"I Was Working As A Waitress In a Cocktail Bar..."  

LilBlondeNZ 40F
1259 posts
6/16/2006 10:06 pm
"I Was Working As A Waitress In a Cocktail Bar..."

Well, I'm coming up close to my 100th post, which will most likely be the last post on this blog. I'm likely starting a new one that will chronicle this New York girl's misadventures in Auckland and my adjustment to life over there. It may or may not be on this site, I haven't decided. I'm pretty much done here in Long Island as of now, but am waiting on graduation next Friday, June 23rd. Although I will be returning to New York to work in September for a few weeks, everyone knows my home is already in New Zealand with Bulge.

I'm leaving the day after graduation, which just happens to also be Bulge's Birthday. Yay!

I've been working on this post for awhile. People often stumble onto my blog and want to know the whole story, so this post gives it in one post. It's like the 'director's cut' of my blog and what was going on in my head and what the story was behind some of the posts, and also give new people the background on me, my friends, how Bulge and I met, and how we struggled with a long distance relationship over the course of the past 8 months. Settle in, this is the whole story of a blonde's journey from rock bottom to success. It's a complete retrospective of the past year. Looking back I feel it deserves it's very own "E! True Bloggywood Story".

Bulge just posted about how the time has been ticking away and we're down to the final countdown. It's not the first time we've counted down however. Bulge and I reminisce about that first countdown back in December and those first days together all the time.

But how did it all start? What were you like before he came along?

I started my blog almost a year ago, I spent the summer of 2005 in the Hamptons in a sharehouse which was a constant party. I had moved out from the apartment I shared with my live in boyfriend at the time and was looking to escape. Right before that I had left a career as an attorney and divorced my husband. I had gone back to school and was in a state of transition. I was initially very self conscious about writing. I wrote my very first rant about dick pics. Had some fun flirting with bloggers and playing name that tune with lyrics back and forth. Mindless stuff mostly... summer was a blast and I dated a lot of people, taunted our poolboy, drank my face off, smoked serious quantities of pot, skinny dipped and flirted with the cops who came to make us turn down our music. I was an A F F sex kitten, 115 emails a day, sexy pics up, 347 network friends, 9256 times in the hotlist, more dates than I could handle... I was like being one of those bot girls, only I was real. It was fun, and great rehab for my badly damaged ego.

But summer ended, and with September, came angst. I got tired of the hookup routine and wanted more from my life. I ended all the superficial relationships that were getting the best of me. For my 30th post I revealed 30 Things About Me.

I decided to come clean with myself and with everyone else. I wrote at length about my struggle with commitment. Only to discover right after that the person I had been dating for weeks, unbeknownst to me, was yet another in a string of married men. That did a number on my head. I told all men to fuck off at that point and did the famous He's Just Not That Into You post. I withdrew back into my shell, disappointed in what was going on in my life. I left the site completely.

But I came back a month later. Come November, I moved out to a little deserted beach town for the winter. I was resigned to take a break and just concentrate on finishing school and chilling out, but it was lonely. So I started to blog more and one night I was sitting out on my deck alone and I had a random moment where I truly felt as if everything would be OK, like the universe was telling me "You're on the right track."

I took that as a sign, and accepted a few dates that week, thinking maybe one of them would be "The One". I hated dating and started to second guess the decisions I had made in the past. I started to wonder, "What if...?". And I posted on Googling My Ex. This struck a chord with a bunch of people and all of a sudden I actually had people commenting on my blog. Bulge was one of them. Trav was one of them. Trav emailed me after that post and we started chatting.

Friday night, November 11th, was a fateful night. I was supposed to go out with some random guy in the city. We had been talking for a few weeks, and although I was kinda skittish about going out with anyone, I agreed to meet him in the city to have dinner and watch the Islander game at the pub. He really seemed like someone who was pretty cool and he had always been the one to pursue me so I thought "What the hell...OK" I drove for three hours in rush hour traffic to Manhattan, and with no warning whatsoever he stood me up.

And that was it.
That was the straw that broke the camel's back.
I was done.
I was done with men.
Done with love.
Done with everything.

