Nice Guys Vs. Bad Guys  

Kaliedascope61 41M
3157 posts
3/14/2006 7:35 pm

Last Read:
3/22/2006 12:00 pm

Nice Guys Vs. Bad Guys

Nice guys Vs. Bad guys

After going through my normal routine today, of drinking lots of coffee, and avoiding the fact that at some point I’m going to have to put pants on, I had some thoughts about the nice guy vs. bad guy complex.

First off, I’d like to say that nice guy’s do finish last. And I came up with a list of reasons as to why. You ready? Here goes

1. You confuse women, when you’re too nice; they think you’re up to something.
2. You agree to often, you’re too eager to please, which makes you appear as if you have no back bone. If you can’t stand up to them, who can you stand up to? Don’t you ladies want someone who will fight for you? Stick up for you? Not that you can’t do it yourself, but don’t you want that option? Or to know that he will?
3. Women like to be on that pedestal you put them on, but they also want someone that can knock them off it from time to time.
4. You don’t ground them, you don’t appear solid, and you don’t fit into the conception of a man. When you’re a nice guy.

I’m sure there are many more reasons, but those are the ones that I came up with. Maybe you have more? Or maybe you have contradictions. Either way let me know, I’d love to here other opinions

I used to be that nice guy, and it got me no where but alone. I not only appeared week, but I felt it to. This was quite a few years ago, and through some bad relationships I changed, I changed into someone that doesn’t back down when I have a point to argue. I always felt like I was getting walked over and couldn’t do anything about it. One day I woke up and realized I was stronger then I thought I was. After that my attitude changed, and when I go out to bars, and restaurants women can tell, I get approached, I have even been taken home once or twice. Confidence makes a difference, you not only have to have it, but you have to show it. They gotta see it from afar, if you flaunt it in there face you go from bad guy to asshole real quick!

I was told once that women like to see how you act around your friends, they want to know where you are in the pecking order, and every group of guys has a pecking order. There is a leader, there is the funny guy, there is the one that we all pick on, there is the guy quiet one, and the dork, and the one that will drink anything!

And that’s all I got to say about that, can’t wait to see the comments.


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libgemOH 56M/52F

3/14/2006 8:25 pm

For me, (and remember, this is just MY opinion)I want a man who is real. That means don't agree with everything I say, don'tback down when you have a point to argue, but at the same time, admit when you are mistaken and know when it's time to walk away.

I CERTAINLY am not looking for one to "defend my honor" or act chivalrous. I can defend my own damned honor, thank you! (my pseudo blog stalker posted in his blog that he felt he was being picked on because he was only defending me. Who asked him to?)

The top of the pecking order as far as I am concerned is not the leader though. It's the man who is truly genuine, truly real and true to himself. I don't have a need for the rest of them... Just my opinion babe! -B


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/14/2006 8:27 pm

Well, it may be true...but what are you sayin?...we should saw one of the legs part way through on that pedestal?...

lustytaurus


southrnpeach333 50F

3/14/2006 9:13 pm

I like the confidant quiet guy with enough back bone who won't let me run over him. But he has to be a nice guy.


kyplowboy22 61M

3/14/2006 9:58 pm

Interesting perspectives all. Later

kpb


jadedbabe78 106F

3/14/2006 11:26 pm

I like the men who are in between. Not so nice that I could kick their ass in more ways than one....but not such an asshole that I WANT to kick their ass all over the place...make sense?


sideline1968 48F

3/15/2006 12:55 am

Is that why I keep him around? He doesn't confuse me, stands beside me when I may need protecting and refuses to put me up on a pedestal? H'm And here I thought it was because I like balding slightly overweight guys!


angelgrrl 48F

3/15/2006 3:20 am

Nice doesn't mean wimpy. I like nice men who are confident and funny. What I don't like are clingy men, and clingy men often confuse themselves for nice guys.


timberwolf6972 44M

3/15/2006 3:22 am

I have been told alot that I am a bad boy


_CoffeeNoCream_ 52F

3/15/2006 5:39 am

I like nice boys.....

Coffee ?


fantasylover_05 62M

3/15/2006 7:39 am

Nice and confident are NOT mutually exclusive!!

You do not need be a "bad guy" to be confident!

I think we ALL want RESPECT.. we don't want a dishrag.. but we also don't want a BRILLO PAD!! LOL

I can easily "agree to disagree"....

I don't need to humiliate her to make my point.. I can be articulate and pursuasive...

I can put her on a pedestal but at the same time acknowledge and accept that she is FALLABLE (will you ladies acknowledge that LO as am I!!!

I can have manners and common courtesy and still get my desires across!!

So I guess I am saying here I agree to disagree with you!! LOL LOL LOL

Thought provoking post.. and I truly enjoyed the responses!!


rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
3/15/2006 12:37 pm

You know I love you, right Kalie? Thats why I pick on you like I do, its cause I know you can take it. Other people I dont. So there goes to show you I know what confidence you do have.


Kaliedascope61 41M
4084 posts
3/15/2006 1:31 pm

    Quoting libgemOH:
    For me, (and remember, this is just MY opinion)I want a man who is real. That means don't agree with everything I say, don'tback down when you have a point to argue, but at the same time, admit when you are mistaken and know when it's time to walk away.

    I CERTAINLY am not looking for one to "defend my honor" or act chivalrous. I can defend my own damned honor, thank you! (my pseudo blog stalker posted in his blog that he felt he was being picked on because he was only defending me. Who asked him to?)

    The top of the pecking order as far as I am concerned is not the leader though. It's the man who is truly genuine, truly real and true to himself. I don't have a need for the rest of them... Just my opinion babe! -B
Its a great opinion, thanks for sharing it.


