What Is Wrong With Me  

KittyOKane 45F
169 posts
7/22/2006 9:18 am

Last Read:
7/24/2006 3:50 am

What Is Wrong With Me

I went out, had fun last night just like I said I would. I met a guy that I've been talking to from AdultFriendFinder..totally random how that one happened. He called as J and I were on our way to Skyy Bar. So he joined us. He was very hot. Hard to read though. He didn't seem all that into me. But he still wanted to hit it. Why can't guys be more picky? Anyway, I didn't take him up on it because he's from out of town and I have issues with bringing men to my home. I guess I just don't want to upset my sister. She doesn't date. Not because she doesn't want to, but because she's so insecure that she just doesn't ever meet anyone. And I don't think she'd ever say anything about it, but I really do thing she would be bothered if I brought someone home.
But it wasn't just that. I'm having my own issues lately. All this feeling used. And the fact that guys think I'm great for fucking but they don't want to date me doesn't help. How did I turn into that person? Maybe it's all these soul searching bloggers I've been reading lately. They got me thinking too. I know I deserve better..but at the same time, that guy was so hot I'm wishing I had brought him home.

BlairBliss 40M/36F

7/22/2006 10:00 am

I do quite a bit of yoga and I find that the feelings after a good session are a lot like sex. Lots of deep beathing, muscles are all exercised, and I'm in this very relaxed place. Its interesting to consider the physical sensations minus the stuff that comes with lovemaking ... really gives a chance to seperate love and lust.

moonlightphoenix 45F
6508 posts
7/22/2006 11:06 am

Welcome to my world....siiiiigh. Coffee's on the table on the right.

Luv2BeTeased2 57M
1 post
7/22/2006 11:18 am

I have only one question.. Are all the men in OK City BLIND,STUPID or just all Gay? Im amazed that your still searching for a guy on this site! At first I thought that your picture was too small to really get a good look at you so I blew it up. All that did was convince me that there HAD to be something in the water in OK City that was making the men down there just plain stupid! Your Honestly a beautiful sexy looking women!! The problem is not with you it's with the men your meeting!. YES you DO deserve better! Now REMEMBER that next time BEFORE you agree to meet. Hey if they don't want to date you before sex then chances are they will not want to after. Make Em work for it a little bit. If he's willing to take a little extra time with you then he get's to know you as a person rather than just something to replace his right hand on a Friday night!!!


7/22/2006 11:45 am

I think it's that "any port in a storm" mentality that a lot of men have. I like to think there is something actually about "me" that they are interested in. Instead, you realize that they'd fuck anything willing to let them. How much fun is that and how many times do you want to be left feeling that way?

GraspCrownRusts 46M
780 posts
7/22/2006 5:27 pm

Glad you had a good time and a fun night out anyway.

KittyOKane 45F

7/22/2006 5:55 pm

Hi Dusty!
Moonlight, I've been reading your blog...I'd never heard of Ani DeFranco..but those lyrics...that's me right now. I'll have to check her out. When it comes to music for me, it's all about lyrics, so I have a feeling I'll like what I hear.
Luv, thank you so much...that is the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day..all week..all month. I really do appreciate it.
You're so right, BiCur...I guess if I really want FRIENDS with benefits, I should get a girlfriend! LOL
And Shawnee, yes I did still have fun. Always do when I go out.

Addy19742 42F

7/22/2006 7:22 pm

I am sorry Kitty! Like Shawnee said glad you went out and had fun. I just hate it when one feels used though. That is not gratifying to me either. It can only get better. Right?

greathandsonfun9 40M

7/23/2006 1:14 am

good luck baeb get it sorted out then experience it

canuhandle1968 48F

7/23/2006 6:51 pm

You DO deserve better! And regardless of how hot he was, or how much fun he could've been in bed (or couch, floor, kitchen table, etc), you may have felt like shit a few days later because you brought him home and didn't hear anything from him... Took more courage NOT to bring him home... Listen to Luv... He surely isn't the only man out there who thinks you're worthy of more than just fucking...

MissKittyNip26 105F

7/23/2006 10:11 pm

As one of the recent "soul-searchin" bloggers..lol.. I've gotten over that shit.. and have just said FUCK IT!! LOL! You could do the same. I think you can only feel how you allow yourself to feel! When I allowed others to tell me I was wrong and let myself feel used.. that's what I thought! BUT.. now, that I'm back to lookin' at it as.. "I enjoy sex and I can call and get it when/where/how I want.. then that's what I'm gonna do!".. I feel fine and not used. Either way.. you'll have support with whatever you do.

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