Do Nice Guys Finish Last ?- HECK NO - But....  

LadyFantasy68 49F
208 posts
10/29/2005 4:35 am

Last Read:
4/29/2006 8:25 am

Do Nice Guys Finish Last ?- HECK NO - But....

Do nice guys finish last?

I keep seeing that question in various forms all over this site, asking why nice guys finish last. Well do they really and what exactly is a “nice guy” anyway. Judging from some of the profiles, blogs and questions I have looked at by men who term themselves nice guys or even use it as their moniker on here, there is s definite difference of opinion to mine (and my friends that I have discussed this with) as to what constitutes a nice guy.

So here in my opinion is what actually makes a “nice guy” and what does not.

Nice guys DO
* Use their manners
* Call you when they say they will
* Remember your name
* Respect your personal boundaries
* Respect the word “NO”
* Treat you with respect

Nice guys DO NOT
* Behave rudely online or in person
* Forget to call you, ignore you or call days after they say they will.
* Call you only for a booty call.
* Call you the wrong name
* Call you names (unless you are into that)
* Try and force you to have sex when not ready for it or at any time
* Treat women like dirt or as if they are not valuable as a person in their own right

So there you have it. Nice guys basically have manners and treat ALL people with respect. Do they finish last…. NO WAY… I would FAR rather be with a nice guy than one who treats me like dirt. My quandary is… does “nice guy” actually exist on AdultFriendFinder, because he certainly does not seem to be amongst many that I have viewed or talked to online or off of here.

Nice doesn’t mean a man is not intelligent, funny or sexy. Nor does it mean he will let others walk all over him or let others be walked on.

There IS only ONE time that nice guys finish last and that is BECAUSE they ARE nice guys and understand the value to them of finishing last and their partner first and that it will be reciprocated too . Generally though, nice guys DO NOT finish last.

warmandsexy52 64M
13164 posts
10/30/2005 7:28 am

Eloquently put, Lady, and for the most part heartwarming. But the bit about nice guys being absent from AdultFriendFinder caught my attention. Was it through your own experience or broader observation? And I think most guys 'niceness' has an ambiguity on a site dedicated to finding sex partners, even if Blogland differs somewhat in this respect.

Is being a nice guy an ideal? How would you spot one in a first e-mail? Maybe they would lack the excitement and danger that makes the bad boys more appealing. A very, very interesting post that's got me thinking.

grouch49 68M

11/1/2005 1:26 pm

I agree with warmandsexy52 in that it is impossible to determine if a guy is "nice" on this site by their profile &/or first email approach. The same, however, can be said about determining how "nice" a woman may be. People need the opportunity to show their true self. My experience is that most woman on this site do not extend that opportunity.

As for a "nice" guy "finishing" last, I prefer to "finish" simultaneously but am happy for Fem to "finish" many times.

LadyFantasy68 49F
126 posts
11/2/2005 2:56 am

Thanks for the reply W&S ‒ Yes it is through my own experience, emails I have received and chatting to men online from AdultFriendFinder. It is ALSO from broader observation. You really do not have to look very far within the blogs on here to see that many women have written about the bad behaviour of men on AdultFriendFinder and online in general and in particular.

Maybe “niceness” has an ambiguity in here, but then far too many men seem to confuse being a decent person who treats others with respect with someone who is boring when this is really not the case.

Are “bad boys” really more exciting and appealing? Why do people equate nice with boring. As I said in my initial post, nice does not mean a guy is not intelligent, has no sense of humour or is not sexy. Nor does it mean he is boring or too predictable. It just means that he treats others and himself with dignity and respect.

While you may not definitively spot a nice guy in a first email, you can certainly weed out those that are not pretty quickly.

LadyFantasy68 49F
126 posts
11/2/2005 3:10 am

Grouch49 - As stated to W&S, while first emails may not determine if a guy is nice it can certainly tell you if he is not. Personally I give people a chance and reply unless they are rude or crude. Watch for further posts on this topic as will be writing about some of my experiences on here soon.

Thanks for the comments.

LifeCanBeABitch 57M

1/5/2006 12:35 am

I agree with fotofinishr most nice guys get swollowed up in the traffic, but they are the backbone of a lasting relationship, they have the courage to stand up for what is right in a relationship and society in general they are the ones that give hope to the human race that it can survive into the future.

mattstu 50M
28 posts
2/17/2006 2:51 am

I would certainly like to fall into your description of a nice guy, but would never presume to label myself as such until I had earned your thinking so. As for finishing last, I do get the feeling that the pushier types will get further here, but I'll slowly persist and be me and hopefully a nice woman will notice that too!
Of course in bed, finishing last may be an advantage because one gets to see their partner really really happy - and that's what it's all about. In life in general, maybe quality is better than quantity!
Talk to me and get to know me please first before any more - I couldn't have sex with someone I didn't respect as a friend.
Does that make me unusual for a man, around here???
cheers, M

Goodun1950 66M
6 posts
4/18/2006 5:33 am

Ladyfantasy68 well, I meet the six requirements as mentioned for "nice guy". So first hurdle passed. But, the many other requirements you knowingly or unknowingly have in your conscious and subconscious mind are the real deciding factors. You are correct in stating these are just the first basics for meeting or conversing with someone and it would be great if all persons responded in this way.

Can I just say that it is not only guys that have no basic civility please. Sometimes I would like a straight out no thankyou, or even, I am sorry not interested would be pleasant ... lol

Anyway, keep going as you have been ... is fun to see the responses, including mine ... lol ...

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