Centurion of the Century's Celebratory 100th C-note Post  

KC_JJ 54M
5219 posts
4/8/2006 4:40 am

Last Read:
8/2/2007 3:11 am

Centurion of the Century's Celebratory 100th C-note Post

This is It!
( finally )


I had wanted to include the term "unintentionally celibate" somewhere in the title but it was already on the long side of the title spectrum ( not rectum ) so I've detailed that bit of nonsense here in order to waste a last bit of time slaving away on this ridiculously humungous post.

Sorry for all of my insanities that were preliminaries to this. I'm not usually prone to such forms of annoying dramatization and sickening delay. But I've used this excercise as a means to help me with the final flush of some remaining and "ready for the dump" mental baggage leftover from some not-so-fun events that began at the start of the new decade.

I wrote this in a form that is somewhat autobiographical and while it begins in a sequential chronological manner it soon drifts to a more random and associative manner of moving forward. Also I have no doubt that some of the things expressed here will get me immediately ejected for life from the Red Blooded Macho Men of America Club. But since that's such a sorry assed organization anyway I really don't care.

OK, now I'll officially preface this

Before I was truly cognizant of how these 100th posting lists generally operated around here I mimicked one that [blog saintlianna] had done called [post 83993] but the list I made was merely a list of 25 things. It was called Lisztomania

I then later followed that effort up with ..The Next 25 (Lisztomania cont.). So if I wanted to be a big pansy and cheat on this I could have knocked off 50 from the count right there and be half way done with it. But no, I'll was a super trooper in a sleep deprived stupor and made a heretofore unseen, brand new and complete list of one hundred nearly significant (more like boring and mundane) facts about me. I did my best to make every entry both highly relevant to the fine art of "getting me" and at least marginally entertaining.

And if you are mainly looking for some quick laughs here definitely look at those two posts mentioned above first. Those two were explicitly designed with that at the forefront whereas this hulking odyssey is based upon the intent of purging some "downer mental baggage". But that also doesn't mean you'll find no humor in this one as well.

so without any further introductory poopoo here goes....

1. I was born on February 12, 1963. My mom was 38 . John F Kennedy was president and was getting a suspiciously large daily dose of intravenous methamphetamine which had been bafflingly prescribed for his "back pain". Color TV had yet to be released to the public and Flipper, a show which starred a dolphin was a big TV hit. I have no clue where I was when Kennedy was shot. But I wonder if any 9 month old babies from back them were aware of that?

2. My mother said I was like a "spoiled child" from day one. That mostly applied to food as I absolutely refused to eat Gerber baby food and would only eat top grade, freshly hand made foodstuffs. She said whatever I gravitated to , foods or anything else, you could always bet that it was the most expensive stuff available. Although I'm no upper crust snob by any measure I still have that tendency.

3.As a very young child drawing and writing alphabet characters totally fascinated me and I spent alot of time playing around with them.

4. I had the most horrific day of my young life at my first day of pre-school. It was my first exposure ever to a massive group of kids my own age. I was stunned speechless by it. Some sadistic kid rolled a tricylce up to me boldly and said "get on and I'll push you" so I did and he sent me at top speed straight into a concrete wall and then he laughed hysterically. That event is what set the whole tone of pre-school for me. Soon I dropped out.

5. Around the age of 4 or 5 I made up an imaginary frog character who was a musician and had a chemistry lab. My older brother was appalled to see that one of the things this frog cooked up in his lab was LSD. A drug that was gettig a lot of bad press in 1968. On that subject see Father of LSD Celebrates 100th Birthday

6. At that time I also began my first long series of stylistically similar peices of artwork. I called them Frog Funny Cards. They were quite intricately placed collections of my favorite words and aphabet character styles and were also loaded with stylized frog images similar to the character mention in #5. They were Rainbow colored and did look quite "psychedelic" and were done on 3x5 blank cards using various colors of ballpoint pens.

