My Real Name Is Amy.  

LilBlondeNZ 40F
1259 posts
8/16/2005 10:17 am
My Real Name Is Amy.

So I've been kinda lazy about blogging for the past week. I was just not feeling inspired to share my thoughts with anyone on anything. Didnt feel like sharing with the group. Felt like I was "processing".... something. My non-boyfriend told me the other night that I had the thickest walls around my heart and mind, despite them being painted with smiley faces all over them.

I was stunned. But he's right.

So I think I've kinda come full circle with this whole AdultFriendFinder experience. Came out of a unsatisfying relationship seeking to rebuild. Had a great time here. Met some really great people; some new chat buddies, some new friends, some great sex and even a close relationship. Very successful! But I think my goals have changed over the past couple of weeks. Sex is great. (Yeah, I mean wow it really is awesome to connect with someone physically). And it's been a good exercise to experiment with operating as a sexual object. Who would have known that being a little sex kitten would be a growth experience... LOL

However, I'm over the initial ego rush that comes from having 1200 emails in the inbox... Because I've stopped believing that any one of them truly can bring the kind of opportunity I want. And although I changed my profile 100 times, I found it was impossible to accurately represent what a complex person I am (I don't think anybody can truly can do it), and all the things I'm looking for in a person. And I'm finding all the network invites in the world can't fulfill my true needs... companionship, conversation, connection, mutual appreciation, ultimately love.

Sure, it's fun to be appreciated as some hot internet babe... but anyone who knows me, knows that is the least interesting side of my persona. And I'm proud of all of me, just just unattached sexual & physical features. I worked really hard to fill up my brain with knowledge, grew a heart capable of true friendship and love... I have hands and arms that can hold and heal, legs strong enough to stand on my own. Those are the features that are important "IRL" ... in real life.

I started to make the shift back to being happy with my "real life" a few weeks ago when I started my blog on here. And I had people who were appreciative of what I had to SAY for a change... not just looks or sexual skills. And when I started to find that much more fulfilling than an email appreciating my ass, I knew it was tiem to move on. So I'll continue to blog on here; I like the crowd and there are some really good blogs on here, great, talented writers I am happy to have "met".

And so it's on that note that I bid goodbye to my quest. The quest to get laid and have fun is over. And to everyone who I met along the way: Thanks for the memories.

By the way, for those of you who didn't know, my real name is Amy.


mnfun952 102M

8/16/2005 8:06 pm

HI Amy...

I'm going to miss seeing your sexy ass in my blog. I wish you nothing but happiness and good things going forward. I love it when people realize AdultFriendFinder for what it is and that the blogging experience is more than just online flirting...that it's an exploration of self and often, the results can have more impact than weeks of 'therapy'.... it's just incredibly insightful to write and look back at what you wrote and to read the comments from people who bring their own unique experiences to the table.

I'm going to miss you, but hopefullly you'll even swing on in from time to time as a standard member...just to say hi and maybe drop off a comment or two.

Take care Amy!!!

MnFun


Priapeo 46M

8/17/2005 8:24 am

I too have come to the decision to quit with my quest, I too have changed my profile lots of times but found it impossible to provide a resembling portrait... strange thing that though you have 1199 mails more than me in your inbox the results coincide, isn't it? Have fun and... remember you promised you will get that poor poolboy!

Never argue with an idiot. He brings you down to his level then beats you with experience


rockwriter58 56M
1389 posts
8/17/2005 9:42 am

Amy...

I like the blog and hope you keep writing. Interesting decision. The two top female bloggers in my area have also questioned the use of this site outside their blogs in the past few months. This summer I also stopped my search and just continue writing blog entries. So I understand the place where your head may have been when you wrote this. Good luck... and we'll keep reading, especially if you do bag that poolboy.

If you are interested in blogging, please fill out A TATTLER Marketing Survey. Thank you!

♪rockwriter58♪


Greenguy96 43M

8/17/2005 4:46 pm

Well I don't know you but from what you wrote you sound happy and thhat is all that matters in life. Hope you continue to have fun.


clitlicker4510 61M
7 posts
8/26/2005 9:38 pm

Amy I wish you al the best, I am sorry that I din't get the chance to meet you,but hey just reading your blog seems like I know you.


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