|Blogs > Kyrand > Whispers on the wind|
Reading a post tonight by someone I've only recently had the pleasure of crossing paths with brought back memories of the past and some of the feelings associated with them. Its funny how, after so many years, grasping at the fractured pieces of a memory can bring such strong emotional reactions from deep within us. One would think that time would dull the edge and leave us better able to cope with the past. I’ve come across many people who say its like opening an old wound, this remembering of things long past.
A soft tap of a small bird
Searching for a meal in a tree nearby
The rustle of Autumns' leaves
As a breeze brushes softly past
I stand, lost in shadowy memories
Like a great forest of rotting trees
Vague images of what was once my life
Half remembered, half burned away with time
Bits and pieces come together
A face, a smile long ago
Warm light, touching
Only to slip away, back into chaos
As I stand in the place of sorrow
Where memories rip the soul
I look over at the bird in the tree
Trying to block out this one memory
Just this once, trying not to remember
To never remember looking into your grave
Watching then bury you below the trees
The trees you loved so much
Sometimes you grope, trying to discover pieces lost in the shuffle of time, only to cut a finger on another sharp edged memory, one linking to the next as you delve through the clutter in your memories. As time passes you lose more and more, only the most vivid surviving to prick and bleed us when they spring into the forefront of our minds.
I remember that night..
The images.. the feeling
Are burned forever into my mind
Like fresh scars left by a burning iron
Bringing tears to my eyes and a cry to my lips
Leaning back against a tree
Listening to the world move around me
I feel tears, like fire, slide down my cheek
As those burning memories strip my control once again
You left me alone, my friend
You took something dear to me away
And left me with only memories, shadows
The past.. with no future.. the past.. with no hope
I tried so hard to make you see
The love, friendship.. I tried so hard
I opened my heart to you, and gave you all I am
And then watch you throw it from you and take yourself away
I lean against this tree, and cry
Eyes seeing nothing through the tears
Tears filled with such loss and loneliness
Because I miss you, my friend.. and can never tell you
Because you took yourself away...
Then, one day even those fade into blurs of formless color and words
She was alone again, in her small empty world,
The voices had gone away, faded into the past,
She tries to recall the emotions they created,
But even those seem to have melted away.
Sometimes it is so hard, so tiring,
The groping, the searching for things familiar,
When all you can find is a kind of misty nothingness,
Sometimes just listening for the voices is hard.
She cant remember the last time they came,
The children teasing each other,
Pushing and shoving, laughing,
But she can remember their smiles..... Sometimes.
Blacks & whites, colors and words without meaning,
Looking out her window making up words to fit what she sees,
Searching for anything recognizable,
Something to hold on to, something to touch.
Warm, salty tears fill cracks made by time,
Eyes blinking in the sunlight they cannot see,
Looking into a world made up of memories,
Images blurred and runny with age.
Hold onto your memories. Even the most painful ones should be cherished, learned from and drawn upon to help us with future choices. Never forget, while we may not like the pain the world gives us, its sometimes necessary to go through in order to learn how best to become the people we wish to be.
11/15/2005 10:24 pm
Dear Kyrand ~|
I have a tattoo above my bum (no ... it's not littered with Chinese symbols that really mean "beef with broccoli"). It's my tagline ~ 'Pain is a Gift' above a glorious angel. All who meet her love her so. As Nietzsche was fond of saying, "What does not destroy me makes me stronger." There is great truth in pain and our ability to process it on all levels. Oui?
Your words are very moving ... sad, painful, haunting. Perhaps by releasing them you are on your way to healing that which you did not know needed mending? For myself, I have found that oftentimes healing a wound is as painful, if not more so, than its original infliction. And I think it's precisely because we are living through it in retrospect. *quelle surprise ... I actually have a poem about it* (Maybe one day it will find its way to Blogland.)
I wish you well ... and am glad our paths have crossed in this finite cosmos of A F F Land.
This is my blog - Comes With Warning Labels. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
RECOMMENDED READING: A F F ... The Only Site For Me?
11/16/2005 10:57 am
Thank you both for your responses. The post was more of a commentary then a personal remembrance of the past. Those memories were dealt with long ago and I’m a better person for them. I just felt inclined to illustrate how our memories can affect us. It was purely analytical *wink*
11/21/2005 10:26 am
wow...the good thing about memories...they are there to remind us...of everything!!!|
live more, laugh often, love much