Gems Straight From My Inbox...  

LilBlondeNZ 40F
1259 posts
11/7/2005 7:43 pm
Gems Straight From My Inbox...

Here's a new segment I'm introducing this evening. We examine the contents of my inbox, so you can see what it's like to be a girl on AdultFriendFinder in NY.

Now, once upon a time, I had quite a fan club. More emails a day than I could possibly answer, invites coming in every 3 minutes, a network of over 200 "friends" (I use that word in the loosest of contexts). Two pages of testimonials. I had a long, telling profile and sexy pics posted. The word had gotten out that I was one of maybe 7 "real" girls in the NYC metro area. And all hell broke loose. For 3 months this summer I took complete advantage of any man I desired.

However, as anyone who has followed my progression over the past 5 months knows, I got burned out quickly; I gave my resignation and turned in my Hampton Bays Whore Department badge and uniform when September came. Since then, I have taken down all my pics, replaced them with more ambiguous photos. I also rewrote my profile ,which almost literally says "F*ck off, I'm on here to blog".

Yet still I receive a continuous stream of such erudite masterpieces! Here's a sample of what's in my inbox right now. Mind you, these are just the headlines...I don't want to even imagine what the body of the emails says, and I'm certainly not going to waste time finding out.

"You have to open this" <-- Ummm, no, actually I don't.

"God allmighty, you are hot" <-- Glad to see such religious people on AdultFriendFinder.

"Mmm i give oral all day" <-- So what you're saying is you're unemployed... great.

"Im verry intriged" <--Would that be blueverry, raspverry or strawverry?

"howw bout diner?" <-- Let me guess, you work in one?

"lets do it" <-- Umm, let's not.

"Can I lick your legs" <-- No thanks, I use Vaseline Intensive Care.

"call me for sex

"You are perfect" <-- Wow, you're already smarter than my exhusband.

"Wanna fu*k" <-- You've got to be kidding me.

"Let's meet tomorrow night" <-- Rats, I have plans.

"My cock is hard for you" <-- Thanks so much for sharing.

"I wanna hit that." <-- Sorry Playah...

And my personal favorite today...

"Suck me."

AlbertPrince 58M

11/8/2005 12:56 am

They were all from me! I thought I was on your list?

rm_Zotitan 38M
1 post
11/8/2005 1:19 am

Well at least some of those individuals were honest and the title of the e-mails, "can I lick you legs", and "suck me", are pretty funny. You should at least read them to get a chuckle cuz you seem a little uptight lately.

bulging_boy 49M

11/8/2005 4:03 am

how bout diner.


He probably just wiped his hands on his apron before rattling that masterpiece out.

If he can read... he'll be pissed that you worked him out so quickly

LIBlonde97 40F
1028 posts
11/8/2005 7:21 am

Oh Prince... I should have known.... and yes, you are on the list. See 's blog post on her crushes.

Zotitan- I vacillate between shaking my head and laughing, and shaking my fist at the monitor. My inbox is always definitely good for a chuckle if I'm in the right frame of mind. Who? Me? Uptight? OMG Hell yeah... is it that obvious? {{Chews ice cube....}}

Bulging- LOL YES I can picture it now... cheeseburger deluxe with mozzerella on the fries, and monte cristo... I have found my dream man!

1023 posts
11/8/2005 9:44 am

and I was going to ask for stimulating correspondence... Should I just wait to see if I make your next inbox post, or rewrite to match their charms?

eastend79 38M

11/8/2005 2:34 pm

Remind me never to email you LI.... EVER

LIBlonde97 40F
1028 posts
11/9/2005 2:13 pm

EE- You can email me anytime... I cant promise I won't mock you, but if I do, I won't include your handle...LOL Same goes for you, HViking...


toothysmile 50M
16515 posts
11/10/2005 7:46 am

Oh boy.
Bad news. How do I top these on my upcoming note to you?

If I at least do, will you promise to quote me in one of your posts?

eastend79 38M

11/10/2005 2:56 pm

I once sent a email and IMs to a friend titled "Hot XXX Blogger penis enlarging action inside" They never quite got past that, and never once looked to see who it was from...

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