I came home, blogged it, and proceeded to get completely wasted that night. The next day I slept all day and accepted a last minute dinner/drinks date with a sympathetic local blogger. We had always chatted on a friendly basis and he had a girlfriend, so I figured it would be fine. Well, I ended up drinking a bottle of wine quite quickly, and we ended up in bed an hour later.

I woke up the next morning alone in ever sense of the word, feeling like I didn't want to go on.

I stayed in that night because it was Sunday and I had to switch onto my night schedule routine for a Monday night start of my new pediatrics rotation. This meant I had to try to stay up the whole night. I was chatting to Trav that evening, telling him about the previous night's one night stand disaster and he invited me to join him and some more people in a chat conference. I resisted. I was cranky, I didn't know any of those people and I was kinda annoyed at the suggestion. But I was in my pajamas, and pretty intent on continuing my 72 hour drinking bender, so I figured again "What the hell...". At least I wouldn't technically be drinking alone.

But I clicked "Accept" and from then on, it was history.

There were several people in the chatroom Trav had created. Amongst them were _Safira, [blog DaphneR], Silhouette2005, [blog sj365] and a few others were in and out...

And amongst them? Bulging_Boy

His first words to me?

"Top Off, Blonde!!!!"

I cracked up. Trav knew just what I needed... friends. He didn't know what he had done for me at that point, and neither did I. Regardless of circumstances, regardless of how he's thankfully really too busy with his new life to talk as much as we did before, I still thank him everyday for being the kind of person who would take a pathetic little thing like myself and throw me in with a bunch of awesome people to cheer me up. We all stayed up all night until 7:30 am.

I was instantly taken with Bulge (I so keep almost writing his real name) and I actually unabashedly pimped him out the next day on my blog. It wasn't love at first chat, but I really liked him and thought he was fucking hysterical. I still do (on both counts). He was just like he is now- quickwitted, always joking, self-deprecating, caring yet demented, and of course "Mr. Fucking Spellcheck". I, the poor typer that I am, was quickly a target for his incessant corrections and jokes. (I still am.) By later in the evening everyone had their cams up, and so did he. My first thought when I saw him? "OMG He's fucking *cute* too!"

Bulge and I continued our conversations privately. We talked about *everything*... our divorces, his kids, New Zealand, America, music, life, love, pain, disappointment, everything... I had never had such open conversations with anyone. And I never had met anyone who was so on my wavelength. I was intensely attracted to him in every way. It was very evident to me from that night on...

I was in love.

But there were complications: He was on the other side of the world. He had 4 kids and was not moving. I was still in school for another 8 months here. I was also involved with another person for whom I cared very deeply for. I thought that there might have been true potential there and I didnt know what to do. I doubted myself. I tried to reason that New Zealand was too far, and with all Bulge's baggage, it could never work. I had a chance with an awesome guy here in the states, so I told myself I should just forget about Bulge.

But I couldn't do it.

So I told the other guy about the situation. He was understandably hurt and I felt awful. But he found someone else quite quickly afterwards and we managed to remain really good friends. I'm happy we handled it that way we did and I still count him amongst one of the best people I know.

Bulge and I continued to get to know each other, but we were very connected from the start. This post was the first time I wrote about him. It was written so that only he would know it was for him; the first line of every paragraph is a line of lyrics from a kiwi song he sent me. That song will actually probably be our wedding song. He wrote about me as well. Although he had only known me three weeks, he booked a ticket to bring me to New Zealand for winter break. I was afraid I was being stupid and impulsive, but I had to go. I worked 12 nights in a row so I could afford my half of it. That is the real reason I was broke and had to hit the pole as a blog stripper He was broke too!

Still we were all in the chat conference rooms every night together and none of our friends really knew. We didn't want to weird everyone out so we decided to keep it to ourselves, well as much as we could. Daph, being the sharp observer of human behavior, figured it out on her own, but she kept it to herself! There were a lot of clues and we were horrible at lying so it probably wasn't *that* difficult if you were really looking for it.