7. As a young child I once unknowingly sat on a wasps nest and was stung by three of them simultaneously. One right on the back of my skull and two on the back part of my neck. They were really aggressive in hanging on to me tightly too and my father had to come and rip the off from me.

8. There used to be ornage groves to the east of the slice of land I lived on then. Now there are three houses there. I still wish the orange groves were there. It was in these empty fields just before the housaes were built that i got stung by the wasps. My older bro and I liked to wading in the mud in those fields when it rained. Sometimes the mud held on to one of our boots and we'd return home wearing just one boot.

9. My first playmate in the neigborhood was Jeannie. A super cute brunette who eventually moved out of the direct neighborhood but when saw her many years later in high school she had grown into an amazingly beautiful and sexy girl. She had the Jaclyn Smith look which was my personal early archetype of feminine beauty. Related post... First Stirrings of Sexual Memories

10. Although somewhat modified now I continue to now retain that original archetype of idealized feminine beauty. It is not necesary for a woman to have this for me to consider her a potential girlfriend or life mate nor do I consider it "selling myslef short " or settling when I have a girlfriend who does not fit this. It's simply something that was formed by my earliest mental, intuitive and libidinal impulses towards women.

11. There are two girls at AdultFriendFinder (that I know of) that seem to fit this archetype visually but it's not known if we would be suitable/compatible or not. I may have had a crush on one of them for awhile. But based upon several "not really a great possibility of happening" factors I swithched off the potential crush on the other one before it even had a chance to begin evolving on it's own. Hardened hearts do such things. Also since i cryogenically froze the chance of crushing out on her I've found that I have no nervousness about communicating with her at all. But most likely I would have had I not "frozen her out" like that.

12. I began masturbating at the age of 13. I had written a pretty decent story concerning that too in a blog entry in which someone hoped people would contribute "first masturbations" stories. But this persons's blog has yet again been deleted or reshuffled so I cannot reference it here anymore.

13. I hate when people reshuffle or delte their blogs. I swear that I will NEVER do that. I need to habitiually save every major peice of writing I do here as some of my comments are bigger than some of my own blog posts.

14. I am and always have been an utter isolationist. I loathe distractions and interruptions. My real high is getting on a long streak and total binge of creative activity/output going. It's what I live for.

15. I have never even begun to come close to getting married or having kids. There was one pregnancy scare but her "time of the month" was just a little bit late. That was in the mid 80's and it's what got me to quit relyng on the highly unreliable "pull it out at the last moment" technique. That's what it took to get me to "get with the program" on condom usage.

16. My father has quite similar isolationist tendencies to me only I am more extreme than him.

17. When my mother died my father and I nearly seemed to become mortal enemies which was really surreal because we had never , ever showed any sign of the possibility of something like this happening before. At least I never saw it coiming.

18. I truly felt like I had been cast into the myth of Oedipus. After a half year of struggling to get along we again bonded and that aspect of the nightmare passed. Part of the reason that happened was due to the fact that my father held his grief in for an excruciatingly long period of time. He rationalized that grieving was useless self pity so he didn't allow himslef to do it. And then one day during yet another face off with him his dam burst.

19. Mine only took about a half day after my mom departed to fully explode and boy did it ever. At it's highest intensity the convulsing waves of absolute pure sobbingness were like some form of undulating seizure. At some point in the midst of it part of me separated from the feeling of it and it was sort of like I was calmly standing above myslef watching the godawful deepest of unfun emotions literally crash trhough me like gigantic ocean waves. And then I felt no pain but just the raw physical sensations my body was having as it lay there convulsing. I became like some purely objective observer of myself.

That phenomenon with that intensity only happened the first day. But having similar feelings were not over by a long shot.

20. call me a mama's boy

hows this for a changeup?

21. I get really annoyed when it appears that someone is IMing someone else in addition to me at the same time. Out respect for the other person I absolutely never ever do this. I liken it to when someone goes on a dinner date but then makes a lot of personal phone calls right there at the table with a cell phone and the other person spends a lot of time just waiting for their turn for some conversation. If you're someone who thinks you might be interested in me please make an attempt to never do either of those two things. Unless of course your goal is to gain my disinterest.

