Funny Story  

KDR305 46M/46F
247 posts
1/12/2006 3:46 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Funny Story

It's been almost 2 weeks since New Years and I'm just now getting around to telling this story.

For New Years Eve my wife and I went over to a friend's house here in the neighborhood. Close to home, no worries about drinking and driving, etc. Besides, I can't think of a group of people we'd rather hang out with.

Bonfire in the back yard, karaoke in the basement, and lots of food all night long.

By the end of the night everyone was feeling pretty good. The little lady especially. She was feeling no pain as they say.

When she start openly making out with me in front of everyone, it tells me 2 things. She's drunk, and will most likely be passed out within 5 minutes of arriving home.

Anyway.... at around 1:30 in the morning we were alone by the bonfire, sitting on a bench and kissing.

You know that feeling you sometimes get when you're hugging or kissing that special someone where you just can't get close enough? It usually makes you squeeze the hug extra hard, or really suck on their tongue. It's a sweet kind of frustration. You get what I mean?

I guess she was overcome by one of those moments, because she suddenly pulled me toward her and leaned back at the same time. This caught me totally off-guard and I lost my balance, tilting all of my weight momentarily onto her. She was already off-balance, having leaned past her center of gravity. So over we went. Off the end of the bench. As we began to fall, I wasn't too concerned. The ground all around the fire pit is pea gravel. Plenty soft enough for a short fall like ours.

I forgot about the bucket. Next to the bench was an empty 5 gallon bucket that had earlier held kindling. My beautiful bride's ribs landed squarely on the edge of that bucket, and then I landed squarely on top of her.

She cried out briefly, and I rolled off with a laugh (not yet realizing what had happened). As I turned to help her up, I saw her wide eyes and gaping mouth.

She couldn't breathe! Her mouth was moving like a fresh-caught bass, but she couldn't get any air.

I called her name and asked if she was okay. No answer. I asked her 2 more times. Still no answer, just the bass-mouth and wide eyes. Finally I told her to nod if she was okay, which she did.

A few seconds later, her diaphragm relaxed and she was able to move air and get her voice back.

Yesterday we found out conclusively what we've known all along. She broke at least one rib that night. And on top of that, she has since caught a cold.

Anyone who has ever injured a rib can appreciate the pain of coughing or sneezing while waiting for that sucker to heal.

So let this serve as a warning to the ladies out there.

I'm so damn sexy, you'll bust a rib just tryin' to get more of me!

rm_art_persists 51M
1789 posts
1/12/2006 5:57 pm

that one hurt my sides... (as I moan)

KDR305 46M/46F

1/12/2006 8:20 pm


What part, the coughing with broken ribs?

Or me being such a babe-magnet? LMAO.

imBambi 58M/50F

1/12/2006 9:07 pm

Damn, I feel for her. A rib injury seems to take forever to heal and it hurts like hell. But you already know that. By the way, how's your sex life? LOL

Please give "Mrs. KD" our best wishes for a speedy recovery.

Bambi & "Mr. Bambi"

KDR305 46M/46F

1/13/2006 1:25 pm

MY sex life is cruising on pretty much like normal.

Flying solo is nothing new to me! LOL.

Right now she's at the stage in the healing where the swelling has gone down enough that she can feel the ends of the bones rubbing together.

I know that feeling. It's not so much that it hurts, but it'll make your stomach do a somersault or 2.

She's hangin' in there though... as long as her cold doesn't get much worse. She's a trooper.

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