Our first countdown commenced and the days went by *so slowly*. I was finishing up with my pediatrics rotation and was on nights so Bulge and I were on the same schedule. He hinted several times that I was the Christmas present he was waiting for. Finally the day came for me to leave New York and he was bouncing off the walls. [blog DaphneR] was chatting with him the whole night, but he didn't know that she had figured it all out. Meanwhile he was struggling to keep it a secret. It was hysterical. She finally admitted she "knew" and he just about died of relief to have someone to talk to about how excited he was. He didn't sleep the whole night.

After the 24 hour trip, I got off the plane and when I walked out through international arrivals, I saw him right away. He was waiting for me with flowers and a grin. He was looked just as handsome as he did online, and I think he was shocked that I actually showed up. It was the week before Christmas and it had taken me about an hour to get through customs and immigration. But he was thinking I didn't get on the second plane in LA, that I had changed my mind. We kissed hello, but didn't make out at the airport or anything; we were so nervous/ excited just to be together that we both were talking a mile a minute. We jumped in his car and drove off... On what seemed like the wrong side of the road to me and I was bugging out!

We got home and he not-so-gingerly told me that "by the way..." the kids would be over in 20 minutes because his ex-wife needed him to drop them off at school that morning. Internal reaction: WTF????? OMG OMG OMG panic. External reaction: Are you sure you're OK with me meeting them? But it went OK. I got thrown head first into the deep end, and somehow managed to swim. I was scared about meeting the kids, but I remembered something about if you don't show fear animals won't attack, so I went with that hoping it had some application to his pack of rats. I highly recommend watching the Discovery Channel for all your parenting advice.

The rest of the first day? Magic. That's all I'll say. We immediately switched over from voice and text to real life without missing a beat.

We had waited all that time to tell our friends so it was really fun to go into the chatroom that night and to see everyone's face as I appeared with Bulge on his cam. Everyone who didn't already know simultaneously cheered and then cursed us for being so sneaky. But everyone was happy for us and we were really grateful for everyone's support.

The second morning though was yet another shock/ panic moment. Bulge's parents showed up unannounced while we were in our skivvies making breakfast... I almost fainted as he told me whose car it was that had just pulled up, but then *flew* upstairs to put some clothes on. I came downstairs and went into "if I act graciously and smile maybe they wont notice that I'm quietly hyperventilating" mode, and made some coffee while holding onto the kitchen counter for dear life. By the third morning I was expecting his ex-wife to crawl into bed with us. (And no, that would *not* have been hot.)

The rest of the trip was just as amazing. It was evident in every minute, every action, every touch that we were meant to be. I fit right in, and by the third day it was as if I had always been there. It was totally insane and mind-bending. I got on well with the kids, we had the holidays with his family and I got to meet everyone. We were completely happy.

So when Bulge proposed on New Years Eve at the top of One Tree Hill in Auckland, there was no other answer but "Yes". It was one of the best nights of our lives, and certainly the best New Year"s I have ever had.

We didn't go public as a couple on our blogs right away. I didn't want to. Other couples had a difficult time of it and I was afraid people wouldn't be supportive. Bulge was in the Top 10 at that point and I was concerned that he would lose a significant part of his following when all the ladies figured out he was taken. To which, in true Bulge style, he said "Ummmm. Who gives a fuck?!" Everyone was really happy for us and many, many comments were left on the post he wrote to announce the big news. It was really a time we look back on so fondly with so many memories. Those memories have gotten us through an incredibly difficult time being apart.

I had to leave a few day after and I was when it came time to leave I was devastated and so was he. I have never felt such pain as when I had to turn away and let go of his hand and walk through the departure gate. Watching test cricket, I cried all the way back to New York. Upon my return I was completely depressed and heartbroken. Non-functional. Bulge was the same. I couldn't even blog. I slept and drank for about a week. Then I pulled myself up and grudgingly rejoined the land of the living. We coped the best way we could. We were constantly in touch through Skype, IMs, and cell texts. We used our blogs as a diversion. I wrote about him He wrote about our trip to Sky Tower and about me driving for the first time in New Zealand. I posted about how he charred the roast and about the funny things that had happened while I was there and after I went back.

