Trading Up  

LilBlondeNZ 40F
1259 posts
5/19/2006 7:44 am
Trading Up

I'm still teary.

Never did I think seeing a grade would make me actually cry for joy.


I needed a C in my physics class in order to graduate on time. If I didn't get it, I was going to have to spend the summer here retaking it... and another 3 months away from Bulge. It would have been beyond awful. I wouldn't have been able to take my boards, couldn't then get my license, couldn't then work, couldn't apply for a work visa in NZ... it would have been really really awful.

EVERYTHING was hinging on how I did on that one final.

My professor finally got back to me last night. I saw his name in my inbox, and couldn't breathe as I clicked to read the email. All I saw was C+ and I bawled my eyes out in relief for about a minute before I could see clearly enough to text Bulge the news. It was at least equal, if not better, to the moment when I saw my name on the "Passing NYS Bar Exam Applicants" webpage at 12: 01am on a similar May night some years ago.

But I've been thinking all night... and I've realized there is a big difference though between when I passed The Bar then, and passing physics, clinching graduation, now.

I remember the night I found out that I passed the bar with complete detail. We were finishing up the kitchen we had gutted. I had just put the final touches on tiling the kitchen floor that day, and had checked the grout to see if it was curing properly. I got my hands dirty fixing some stray streaks I hadn't seen before. So I went to kitchen sink to wash my hands, and the dishes from dinner were still in there, so I decided I better do them; they wouldn't have gotten done otherwise.

I washed the 2 plates from dinner. I washed the 2 forks, and then the 2 glasses. As I was washing the last glass, I put my hand with the sponge inside to wash the bottom, and the glass cracked in half with my hand inside it. It sliced open a gash on the first knuckle of my right index finger, just where it met my hand. I cringed as I felt the sting and burn, and my hand started to bleed profusely. I dropped the glass in the sink, as the red water mixed with the lemon fresh soapsuds.

"Hey, be careful. That's a new sink."

"Sorry. The glass broke and I cut my hand."


I washed out any glass that might be stuck and then wrapped my hand up, applied pressure and held it above my head. He was playing a game on his computer, and I went in the other room and sat on the couch. 28 minutes to go. I knew the Bar Exam results would be posted at 12: 01 am, and then I would know if all that work had paid off. I would finally know my fate.

27 minutes passed and I told him I needed to get on the computer.

"For what?"

"I told you the results are going up tonight."

"Oh yeah, I forgot."

"Figures", I thought silently.

He saved his game and I took over his seat. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh... I kept trying to bring the page up, but there was too much traffic. I kept trying for a few minutes, and then finally it lit up before my eyes. I scrolled down, "1st Department", "L-Z"...

And then I saw it.

My name.

Three years of law school. Six weeks of bar review, 4 hours a day, six days a week, an hour away in Manhattan. 3 days of grueling 8 hour exams.

But I did it.


I jumped out of my seat still holding the huge bandage around my hand.

"Hey, don't make so much noise, you'll wake everyone up."

I froze and looked at him in utter disbelief and crushing disappointment. And I felt something inside me go


And just like that, it was over.

I knew in that precise moment that I was leaving my husband.

True to form, three weeks later, I got in my car with nothing but some clothes in the backseat, my hairdryer and my cell phone, and drove away. Forever.

How my life has changed.

Bulge was online with me to keep me company when I was studying, even though I wasn't really talking to him.

He texted me every time I had a test to wish me good luck.

He was there with me as we calculated, down to the decimal point, the exact scores I needed on my exams in order to get my C.

He was there for me when I had a nervous breakdown, doubting that I would be able to pull it off.

He cursed with me when my professor didn't have the final grades ready on time as promised.

He asked me first thing every time he talked to me the past three days, "Any news?"

He knew I was on edge about the prospect of having to stay here to retake the class during summer session. He masked his own disappointment, and said it would all be OK even if I had to.

And it only took 2 seconds for him to get on the line yelling "WOOOO HOOO" out the window of the car on the way to work when I texted him the good news.

He was the first one to tell me...

"I'm so proud of you. You worked so hard. You did awesome."

And although I was teary with relief because I was so happy I passed, I was crying moreso because I realized that this is the way it's supposed to be. To have someone in your life who is so loving and supportive is priceless. I'm really lucky to have a second chance at this.

I traded up. *Big time*

And as I looked down at the scar on my hand from that other night years ago, I felt it again.


And just like that, I knew for sure,

as I have always felt from the start,

He's the one.

caressmewell 53F

5/19/2006 8:36 am

Congratulations on your grade and for finding "the one".

caressmewell 53F

5/19/2006 8:37 am

Congratulations on your grade and for finding "the one".
May you both be blessed and never lose the feelings you have for each other.

CrashnBern 58F

5/19/2006 8:50 am

Congrats!! on your C+. and your person. Some people won't let themselves recognise that first click when you have to leave..Good For YOU!!

