With all due respect, eat shit and die  

LadiesChoice15 36M
3 posts
2/12/2006 10:07 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

With all due respect, eat shit and die


I have often been intrigued by the prospect of being perfectly honest with people that displease or anger me. Now, I'm not talking about when a friend pisses me off. On those occasions I can be perfectly honest with the offender and all is forgiven after the grievances have been duly stated. It's one of the benefits of being a guy. Instead of brooding about some perceived slight for a good long time like the ladies are prone to doing I simply unleash my ire and the parties responsible are immediately aware of their trespasses, they offer contrition, and I provide forgiveness (e.g. "Hey fuckhead! Did you unplug my dialysis machine when I was sleeping?" "My bad, dude. I needed the outlet for my electric lint remover. Plus, I thought your kidneys were fully operational." "It's all good, friend-for-life. Just give me a heads-up before deactivating any life-prolonging apparatuses in the future." See, no fuss, no drama.). What I'm referring to are the people in our lives who we are we not overly familiar with and are thus forced to treat with politeness despite their shit-headedness (you know who they are. They're the people who live in your dorm or apartment building, your classmates, your coworkers, and friends of your friends).
At my old school I was often irked by the need to be friendly towards people I considered to be major assholes (at a college that small it seemed to make a species of sense to conceal any feelings of ill will towards those who should have received a heaping helping of reprobation. Why create an adversary that you have no hope of avoiding on a day-to-day basis?). Have you ever heard of the Pax Romana? It's the enforced peace that the Romans brought to the conquered member states in their empire. Peace by the sword. Drew University had something which I like to call the "Pax Vagina." Peace of the pussy. That's where everyone is too much of a punk-ass bitch to confront the person that's causing them nothing but grief and unending annoyance. I grew so fed up with this increasingly frustrating status quo that I developed an overwhelming desire to clearly delineate and proclaim the difference between my friends and my foes ("You! You are my enemies. Later, we shall do battle to the death with quarter neither asked nor received. You! You are my friends. Later, we shall drink tea and eat crumpets.").
Upon the advice of my counsel, Jeff Barile, who is also my hetero-life-partner (see Dogma for that little gem), I have removed the remaining portion of this blog due to the fact that it may be misconstrued as meanspirited and possibly offensive to those with delicate sensibilities. Now, normally I like to tell those with delicate sensibilities to go fuck themselves (but I do it in a very delicate way) but in this instance, I defer to his wisdom. Besides, with years of hindsight I have come to understand that complete honesty would probably lead to the breakdown of society, wide-spread rioting, "cats and dogs living together... Mass Hysteria!" So I think I'll keep my misanthropy on a short lease from now on.... ya' bastards.

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