During the course of things we decided to take a break from blogging to work on our relationship and block out a lot of negativity that was going on in the blogs at that point. There was all sorts of crap going on and we just couldn't take the bullshit, so we left. Bulge faked his death or something and I just disappeared. We still kept in touch with everyone, but spent a lot less time online with everyone. I think some people were offended by our departure, but the ones who were truly our friends kept in touch with us just as much and understood our decision.

I scrimped and saved and planned a surprise trip to New Zealand for my Spring Break. It was Bulge's kids' birthdays and I wanted to make sure I was there, and of course I was missing him so badly that I was becoming completely unglued. I went in April and he was SO surprised. The trip was great and it felt really good to be home. Unfortunately, two weeks later I had to go back to New York to take my finals and start my last round of clinical rotations before graduation. Again, leaving sucked. It was just as awful as the first time, but at least I had a shiny rock on my left hand when I came home.

Upon my return home, I was again so depressed that I couldn't even function. So I turned back to the people who supported me the first time I went through this, and I returned to the blogs. Bulge followed, even though he was originally apathetic, to keep me company. We supported each other as we started the countdown all over again. From that point on, I used my blog as an outlet for issues I've been needing to deal with; everything from my anxiety about being a stepmom, to getting closure on my mother's estrangement and my sister's suicide attempt, and even putting to rest the pain from the tragic death of my first fiance. Above all else, I celebrated passing Physics- the last class I needed to complete in order to graduate.

And Bulge was there with me the entire time I went through all this stuff. So my favorite post since I've come back is this one about how I traded up. And now we count the days, hours, and minutes until we're back together again. We have lots of support from our great friends on here and we realize every day how lucky we are.

So that's the whole story.

It's a story of adversity, loss, of redemption and fate, and above all else love.

It's my story.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

bulging_boy 49M

6/17/2006 2:43 am


This is a fantastic post.

You've captured a magical part of both our lives.

8 days 7 hours 15 minutes.

helga_hansen 49F  
1987 posts
6/17/2006 5:19 am

*Sniff*... can someone pass me a tissue?

A... I truly hope that you and Bulge will be happy. It is so wonderful to read that happiness is possible, and I am only glad that I was able to be a (small) part of it.

Hugs and kisses to you both!


Love, hugs and kisses from ♥♥HH♥♥

_Safira 53F
11260 posts
6/17/2006 6:13 am

BABES ~ Why the fuah did you have to make me cry so early in the morning??? I am THRILLED for both of you! New Zealand is getting one hell of a citizen. BOTH of you deserve all the happiness in the world ... and I'm happy to have seen just a small part of it (because THAT was/is phenomenal ... and gives everyone hope).

There are things that are left unsaid but are felt to the depths of the soul and that we mean every day. THAT is what I wish for you and BULGING ... always, always.

*much love*

Safira (Mistress Bunny Foo Bitch) {=}

This is my blog - Comes With Warning Labels. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

RECOMMENDED READING: A F F ... The Only Site For Me?

rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
6/17/2006 7:46 am

The two of you are great and I wouldn't have missed being a part of all this for anything in the world.

I love you both bunches.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.

LIBlonde97 40F
1028 posts
6/17/2006 8:52 am

Hey Baby-

I'm glad you liked it. I thought it would be nice to have everything in one place. All the posts we always go back and read... looking back as we look forward.

One more week and we'll be back together!

I am so excited.... EeeeeeeekkKKKK!


LIBlonde97 40F
1028 posts
6/17/2006 8:54 am

    Quoting helga_hansen:
    *Sniff*... can someone pass me a tissue?

    A... I truly hope that you and Bulge will be happy. It is so wonderful to read that happiness is possible, and I am only glad that I was able to be a (small) part of it.

    Hugs and kisses to you both!

You were there for it all, missy!

You were there the first time I fell asleep on cam in bed with my laptop (certainly was not the first time!)

Thanks for all your purple comments. I love them. And you!


LIBlonde97 40F
1028 posts
6/17/2006 9:05 am

    Quoting _Safira:
    BABES ~ Why the fuah did you have to make me cry so early in the morning??? I am THRILLED for both of you! New Zealand is getting one hell of a citizen. BOTH of you deserve all the happiness in the world ... and I'm happy to have seen just a small part of it (because THAT was/is phenomenal ... and gives everyone hope).