LIBlonde97 40F
1028 posts
5/19/2006 9:12 am

Thanks Caress! I am so relieved... I really didn't think I was going to be able to make it happen. But then again, I shouldn't have doubted looking at how things have unfolded the past few months...

I wasn't even supposed to be able to get into this class in the first place because it was full, then magically, at the zero hour, someone dropped and a spot opened up...

I should have known that this was meant to be as well.

I guess I'm just always waiting for my luck to run out!

: )


LIBlonde97 40F
1028 posts
5/19/2006 9:15 am

Thanks Crash...

I think there had been many small *clicks* all along, but that night was the click heard 'round the world for sure...


rm_1hotwahine 62F
21091 posts
5/19/2006 10:42 am

Oh, Blonde, I LOVE this post so much! I was also pretty fidgety regarding how much I could relate to the "old" scenario. Never again. For me, either. Yea for both of us, and for anyone else to has walked away from accepting far less than they deserve. Male or female.

And yea for you finding that absolutely wonderful, perfect-for-you guy. Just don't tell him I said something nice about him, okay?

And for the C+ and what it means in the big picture of what can now move forward...


Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

rm_1hotwahine 62F
21091 posts
5/19/2006 10:44 am

Oh, Blonde, I LOVE this post so much! I was also pretty fidgety regarding how much I could relate to the "old" scenario. Never again. For me, either. Yea for both of us, and for anyone else to has walked away from accepting far less than they deserve. Male or female.

And yea for you finding that absolutely wonderful, perfect-for-you guy. Just don't tell him I said something nice about him, okay?

And for the C+ and what it means in the big picture of what can now move forward...


Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

rm_gerson42 52M
2419 posts
5/19/2006 12:03 pm

That is a way cool story. Congrats! Things somehow have a way of workin out.

LIBlonde97 40F
1028 posts
5/19/2006 1:58 pm

Awww thanks 1hot!

That is the coolest "Yea!" I have ever seen!

Yes, I'm really happy about the big picure today. I wasn't even really able to think about it so much because I had to focus on all the tiny steps I needed to get to this point the past 4 months... now just today I'm feeling a huge positive change in my mental momentum. I can now sell everything, make all the plane reservations and plans, send out my resumes, pack and ship everything that's left and tie up the loose ends... Im outta here.

And I won't tell Bulge you said anything nice. He's liable to get a big head with all this attention.



LIBlonde97 40F
1028 posts
5/19/2006 1:59 pm

Thanks Ger... they sure do have a way of working out...

As should I... I need to fit into a wedding dress in a few months! Yikes!


Peche85 31F

5/19/2006 5:19 pm

Thats so awesome!


helga_hansen 49F  
1987 posts
5/20/2006 3:11 am


I am sooooooo pleased for you, A... I was reading this post with tears in my eyes. And they are tears of happiness for you and that no-good, sheep-loving reprobate that has managed to snare you! You've got a good one there, A... hang on to him!!

Big hugs to you, Hobbit-Boy and the kids!


Love, hugs and kisses from ♥♥HH♥♥

chasingfun27 38M
1108 posts
5/21/2006 4:06 am

Congratulations for the C+. Bigger congratulations to you and Bulge for finding each other.

Seriously_Real 48M

5/21/2006 9:25 am

Can't tell you how happy I am for you. And the grade is gravy.


velvethandsNZ 68M

5/22/2006 1:02 pm

Everything comes to those who work for it - a personal belief!!

You clearly worked hard for all three exams (law, bar and medicine)and deserve the professional standing they earned you. You've also clearly worked hard to find and win the RIGHT MAN! Well done

Finally, you've worked hard enough to deserve to live, and clever enough to know you should live, in New Zealand!! Not many manage that one as well!

When you leave NYC to come and live in God's Own there is one FACT you can think of as the plane takes off. The average IQ of NZ is about to go up, and that of the USA down!! Cool eh!

rm_JUSTsex4me 36F
185 posts
5/22/2006 4:09 pm

Congrats on your C+ and on finding the one who will always be proud of you and have no problem saying so. I wish the best to both of you and have a safe flight over there.


curious082385 31F
4925 posts
5/24/2006 3:56 am

Big congratulations to you on the grade!!!!
So glad that everything is working out for you guys. But even happier that you two found each other. As cheesy as it sounds, watching the two of you gives me hope.

Package1971 45M
1051 posts
5/27/2006 8:24 am

Nice going LB! It sounds like you've earned everything you have coming to you.


LIBlonde97 40F
1028 posts
5/27/2006 12:22 pm

Thanks to everyone who left comments on this post! It's really nice to see how supportive people are of me, and of us



romeoMEETSjuliet 51M/51F
162 posts
6/7/2006 11:11 pm

She says - Well done, and way to go! Ditto for getting the passing grades.

Awesome image hearing you describe that *click*. I completely understand it, or them.

All the best to you both!

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