, sounds good in theory, but while I'm enjoying the flow of a relationship, I get blind-sided.
Ahhh.... love sucks , sexual relationships suck (no pun intended) and the pain that comes eventually is the biggest suck of all! But we go on endlessly looking.......

Braxxus0311 40M
6 posts
12/26/2005 1:30 am

I suppose the greatest thing about thinking as much as I do is that I don't sleep much, so I'll be around if you need to chat. I suppose my advice to you would be the same as your friend. Don't try to read into this casual relationship too much, just take from it what you can get from it, and don't try to make it something its not. It will hurt in the end rest assured but if you take it at its true value... a fling that "clicks" you'll be no worse for wear. Keep your chin up girl... it's lifes tragedies that make us strong. Deuce

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