5219 posts
12/15/2005 3:27 am

Last Read:
10/1/2007 7:39 am


AKA ~ Variations on SaintLi's List

Mood: Anally Retentive

This liszt is directly stolen from Saint Lianna who has her own brilliant list [post 83993] .

Most of these things are simply modifications or variated embellishments on Saintli's original list. But I can also honestly say that all of them, except maybe my answer to Saintli as to what really happened to Axl Rose, are completely true (give or take).

This is supposed to be 50 things about yourself but for brevities sake I whittled it down to 25 counting backwards from 50.

Here goes.

50. Due to having started doing yoga around the age of eight I can "blow my own horn" if you catch my autofellatio drift here.

49. I am allergic to weed killer, citrus blossoms, dachshunds and cole slaw. (that cabbage mayo combo creates an effect as if I had garbage disposal grinder inside of my mouth)

48. I like David Lettermans old stupid jokes combining Cajun Chef Paul Prudhomme and race car driver Don Prudhomme. (funny car veal and such)

47. People always think I am cop because I ask too many questions. Also also this has been caused by the fact that I can't stand cocaine {nosebleeds, way too expensive, the "numbskull" effect etc.} so whenever I've been offered it I've said "no thanks, I just like to watch".

46. I am afraid I will go to my grave without ever titty fucking or having tried anal sex with anyone but myself. (yes, I can do myself anally too)

45. I love the Conan O'Brien show. With such characters as the guy wearing the "speedo of bees" (the same guy who does "Preparation H Raymond), the rotating air purifier that looks like Slash ( of Guns n'Roses) and Shotgun Totin', Racecar Drivin'Jesus how could you not?

Plus I love when Pender (the bands trumpet player) sings until he crecendos into a James Brown-like scream and turns as red as a tomato.

44. I only panic when I've set my house on fire.

43. I love Lemon Pepsi but hate Lime Pepsi.

42. I once chased a giant wild boar off of my property at night thinking it was a neigbors dog getting into a bucket of pomegranites that I'd left out for the wild deer to eat.

41. I was a ridiculously militant anti smoker until I lived in Denmark. Then I had an epiphany that "smokers were people too". Had I not, that country would be intolerable to live in.

40. I broke many windows with rocks as a kid. Sometimes with giant grapefruit too.

39. I have no tatoos but have some quite radical scars (see item 44). I need someone who's really great looking to now tell me the scars are "super macho and cool".

38. Axl Rose got hooked on speedballing (IVing a mix of smack and meth) and now looks about 80 years old.

37. I once pissed in a beer bottle while drunk and then stupidly placed it on my dresser right next to my bed. The next morning I woke up and forgot that I'd pissed in it. I picked it up because it looked just like a regular beer and.........

36. When I drink coffee I can always notice a distinct change in the fragrance of my piss as I am urinating.

35. I have never woken up hungover, sick with my head stuck in a toilet.

34. One of my favorite CDs of all time is called Night of the Living Dregs.

33. I've only had one "jailbait" relationship. She was 15 and I was 23. We once were parked and were making alot of noise along a suburban street at night and some Sherrifs drove up. We got dressed in about 2 seconds. They asked how old she was and she said 19. She looked it so they didn't ask for ID. She was a dead ringer for Anna Nicole Smith but had some semblance of a brain, no oxycontin addiction and real boobs. Once she was "late" but eventually the red tide came in. But I became suspicious of her because she slipped up prior to that and said to me "it might not be yours".

32. I have had a major search warrant executed in my name but still have a totally clean sheet. (no arrests, never been to court)

31. I lost my virginity at 21. Life was horrifically unbearable until then.

30. Most people used to scare me. I was a classic "shy boy". Now I seem to scare most people and at times can be quite unshy.

29. This is harder than I thought it would be. (that's what she said)

28. My Brush with Greatness - I really don't have any worth mentioning but I don't like to meet my heroes in person because I always discover that they are really just average joes.

My mom's brush with greatness were that one of her college roomies was Coretta Scott King (wife of Martin Luther King) and we used to get Christmas cards from the King family when I was a kid.

Coretta did visit once and my mom rode around with her in her "pope mobile" She said the windows on that limo were about 6 inches thick of solid plexiglass.

Her other roommie and good pal was the wife of Author James Michener. I forget her name though. Mary Maybe. An oriental babe.

Once while still in college (Antioch) she took Mary and Coretta back home to visit her very whitebread small town in WI. I don't think most of the town at that point had ever seen a bonafide 'negro' or 'oriental' in person before.

27. I sometimes smoke but never nicotine products. Except if I'm out pub crawling in Copenhagen or Stockholm (which isn't often now - every 10 years or so).

I have spent some years chewing though but I gave that up due to a mishap quite similar to my piss/beer bottle booboo mentioned above (see item #37). A tragic and quite unsavory "spitune" incident.

26. It really bothers me when someone starts vacuuming when I am sleep deprived or have a hideous hangover.

25. I drank homebrewed absinthe last night made by my brother. Doing this is legal in Sweden but not in my own state.

PS. I've never actually seen the old early 70's flick titled Lisztomania in which Roger Daltrey of The Who portrays the sexual escapades of Virtuoso Hungarian Pianist/Composer Ferençz (Franz) Liszt.