    There are things that are left unsaid but are felt to the depths of the soul and that we mean every day. THAT is what I wish for you and BULGING ... always, always.

    *much love*

    Safira (Mistress Bunny Foo Bitch) {=}

I know, I should have put a tissue disclaimer at the top.

***Read at your own mascara's risk***

Yes, you were along for the ride from the first night- we'll have to have a reunion!

I do feel everyone's good wishes for us. Maybe it's what has helped everything work out the way it has... I know our situation has given me renewed hope about a lot of things, and I hope it does the same for others. It's not a perfect relationship, and it hasn't been easy... but it's still more than I could have ever imagined for myself. We're both very lucky...

It's always good to see that there are people pulling for us.


LIBlonde97 40F
1028 posts
6/17/2006 9:11 am

    Quoting rm_DaphneR:
    The two of you are great and I wouldn't have missed being a part of all this for anything in the world.

    I love you both bunches.
Daph... We love you bunches back...

Get out *your* party hat!!!!!


impish_pixie 54F
6867 posts
6/17/2006 3:47 pm

Oh FFS...now I'm all weepy - but what a fantastic post to chronicle the story of you. You Ms. A are dear woman and deserve every single piece of happiness thats coming your way. Funny how life works isn't it? And don't forget sweetie about that Ben & Jerry's we're gonna open over there in Kiwi Land. Much love, much joy, much happines and just tiny bits of discord to remind you of how beautiful the right one is. Blessed Be....

I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn

rm_1hotwahine 62F
21091 posts
6/17/2006 3:53 pm

LIBlonde (yeah, I almost just did the real name, too)-- this story, and I don't mean just the romance aspect of it-- sort of renews my faith in the human spirit, in what can be.

When I think of people, I notice how certain traits combine to make them the unique person that they are. In your case, I particularly value the combination of brains, heart and absolute tenacity when it comes to defending and loving those that you hold dear. And it's all wrapped up in a totally unique sense of humor to boot.

I am honored to have been able to catch a ride on this crazy train. I FULLY INTENDED to be part of the next trip, and I CAN'T WAIT.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
6/17/2006 5:23 pm

Congratulations! As I read your story, much of it reminded me of how I met my man. The difference is, we live only 15 minutes away from each other. Our dilemma was and is he is still married. Hopefully, the divorce will be final by the end of the month.

I am very happy for the two of you.


frangipanigal 44F
10406 posts
6/17/2006 5:40 pm

A wonderful "flashback" on the story of a wonderful couple.

Congratulations and welcome to the "Southern Hemisphere" Bloggers.

It's times like this you need a "fast forward" button so Bulge doesnt have a heart attack counting down the minutes...

(a very happy for you both) Frangi x

ella1966 50F
1528 posts
6/17/2006 7:09 pm

I am very happy for you both and hope that what you have will sustain you through the difficult time of establishing your off-line, real time relationship. It is SO nice to hear of a success journey where the pain has been worth it. Congratulations and my heartiest best wishes to you both from across the Tasman.

ella X

barbiebunny 36F
5597 posts
6/17/2006 10:29 pm

Sweetie, My cheer pal in the late night hours... I am SOOOO happy for you and love you so much from afar I cant even begin to tell you... Your happy life is yours. Im sooooooooooo happy for you and bulgie!

Its good to be...ME

(Princess Lips)

6/18/2006 2:02 am

awww that was great...all the best to you both...

an inspired princess


bipolybabe 54F

6/18/2006 7:39 am

What a great story! Thank you for posting the whole thing with links along the way. That's what I love about blogs. They let people delve deeper if they're interested.

Please, please don't leave here when you go to NZ. We'll want to continue to hear the story as it unfolds.



Check out my blog Bi-Poly-Babe for more sensual, sexual pleasure!

rm_goddess1946 105F
13518 posts
6/18/2006 5:00 pm

I've been applauding since the day one....
time is really an illusion anyway...it will be but of
a flash of light in the sky and then you will be in NZ...

I've said it before and will say it again...
I'm so very happy for both of you whether you are
here in blogland or not, I see you doing life together
in an autentically amazing way.

