No Regrets  

Kokomo1963 46M/53F
42 posts
5/4/2006 9:24 am
No Regrets

Do you ever wonder what motivates people? Why some people take chances and some don't. And even the kinds of chances people take can vary. People are fascinating. Although I've said before, their hearts and spirits can sometimes disappoint--and I'm sure that works in the reverse, but I can't imagine it! LOL.

Do you tell people that you are on a "dating" site? And if so, what is their reaction? It's pretty comical sometimes. I told a gal who I've become friends with in my office building, that I'm meeting someone in a couple of weeks, who I met on a website, and she immediately assumed the worse. (Obviously she isn't taking into consideration what she knows about me.) Don't get me wrong, I can understand why people would think that way, and I'm sure there are those out there who do just jump into one bad situation after another. Or maybe it's just luck...I could bank my safety, and the fun factor on this person. But I'm also very perceptive about people--especially when I first meet someone new, with no contact. And that's why you put them through "hoops" for a while to make sure it's all good and safe and that you'll get what you need out of it, too. (Ya, I'm sure I'll get in trouble later for the "hoops" comment! LOL. )

But it always comes down to sitting on the front porch, at 80 YO, and talking about all I've done, and not regretting what I didn't do. Life is too short and some people have had to face that sooner in life than others, to appreciate the truth of that. It's just what they do with that knowledge that can be good or bad.

Which is why there is no time in life for people who can't communicate, don't want to communicate, refuse to communicate, or communicate bad information. Take this recent experience: trade notes, VERY explicit about what I want, what I don't want, and my health. I even asked twice if he had read my profile and he said ya. So low and behold what do you think are the first words out of his "mouth" when we start IM'ing??? "Are you looking for a monogamous relationship?" IDIOT! I made it clear I was--I'm told constantly how articulate I am--not to mention that I covered my bases a couple of times--and still they think they're going to talk you into something else! Sheesh! OH, and did I mention the "kiss of death"? The profile with a picture of...yep, you guessed it...THE PENIS!!! Some people just don't get it.

So it's almost the weekend and I'm going out with the girls this weekend, but I decided yesterday that I'm just going to be a good girl for a while longer and just "save" myself for my little upcoming rendezvous. That is one of those things that definitely falls under the heading of "an experience" and I'm going to focus my sexual energy into enjoying the experience. Besides, I'm just too damn busy to try to cultivate anything else anyway. Originally I was saying "getting drunk or getting laid" for the weekend, but anyone who knows me, knows there won't be a lot of either--I don't drink a whole lot (especially if I'm dancing...need water for all that sweating! LOL. ) , and I've never picked up a stranger in a bar, my whole life. And I'm not just saying that. I have never done that. Probably because I don't really drink. Never been drunk enough for anyone to go from "a 2 @ 10, to a 10 @ 2"!! And the whole casual thing. It's not that I can't, I just don't seem to be very good at it. I was going to say I don't know why, but I think I do. I'm a connection person--meaning I have to have some sort of connection with just about anyone I deal with--bosses, grocery store clerk who I see weekly or more, co-workers, friends, etc. If I can't make a connection of some sort with someone, I find I have problems. I guess that makes me a people person. I definitely have a knack for getting into people's personalities and brains and picking and breaking things down. It drives some people crazy (and I know others who wouldn't appreciate it either). My last GF hated it--of course, she was hiding a lot of feelings about me--or lack thereof--and so it wasn't convenient for her to have me hitting things on the head all the time, which she was trying to hide/deny/ignore. And truthfully, anymore I don't even do it intentionally. It sounds flaky, but I just "read" people like you would put one foot in front of the other to walk down the street. It irritates me sometimes, too. I used to think it was extreme empathy, but it's gone way beyond that, on it's own. I'm sure having a cynical nature contributes to it, too. But saying I'm pretty good at reading people is an understatement. It's really bad when you know that someone has something extreme that contributes to their personality and you're trying not to let the "radar" go into overdrive, but still trying to make that connection. I'm sure all that sounds like I'm off my meds AND lost my marbles, but it's my life!

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