Supposedly this film has the largest prop penis ever erected in cinematic history. It's definitely bigger than that frequently seen one in Amsterdams sex museum.


The_Wraith_1969 47M

12/15/2005 4:03 am

Good stuff

silkysmoothlegs3 105F

12/15/2005 10:17 am

Very very good


12/15/2005 12:05 pm


rm_FreeLove999 46F
16127 posts
12/15/2005 1:09 pm

i like getting my tits fucked

[blog freelove999]

goddessofbitches 41M/33F

12/15/2005 6:56 pm

I'm with FreeLove...I love getting my tits fucked!!


Always The Bitch


12/15/2005 9:11 pm

All of you girls are making the fact that I've challenged myself to see how long I can go without masturbating extremely difficult!

(shudders and runs off for an ice cold shower)


curious082385 31F
4925 posts
12/16/2005 4:05 am

*laughing still*

"44. I only panic when I've set my house on fire."
Just often has that happened?


12/16/2005 7:07 am

Hey curious,

Glad to see you back here.

You axed...

"44. I only panic when I've set my house on fire."
Just often has that happened?

Some day maybe I'll let loose with the full story on that one. It's a super doozie. But once was far too many times for that to happen.

The mini moral on that one is that if it happens call the fire dept. They know what they are doing. You may think you do but you don't.

Nuff said for now.

Only about a month after that freak accident occurred I was heating some tacos in a toaster oven and from a nearby room where I was watching some TV I glanced into the kitchen to see a near carbon copy of that whole event about to replay itself all over again.

The tacos were on fire and flaming up in the little oven!

I got to that one before disaster truly struck again but the kitchen can be a quite dangerous place! I've still a blackened wall and some skin grafts as a reminder.


PS. This load of generic brand "tussin/nyquil" that I took a few belts of now has me wired to the gills. I did not realize that it also contained pseudoephedrine.

I love the contradictory statements on the bottle.

* market drowsiness may occur
* excitability may occur

Yeah, and both at the same time too.

Here's the last one they give...

* be careful when driving or operating machiney

Time to take a spin around town in my steamroller I guess.


mysteriesofme 44F

12/16/2005 7:13 am

yeah.. what he said.

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
12/16/2005 11:35 am

I LOVE it!!!! Get me some Absynthe and I will help you out with 46. Hehe. Oh, dont forget Cactus Chef playing "We didnt start the fire" on a flute. I love pender too.


12/16/2005 5:48 pm

I had no idea that so many girls might have an inkling for "boob boffin"

Saintli just for the sport of it we also might also try combining items 45 and 46.

But when I think about it could probably only concentrate on #46 'cause I can't see how see how Conan and his show could ever compete with that.

I was also hoping that someone might want to help me out with "sharing" chore #50. It might be sort of awkward at first but it's another on my list that I'd like cross off before I kick the proverbial bucket.


PS. I think I might soon make another one of these list posts.


rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
12/16/2005 7:05 pm

YAY! Bring it on baby. Pender could sing to us while we do it!


12/17/2005 5:35 am

Pender could sing to us while we do it!

It just hit me how relevant that would be since he's a "horn blower" himself.

La Bamba (the "bone" blower) really takes a lot of "Gay" shit from Conan BTW.

bone = trombone


rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
12/17/2005 9:11 pm

aw, I know poor LaBamba. Its all relative, baby.


12/18/2005 3:07 am

HH wrote...

You are a twisted, iconoclast!

Thanks Honni!

I don't know if I've ever recieved a higher compliment and coming from a bonafide flower child just makes it that much sweeter.

I'll now use my mental thesaurs to attempt a new job title for myself that I might ened putting into my profile.

Contorted Image Smasher

That would also somewhat cover my yoga skills.

I think I alwasy wanted to be one of these as a kid too.

Thanks again honni,



widowsaddiction 47F

12/20/2005 8:56 am

You're hysterical KC. I love reading your blog. Why'd you stop at 25??


12/20/2005 11:39 am

widowsaddiction wrote...

You're hysterical KC. I love reading your blog. Why'd you stop at 25??

Don't widows I plan on doing another 25 soon so part-2 should be hitting the cyber newstands before the new year hits.



_Safira 53F
11260 posts
1/9/2006 8:05 pm

OMG ... OMG ... OMG ... We need to talk!

1. I MET Steve Morse last year during my birthday weekend in NYC, when he was playing at B.B. King's club. Even though I can't play the guitar I wanted to attend his clinic held last year in Edgewater, Maryland. I LOVE him. He is phenomenal!!

2. I met Dr. King shortly before he was assasinated, while living in Atlanta, Georgia. The King family took care of my sister and me a lot. My mom was really into the civil rights' movement.

3. I'm not really hot, but I've seen some pretty bitchin' scars. They make for interesting people ... and if the skin isn't dead, the sensations you can "get" from them are pretty darn good.

What else?

This is my blog - Comes With Warning Labels. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

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