22. My mother died at the age of 79 on April 9, 2000 of lung failure.

23.My mothers death did not appear to have too much bad effect on me the night that I witnessed it. (but see #19.)

24.it was with my consent that she was removed from a breathing machine as her remaining half of one funcional lung had finally given out. I held her hand as i wathed her vital sign monitors flatline

25. Her left lung and part of the right were removed as part of an archaic method of treating tuberculosis which she allegedly contracted from drinking milk strtaight from her grandparents cow when she was 18.

26. This treatment has now been discontinued as it was discovered that the only effect it really had was to deprive the patient of a very important vital organ.

27.I had her disconnected from the breathing machine out of a love and understanding of her wishes of non resuscitation so that she would not live on in vegetative state.

28. This was quite similar to what was done in the controversial case of Terry Schiavo. And it's such a commonly practice in medicine that I have no idea why that Schiavo case got so irrationally blown out of proportion.

29. I'm very happy that President Bush did not interrupt his vacation to try to stop me from allowing my mother to go the direction she herself wanted. Terry Schiavo had no such luck.

30.Looking back on it now after 6 years have passed you might even say it's the most dramatically overwhelming emotional event of my whole life. In some way I feel certain that a part of me remains in a state of shock over it.

31. More than any other milestone tragedy in my life that is the event that most challenged me to define for myself what the nature of love itself really is.

32. I'm not sure if I've completed doing that yet.

33.. The last girlfriend I had was the closest I ever got to "finding the girl of my dreams". But she still really was not that close to being that. Simpy the closest

34. we knew even from the start that we held such highly diferent ideals about what our lives were to be about that we acknowledged and agreed that a permanent relationship between us was not in our cards. And that if either of us found another partenr who was better suited for us that we would step aside and let the other go repectfully. So right there began the countdown to the end.

35. before we made that agreement it took a mere three weeks of us being together before she , naked in bed at 3:00am after a mindboggling sex session, began harping at me about marriage

36. somehow that did not sit right with me and that is what led to our discussing "the projected future" in great dpeth and concluding with #34

37. 4 years later we went our separate ways.

38. the most awful feelings I ever had due that girl came about when directly after my mother had died and she began relentlessly grilling me about if we were ever going to get married or not. Even though we had previously agreed that we really were not well suited to do that together.

39. The feelings that came forth from that merged with the grief I felt for my mother and in this combination those feelings were so incredibly and intensely horrible that for the the first time in my life I cleanly broke off a relationship with absoltely no desire to ever have anything to do with the person again.

40. I easily held firm with that resolve for a few months but then she persistently tried to get back into my life. And eventually I softened and did what I swore I wouldn't do and allowed her back. That decision may have been made with the wrong head.

41. No more high drama after that. It was all purely going through our already established motions. On the surface it probably looked alright but it was completely hollow on the insides.

42. But, as it had always been, the sex remained absolutely stellar. Hell, it was intergalactic! It had never been of that consistently high calibre with anyone before. We connected on that level like fine swiss clockwork and we knew it. It was like our inviolate area that absolutely nothing could touch, harm or damage in any way. And she was never one to hold back sex as an idiotic means of manipulating me. For to her that would be cheating herself of it as well. And through that final period of our time together it was really only this tight sexual bond we shared that held it all together. But the end was ominously inevitable.

43. I knew the end was very close the very first time she got a phone call and went into her study and closed the door to take it.

44. She met the guy. He was a self employed computer software designer and a science nerd with a few top ranking chemical patents (the chemistry worlds equivalent of frequently played top 40 hits) who easily cleared a six figure income.

45. it still took awhile for all that to materialize but the official date the whole thing went down in flames was September 11, 2001. Somthing else happened that day that well symbolized the event and somehow the synchronicity of the two seemed quite fitting and extremely appropriate.