Cool Banana Beans..that's what!

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...

TheRealThing655 48F
9558 posts
6/18/2006 5:58 pm

I am SO happy to learn the story of you two. I knew you were in love and such, but having the background of it is just so cool and amazing. Don't delete your blog...I want to go back and read all of those posts you mentioned!
I just love stories like this...when things happen when you least expect it...when your life is much fuller with love and understanding....sacrifices people make when they truly want to be together. You two are really an inspiration to me and to many of us here. I wish you all the happiness in the world...and it is getting SO close now.
Thanks again for sharing the whole Bloggywood Story (I loved that, by the way )

barbiebunny 36F
5597 posts
6/18/2006 5:59 pm

Safira (Mistress Bunny Foo Bitch)

Serious, I laughed so hard I peed my chair Saf....

Its good to be...ME

bardicman 50M

6/18/2006 6:12 pm

One of the highlights of my life was watching this story unfold. For two of my bestest friends to get together and be so happy has truly inspired me to just breathe one more time, at a time when I wasnt certain I did want to breathe again. I will always love you two.

I am not dead yet

rm_corezon 53F
3376 posts
6/18/2006 8:16 pm

Girl, girl, girl...you give me hope

I SO wish you and Bulge the best the world has to offer.

mm0206 68F
7767 posts
6/18/2006 10:10 pm

I think you have won the Grand Prize.
and he is the Luckiest guy to have found such a beautiful and sensitive woman....

Hold on to each other what you have found is unbelieveably precious
and please please please dont let him stop blogging ...
he truly makes me laugh until I am crying...
even when I am mad... sad and down
such humor is rare and so natural to him.
May all the best that the world has to offer be yours.
Good Luck!!
tight hugs for you both...

chasingfun27 38M
1108 posts
6/18/2006 11:15 pm


That really is something. An amazing path that the two of you have taken.


P.S. Sorry, the timing of this seems terrible on this post. I just emailed you and wonder if you could check that out.

Thanks (and still sorry)

HBowt2 58F

6/19/2006 6:46 am

This one is truly amazing..thanks for sharing it and I hope you have a wonderfully happy future together.....

MissAnnThrope 56F
11488 posts
6/19/2006 7:18 am

I can't believe I remember all the old posts from last year. I used to read them and think you were meeting all the typical guys from around the area, who give men a bad name. Which is to say, in this region, 98% of them.

That said, I'm very happy for you to and wish you both the best. After more than your share of fucktards from this site, you do deserve happiness.

Kaliedascope61 41M
4084 posts
6/19/2006 3:03 pm

Very sweet story, reminds me of something similar that is happening to me . And being from texas, everything outside of texas is the other side of the world to me!


Addy19742 42F

6/19/2006 6:05 pm

Wow!!!!!!!!!! Congrats! I was totally teary eyed reading your post. Good Luck!

Peche85 31F

6/19/2006 6:35 pm

I'm so excited for the two of you!

rm_mmmgoodnova 105M/105F
1259 posts
6/20/2006 9:11 am

Lovely her-story, thanks for sharing it.

meerkittykat 42F

6/20/2006 10:03 am

**Looks around**
First-time caller.

After all the crud going around here, I sometimes forget why we're all here.

Thanks for reminding me. Yours and Bulge's story let me know that love knows no limitations other than the ones you choose to impose. I need to say that to myself.

Goodluck and Godspeed for both of you.....Meer

EE407 41F
3903 posts
6/21/2006 12:49 am

Good luck with everything and thanks for sharing your story

Hugs E.

want2play926 45F

6/21/2006 11:24 pm

I think this is the best thing that I have ever read in my life.

I do not know either of you, but I pray you have a blessed life together.

Words can not describe the love your post breathes.

Congrats to you both!

MillsShipsGayly 51M

7/7/2006 10:17 am

Bravo .... Going to root down under?

justaskme779 37F

9/17/2006 1:51 pm

Aww this is just the sweetest Congrats to you both and good luck for the future xxx

crazygurl2xx 56F

9/18/2006 10:55 am

CONGRATULATIONS!!! that's an awesome story.

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