Is It Possible  

JuicyBBW1001 54F
2166 posts
8/4/2006 11:49 am

Last Read:
10/21/2006 10:51 am

Is It Possible

I have read and re read the book The Power of Unconditional Love: 21 Guidelines for Beginning, Improving and Changing Your Most Meaningful Relationships by Ken Keyes,Jr. many many times and have over the years tried to put the advice of this book into practice. Sometimes I think I have failed miserably and others have been successful at loving others unconditionally.

According to Mr. Keyes "Unconditional love means learning to separate the person from the problem. Love the person; work with the problem." Just typing this statement over makes me think of my struggle to win the battle of the bulge and to find someone to accept me for me warts and all. Now I also know that Mr. Keyes states that to love another unconditionally you must first love yourself unconditionally. It has taken me along time to even accept me for me so loving myself will take a little longer I suppose. When I started my journey back to wholeness I knew I would have to change my attitude and to start to embrace the parts of me I did not like or love for that matter. Sort of like making friends with my skeletons in my closet. So I let myself feel all feelings and think all the thoughts about my past. I had to make peace with it and work toward letting it go. Have I succeeded? In some ways I have. I no longer see myself as a failure in life. I have proven to myself that if I put my mind to it I can succeed at anything.
However succeeding in love and relationships is still as elusive as it was all those years ago when I started this journey. Do I have the ability to love unconditionally? I would like to think I do. After all I love my daughter even though she can be a real challenge somedays. I accept myself even on days when I would just soon stay in the bed and not get up and face the day. But I can't help but wonder if I will ever really love me for me. Some mornings I look in the mirror and think damn how could I have let myself go like this? I start to rationalize away the question with the typical answer. I am a single mom with a huge responsibility. I have to work and work some more to put food on the table and clothes on our backs and have a decent place to live. Now I am going to have to find money in the budget that is already stretched to the limit to repay my student loans. So I am having a tough time with loving myself right now because I should be thankful that I have a place to live, food in the pantry, a job that pays the bills, and clothes on my back. But I am not thankful I am more resentful then anything and that really bothers me alot because I use to be so happy go lucky and trusting and I want that part of me back, and the sooner the better. The only problem is I don't know how to get it back.

And yes I was grateful this morning when my MFP was here today because I may not see him for a while now because of circumstances beyond his control and maybe that is contributing to all these feelings and maybe it isn't. I just know I am feeling an overwhelming feeling of sadness now. And could use a hug.


MorganLeFaye1978 38F
110 posts
8/4/2006 12:19 pm

LeFaye1978 gives big hugs to Juicy

Believe me Juicy there are days I feel the same way. You are not alone. Hang in there. There are people out there rooting for you!

JuicyBBW1001 replies on 8/4/2006 12:33 pm:
Thanks Morgan and nice to see you again where ya been hiding lately?

BlackHeatLust 47M

8/4/2006 12:25 pm

You can do all things thru "Him" which strengthens you my friend.

Take care of self first then those that you allow in your inner circle.

JuicyBBW1001 replies on 8/4/2006 12:29 pm:
Thanks for reminding me sometimes I forget that I am not on this journey alone.

AstirRelicLatah 64M
1993 posts
8/4/2006 2:44 pm

It always starts with self-love, self-admiration and liking who you are. Without that, I think it's tough to attract others who are worthy to your orbit...But, the journey is so tough.....My thoughts are with you. (((hugs)))

JuicyBBW1001 replies on 8/4/2006 2:49 pm:
Aww thanks for the hug just wish I could see who is huggin me though. You have been awfully sweet to me and it would be nice to see you so I am asking for a photo please.

AstirRelicLatah 64M
1993 posts
8/4/2006 4:02 pm

I can't email my picture to you, your settings don't allow it. At this time I've decided not to put a picture up on the site for a variety of reasons. Sorry.

JuicyBBW1001 replies on 8/4/2006 5:04 pm:
I can fix that.

sexyariesgirl 57F

8/4/2006 5:44 pm

LOTS of HUGGS for my Twin! I know how you feel sweetie.....but BlackHeatLust is SO right....we are NOT on this journey alone!!!!! And got me too

Power To FOK

JuicyBBW1001 replies on 8/4/2006 6:18 pm:
Thanks you are priceless to me.

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