46. That is the day I officially began physically assembling my porn collage series.

Porn Collage 01 - A Series
Porn Collage 02
Porn Collage 02
Porn Collage 04
Porn Collage 05
Porn Collage 05 with variations
Porn Collage 06
Porn Collage 07

Still more to come on that series too.

48.I think an important part of actively loving someone is in the attempt to cleary percieve the way in which they percieve themselves. This can be quite challenging to do. I made a post which was an attempt to express these things about myself and to try to find out these things from others called. Beyond the Profile part 1 - who do you think you are?

49. This "active love" involves not only gaining a relatively good understanding of a persons idealization of themselves but also doing what you can to asist them in materializing this vision. And vice versa.

50. Long ago when I was 17 I decided to fully dedicate my life to developing myself as both a visual artist and a musician. Since then I've perceived myself as someone who is focuswed on perpetually doing that. Nothing has yet changed with any of that.

51. When I feel that love is present in my life it expresses itself through my growth in those directions.

52.For me the opposite of love is percieved and felt when something seems to be taking me away from growth in those directions.

53. another way I see love is that it is the act of simply and fully allowing someone to be themselves

54. love has absolutely nothing to do with forcing someone to bnecome who you want them to be

55. it has everything to do with allowing them to become what they really want to be

56. In every case so far it has taken me as long to get over a breakup as the relationship itself lasted. For me getting over a breakup involves fully processing the lessons it had for me, becoming fully be free (give or take) of the residual pain of it and in fully letting go of the things I liked about it.

57. despite any efforts I've made to seek someone new before that amount of time has passed I've never been able succeed with doing it. But it still might be possible.

58. I joined AdultFriendFinder right when this duration of time had passed from the ending of my last relationship.

59. I first met my last girlfriend on August 9, 1997

60. the last time I had sex or even so much as kissed a girl (the ex) was in the middle of July in 2001.

61. I'm somewhat alarmed by how easy it now is and by how natural it feels to continually remain without any form of physical contact with anyone.

62. It feels like I could now do it forever and it wouldn't phase me. And something doesn't feel right about that. I should feel phazed. I should be doing idiotic and obviously desperate things to get sex. But I'm not.

63. Somehow I've been feeling that when I do come out of this dry run that it would also be nice if the woman involved were coming out of something similar. But it's no bnig deal if that doesnot turn out to be the case. When I see women who seem to posess a capacity to nearly get sex whenever they please I feel they might lack some sort of empathy for someone coming off of a long hiatus from it. That could be a supremely distorted misjudgement on my part. And I don't know why I even feel I might need any empathy for that.

64. I used to to be an idealistic perfectionist. this highly relates to item #2 on the list. I hope I'm not fooling myself by saying "used to be".

65. I was a militant non-smoker at age four. And pretty much stayed that way until I lived in Denmark in the mid 90's. There I was cured of this disease and prejudice. But that does not mean that I now enjoy the odors or flavors associated with burnt tobacco products.

66. but will now be your friend of you smoke and will not see you as being somewhat "less than human" if you do. I viewed the world through much different eyes as a militant non-smoker.

68. My skills at acquiring cannabis products are less than zero. But I do enjoy them for certain 'sacred rites' and belive that most legislation surroubnding them is a complete crock of festering doodoo.

Anslinger was a shitslinger. (that refers to the father of modern United Statesian drug laws who knowingly used tons of false data to get loads of unjustified legislation {which still stands} passed. )

69. My Aunt had a prescription for pills containing tertahydrocannibinol way before the red tape involved with getting one was cut to a minimum. It was for her glaucoma.

70. She died years ago but her husband is now my oldest living relative and he'll soon turn 102. He grows his own cannabis plants but does not take it internally. He uses it topically rubs the freshly picked leaves or powdered dried leaves on to the surface of his knees and claims that it eases his rheumatism.