Kaliedascope61 41M
4084 posts
3/15/2006 1:31 pm

    Quoting LustyTaurus:
    Well, it may be true...but what are you sayin?...we should saw one of the legs part way through on that pedestal?...

    lustytaurus
You expect me to know what I'm saying? ahhhh you ask to much!


Kaliedascope61 41M
4084 posts
3/15/2006 1:32 pm

    Quoting sexydisaster30:
    I want a nice guy with an edge that will stand up to me until I smack him down.......make sense?
yep, its kinda the oppisite isnt it?


Kaliedascope61 41M
4084 posts
3/15/2006 1:33 pm

    Quoting southrnpeach333:
    I like the confidant quiet guy with enough back bone who won't let me run over him. But he has to be a nice guy.
yep, thats what i thought


Kaliedascope61 41M
4084 posts
3/15/2006 1:34 pm

    Quoting kyplowboy22:
    Interesting perspectives all. Later

    kpb
i think so too, im loving these comments!


Kaliedascope61 41M
4084 posts
3/15/2006 1:36 pm

    Quoting jadedbabe78:
    I like the men who are in between. Not so nice that I could kick their ass in more ways than one....but not such an asshole that I WANT to kick their ass all over the place...make sense?
what do you tell a man with two black eyes?

Nothing, jadedbabe has already told hime twice!


Kaliedascope61 41M
4084 posts
3/15/2006 1:37 pm

    Quoting rm_NaeniaSea:
    Honest communication and speaking what's on your mind does not exclude "nice." Defending the person you love does not exclude "nice" either.

    I don't want to be on a pedestal, I just need to be appreciated and I'm eager to reciprocate. Gone is impetuous youth, I'll take a nice guy anyday. My ex-husband is a "bad guy"...notice the "ex" part?

    I just want someone to complement me, no matter how he labels himself.
ahhh honesty and communication, the two essanitals of any great relationship


Kaliedascope61 41M
4084 posts
3/15/2006 1:39 pm

    Quoting sideline1968:
    Is that why I keep him around? He doesn't confuse me, stands beside me when I may need protecting and refuses to put me up on a pedestal? H'm And here I thought it was because I like balding slightly overweight guys!
You trying to tell me balding and overweight isn't sexy?


Kaliedascope61 41M
4084 posts
3/15/2006 1:40 pm

    Quoting rm_mzhunyhole:
    I love nice guys..men with manners..then its always a pleasent surprise when they are tigers in the bed...kinda like ya all like the nice girls..but behind closed doors ya want us to be bad girls...know what I mean?
manners? you mean like don't fart in bed and a cover her up with the blanket?


Kaliedascope61 41M
4084 posts
3/15/2006 1:41 pm

    Quoting DanielGR:
    You can't find an end to this.
    when you are the nice guy there are times that women want you to be that bad one.
    when you are the bad guy there are times that women want you to be that nice one.
    Just gotta be yourself, and ...whatever!
be yourself...hmmmmm


Kaliedascope61 41M
4084 posts
3/15/2006 1:41 pm

    Quoting angelgrrl:
    Nice doesn't mean wimpy. I like nice men who are confident and funny. What I don't like are clingy men, and clingy men often confuse themselves for nice guys.
I think your defination of nice guy, and my defination of bad guy are the same thing.


Kaliedascope61 41M
4084 posts
3/15/2006 1:42 pm

go see saintlianna, she'll give you a whoopin' !!!


Kaliedascope61 41M
4084 posts
3/15/2006 1:45 pm

define nice!


TzarsAmuseChant 41M
2854 posts
3/15/2006 1:45 pm

I always kinda figured nie guys come in second or third... just close enough to see the prize, just enough to keep them hoping and trying. The ones that keep coming in last get discouraged and either become assholes, or end up living with their parents. Or both.


Kaliedascope61 41M
4084 posts
3/15/2006 1:49 pm

    Quoting fantasylover_05:
    Nice and confident are NOT mutually exclusive!!

    You do not need be a "bad guy" to be confident!

    I think we ALL want RESPECT.. we don't want a dishrag.. but we also don't want a BRILLO PAD!! LOL

    I can easily "agree to disagree"....

    I don't need to humiliate her to make my point.. I can be articulate and pursuasive...

    I can put her on a pedestal but at the same time acknowledge and accept that she is FALLABLE (will you ladies acknowledge that LO as am I!!!

    I can have manners and common courtesy and still get my desires across!!

    So I guess I am saying here I agree to disagree with you!! LOL LOL LOL

    Thought provoking post.. and I truly enjoyed the responses!!
hmmm thank you for this, makes me realize that I should have defined my defination of nice guy and bad guy a little better
I have three types
Nice guy - clingy, needy, to eager, willing to do anything and everything she wants, will never challange her, your typical "yes man"
Bad guy - challanges her, admires her, willing to say no, doesn't put up with her crap.
Asshole - just a jerk by any defination.


Kaliedascope61 41M
4084 posts
3/15/2006 1:51 pm

    Quoting rm_saintlianna:
    You know I love you, right Kalie? Thats why I pick on you like I do, its cause I know you can take it. Other people I dont. So there goes to show you I know what confidence you do have.
of course I can take, and so can you! I think its fun, you make me laugh!

But.....your going to ruin your reptation with comments like this


Kaliedascope61 41M
4084 posts
3/15/2006 1:58 pm

    Quoting TzarsAmuseChant:
    I always kinda figured nie guys come in second or third... just close enough to see the prize, just enough to keep them hoping and trying. The ones that keep coming in last get discouraged and either become assholes, or end up living with their parents. Or both.
that is a great way to put it. and it sounds very true! and I've been there. Sometimes second place is worse then last, because your at the point where you almost there, and then lose it all. Last place your pretty much know you didn't have a good shot from the get go.


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