The Worst Ache of All  

Katydidas 51F
20 posts
7/25/2006 3:57 pm

Last Read:
12/13/2010 6:55 am

The Worst Ache of All

People think that when they are hurting that theirs is the worst pain in the world. And to them it may be at that time. I have found in my old age (lol) that yes being in pain is no fun. I can take an asprin and it goes away somewhat. But, so far to me the worst ache that I have ever felt is in my heart. I have been married to the same man for 20 years and I can say that most of them were okay. I had some good years as well. And when I married him I was in love. Very much so. Then as the years went by and he wandered, much as he did through our whole marriage. I hurt but I survived. At the end when it was beyond me to let it go. I was crushed, it broke my heart to think that after all we had together that he would do what he did. Well, now as I sit back and think of it, That was just stupid. He ran around our whole marriage, why would it hurt so bad at that point. Well, because for me that was the end. I am forever asked are you married, yes I still am. But, only on paper. There is no love for me there anymore. I can talk to him and be civil for the most part. But, I loved him and gave him my heart when I was young. I cared for and carried him through most of our marraige. Yet, for him that wasnt enough. I can say that for me that is what hurt me the most. The pain that I felt has faded to a sore spot. I can give my heart now if I want to. The question is do I want to. Do I ever want to go through that kind of pain again. That in itself is a silly question, no I dont want to go through that again. But, in the end do any of us have a choice. No, we dont. We can control only so much of ourselves. I myself do well in keeping myself from falling in and out of love like a teenager. But, I also find myself wanting it more and more. I am not afraid of hurting so much now, its being alone. I think that is most everyones fear. I keep myself at a distance from most of my ummmm guy friends. But, at times I find myself wondering what forever would be like with them. Lol, and well that just scares the hell out of me most of the time. Then every now and then I come across a wonderful man with a great heart and something in them that I can relate too, or would like to relate too. So, as I go through things and try to decide what I want out of the rest of my life (hoping thats a long one) I have learned that yes you can have aches and pains. But, in the end the worst ache of all is in the softest spot of all. Your Heart.

LilSquirt_4mfm 67M/67F
3394 posts
7/25/2006 5:01 pm

hi Katy

aw, but many physical pains do not go away, ever.

Pain of the heart, if caused by a death of someone dear may also never go away, i know that one too well.

however, pain of the heart over a mate that is not a mate anymore, while it hurts now, WILL go away AS SOON as YOU are able to let it go away.

my take on it

very best to you

My ♥ยงΩuirT♥er & MFM Blog


8/7/2006 3:21 am

I did not know you bloged hun..
Your such a beautiful warm caring person.. and all the pain made you the beautiful woman you are today.the softspot is because you truly care for the ones around you...
time to make yourself #1..

under the stars

under the stars
We choose to write
you choose what you comprehend.
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every key stroke... has a heart beat

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