71. He was orignially from Mexico and I think he was told to do this by a bonafide "curandero". That word essentially translates to "witch doctor", shaman, medicine man or sorceror.

72. My father looks like ex-mayor of Los Angeles Tom Bradley.

73. I once worked as a busboy at a local restaurant. One day my parents came in there to eat and I pointed out my parents to another busboy who worked there and he said to me. "that can't be your father, he's african".

74. When my father was in the Army he was stationed for awhile in Georgia and in Texas. This was before the civil rights movement and he said that in the 50's he was not allowed to go many public places in those states due to how dark his skin is.

75. that did not shock him though as when he grew up he was alawys in segregated schools except for college.

76.English is his second languade. His first is an odd form of spanish that has mixtures of Hopi, navajo and a few sprinklings of other native american language words.

77. he did not realize that he had been using native loan word until he went to college and studied the spanish language formally.

78. he was the younmgest kid in his family. he was the ponly one to get a college education. One of the reasons he wanted to go to college so bad is that he knew it would get him away from his home town and all the people who tried to tell him what to do with his life.

79. His family boodlines are from central mexico.
The name of the archaic source tribe he comes from is Chichimec. Both the Aztec and Toltec tribes came out of the Chichimec.

80. My brother has blond hair and blue eyes and is a full time resident of Sweden and speaks fluent Swedish with no trace of American accent. Most Swedes are initially fooled by him and think that he is also a native Swede.

81. My mother had blonde hair and blue eyes. Her Scandinavian roots are around a small village named Nesbyen in the Halingdal valley up a fjord north of Oslo in Norway.

82. I have been to a huge family reunion there and met more than a boatload of my Norwegian relatives.

83. my mother had a very Marylin Monroe look when she was young. She did nothing to make herself look that way it's just the she naturally looked. In person her personality was nothing at all like the screen persona of Marylin Monroe.

84. Her high in life was in the helping of people to change their lives for the better.

85. She first learned she had a knack for this while recovering in a Tuberculosis infirmary as a very young adult. That changed the course of her life.

86. My fathers high in life was in helping people change their life for the better.

87. He learned this when he switched from teaching to academic counselling.

88. My mother's formal education was in Art Education and it's from her that I got inspired quite early in visual art.

89. My fathers formal education was in business (but he can barely balance a checkbook) and music and it's from him that I got inspired quite early in music.

90.I attended services for both Catholic and Quaker church services while growing up. Mom was the figurehead/leader/pastor of the local Quaker church and pop stuck with his catholcism

91. There was never any conflict at all about that with my parents. It was harmonious. A lot of other people seemed to try to make conflict out of it though but screw them!

92. I officially broke from the catholic church when I was about 11 based upon a sermon which professed that fornication was an unfogivable sin. I knew that I was quite intent on fornicating and that I could not be part of a church that frowned upon it like that so I said goodbye forever. Which was easy because nothing about that institution ever seemed right to me. I just need one sore thumb of an excuse that one was it.

93. I was the black sheep of the family and in Highlights magazine terms I was Gufus to my brothers Gallant.

94. I got my first on only kiss of my life as a teenager at the age of 17. On the one and only date I had as a teen. In that regard I do not consider the bulk of my high school memories fond ones. But if you got layed back then most likely you do.

95. I lost my virginity at 21. And it was hell getting there. But life did improve once I made that hurdle.

96. She had to conk me over the head and drag me to my cave. That's what it really took to get the job done. I was too well schooled in no meaning no plus other assorted BS hangups. But I did get over them.

Thinking about it though, I'm so in the habit of not being involved with anyone now that it just might take another one conking me on the head and dragging me back to my cave to break me out of this spell.

97. In that re-bonding period after my mom died I discovered that my mother is the only woman my dad ever had a relationship with. I found that out when he saw me grieving over my lost girlfriend and he told that he really did not know what a broken heart felt like. Other than my mother dying he'd had never had one. And due to the absolute closure of it I hear that it's a slightly different thing when the person dies rather than breaks up and lives on.

