Silver lining on black clouds  

Kokomo1963 46M/53F
42 posts
5/1/2006 9:16 am

Last Read:
5/4/2006 8:29 am

Silver lining on black clouds


Saturday was a bust, but as the song goes, "thank goodness for unanswered prayers". After the early morning wake up call telling me that I was in trouble later in the evening, my 'date' was a no-show! For the second time, no less! First time: shame on you; Second time: shame on me! There isn't a third time. It was ok though. As you may have seen in Friday's note, my head wasn't really with this guy anyway.
I'm a little (lot) focused on something else right now and acquisition is in sight! LOL. Looking for a new experience, which has been promised to me. Complete dominance in the bedroom. And it's all I can think about. I think it's going to be the best therapy that money can't buy! I get so tired of having to be in control all the time--out of the bedroom especially, but in as well. Not that they weren't men and I didn't totally get off, but I'm starting to realize it was an adjustment for me. Which could explain why many times it felt like so much work--fighting my natural inclination (or some B.S. like that). And the whole having to lead them into my kink, just doesn't work either. If I have to tell/show what I want/need, then it's pointless. So in a little twist of fate, and by chance, I find the person who will fulfill my burgeoning desire to give up the control and just "be". The funniest part of all is that I had forgotten that I had this desire, so the whole thing started out as sheer luck. Guess that's life, huh!
So now I'm on the ultimate countdown, which I'll keep to myself right now. Let's just say it's too long and too much time to give him to torture me!

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