98. To this day he holds true to my mom and has no desire for another. So most likely he will never experience what regular "breaking up" feels like.

99. He's on the brink of 80, has no medical problems and takes no medication whatsoever.

100. The one girl who had all her "shit straight" about not having overblown expectations and in obviously being quite at ease dealing with all of the usual stuff that you must when meeting someone from this site and who I also felt fully at ease with ..... then, by big walloping surprise, happens to stumble straight into "the man of her dreams".

And she deserves that and I remain quite happy for her too.

But somehow for me that felt sort like how Charlie Brown must have felt when kept getting rocks for halloween candy.

And it's nobodies fault. It's just one of those ironic absurdites of life.
--------------------------------------

I hope these way too personal life details were in some way entertaining and did not bore the living crap out of you

And here's a final bonus (not Bogus) item

101.I was a compulsive porn buyer on eBay before I joined A_FF and sometimes spent up to $400.00 per month on it. Once I began blogging I was instantly and completely cured of that. One compulsion swapped for another I guess. And blogging is so much cheaper!




MMM [ MMM


rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
4/8/2006 5:34 am

I love #97, 98 and 99, but they were all really great though. I dont think I could do this. Its amazing what a postive effect your parents had on you and how well you know yourself, thank you for writing this.

As far as the compulsive porn buyer goes............well, duh. I knew that.


EroticaXTC 50F

4/8/2006 5:52 am

this was absolutely fascinating...Jaclyn Smith was my favorite angel...I always wanted to look like her...I didn't...
but now I get why I get you...my b'day if feb 18...I'm an isolationist also...artist as well...duh...but I am one of those who have dumped their blog/identity to be reborn again...someday I may tell you


bardicman 50M

4/8/2006 5:58 am

Awesome JJ.

#61, #62, and #63. Man can I relate to them.



I am not dead yet


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
4/8/2006 6:42 am

Hey JJ..that was quite interesting...thanks for posting it.

lustytaurus


Transblucency 44M

4/8/2006 10:20 am

Hey Sexyfit:

As an ex-20-a-day man myself, I understand exactly what KC is talking about here when he mentions "militant non-smokers". In fact, when I gave up I swore to myself that I would not become one of these. So many ex-smokers do. Like many other things, people will have a habit of defining another by one trait, characteristic or viewpoint. Like, for example, smoking. Or being anti-smoking.

I will agree that smokers should try to show consideration and compassion to those around them which means, in many cases, going outside to smoke, picking up their cigarette butts, and so on. On the other hand, I think it might be in the interests of harmony for non-smokers who choose to go to places where people are allowed to smoke to extend the same courtesy. Heaven knows the shrinking pool of smokers feel beleaguered enough these days.

I am certainly glad that I managed to give up and would give my encouragement and advice (if requested) to any of my smoking fellows. But I would be cautious about condemning them.

KC_JJ, you have written a delightful 100th post - congratulations. I am particularly amused by your psychedelic frogs and their Alex-Shulgin-like lab work.

29. I'm very happy that President Bush did not interrupt his vacation to try to stop me from allowing my mother to go the direction she herself wanted. Terry Schiavo had no such luck.

Ah, the intransigencies of this current president are myriad. He was able to bestir himself over one woman who, as it turned out, had scarcely any brain left at all, let alone much of her higher functions. But when an entire city was in critical need and its people had become evacucees, he somehow managed to sit on his hands, only bestirring himself when public criticism really started to ramp up.

And then it was to overfly the site from 14,000 feet. Ridiculous man. He could scarcely have made it worse if he'd airdropped cakes.

At any rate, thank you for such rich insights into your life and personality. I feel like I know you a little better, and that's a good thing.

I am crossing my fingers for you regarding your torch that you hold for a certain AdultFriendFinder member.


rm_SusieQ27 46F
2093 posts
4/12/2006 3:24 pm

KC..I was riveted,dear. the phrase 'relatively significant' did it for me, hun.

How long has it been, you poor boy? ;(

What a waste! ')

I really enjoyed reading about the real you.

Luv n stuff {=} Susie {=}


KC_JJ 54M

4/12/2006 10:50 pm


Hi Miss SusieQ,

One of the ways I like to sometimes characterize the humour native of the Bristish Isles is that much of it it seems to nearly consistently include what you might call "a grand talent for understatement". And I think my usage of that phrase "relatively signigficant" was intended to be delivered in that same spirit.

"How long has it been, you poor boy? "

How long has it been? I'm actually to ashamed to say so directly but all proper clues to doing your own quite accurate calculations for this lie within the big posting above. But I honestly think that for me to simply say "it's been WAY too long" pretty well sums the whole thing up well enough.

And I'm very pleased to hear that you enjoyed hearing about the "real me" as opposed to some phony "highly exposed to world culture" idiot who suggests that you might try calves-ear as a "dumb guy" caviar substitue.

Part of my point in exposing such a view of "the real me" like this which even includes much information that i'm really not so proud of, is so that maybe someone really will like the real me, flaws and all.

It was really quite the annoyance though when, after slaving so over writng that, A_FF proceded to nearly immediately pull the thing into oblivion with barely a clue as to why. But at least it did somehow reappear again fully intact.

Anyway I'm simply happy enough that you actually took the trouble to read it and that it does appear that you do not consider having done so a waste of your time.. And I still have a few Ian Anderson questions for you but I'll put those on hold for now

Luv'n stuff that's like luv too, {=}


MMM [ MMM


ShyWhisper2006 53F
15175 posts
10/21/2006 12:36 pm

Wow...I must say this is very indepth and I appreciate your comments on mine on my blog.
I have to say that the numbers 19 and 30...and 61...are very much ones that struck home with me. Having lost my mother at the end of March...I am very much in those states that you described so well at the moment.
Thank you for this look and entrance into your life as you view it.
*smiles*


KC_JJ 54M

10/26/2006 9:33 am

    Quoting ShyWhisper2006:
    Wow...I must say this is very indepth and I appreciate your comments on mine on my blog.
    I have to say that the numbers 19 and 30...and 61...are very much ones that struck home with me. Having lost my mother at the end of March...I am very much in those states that you described so well at the moment.
    Thank you for this look and entrance into your life as you view it.
    *smiles*
Hi Shy Whisper,

I'm surprised and shocked that you made the effort to dig up and actually read this.

I'm still not over the loss of my mom. Probably never will be completely but I am at a much better place than I was now than I was during that first year after it happened.

I dreamed of her last night and woke feeling only good about it. It's nice to now be able to have such experiences with her.

I'll have to come back and see some more of your blog. I did like what little of it I did see.

Also I've forgone doing a 250th special post now but I do plan on a 300th. I'm startung working on that one right now.

MMM [ MMM


ShyWhisper2006 53F
15175 posts
10/26/2006 1:26 pm

It was a pleasure...I had not read anything that hit the mark so well on how I have been feeling as you stated in your post. Your welcome to view mine anytime..not always sure what will be posted there...*smiles*
Take care.


_Safira 53F
11260 posts
8/31/2009 8:11 am

I KNOW I read this list when it was first posted ... as well as commented. Where's the comment??? *quelle strange* It's still just as fascinating. / *hugs* /

This is my blog - Comes With Warning Labels. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

RECOMMENDED READING: A F F ... The Only Site For Me?


_King_Cobb_ 54M
25396 posts
9/4/2009 3:41 pm

You are right about that! A bunch of stuff is missing from this and I always make certain to never delete anything either.

So yes it is a HUGE and STUPID mystery indeed. I did a full browsable archive of this blog at some point so I know I have my own backup. But I have no idea why comments would be disappearing from this one!

I need to do some more archiving before the whole thing vaporizes!


insert exploding bomb image here


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